15 weeks pregnant and partner left

[Dotdot123]

I really need some advice please, I know the decision stands with me but I just need to know what others would do and if there’s anything I haven’t thought about.
My partner of 12 years decided over Christmas he was no longer happy and didn’t want to be with me anymore, obviously this absolutely broke me. Never mind the fact that I was 13 weeks pregnant at the time, we also have a 3 year old whirlwind boy! And another thing to throw in is that we bought a new house in November..
He doesn’t want me to continue the pregnancy, keeps telling me to think realistically that I’d be on my own and reminding me that I have days where I struggle with just with my 3 year old on my own and that we need to sell the house so need to think about where I’d be living.
I was adamant I wouldn’t abort, it’s a baby, we’ve seen it move around on scans, but I want to make sure I’ve really thought about it, what would you do if you were in my situation?

Exactly this! The choice is out of his hands now. He should have thought about that before and kept it in his pants!

Wow. Men just … never fail to amaze me. I’m so sorry!! I’m assuming this was a planned pregnancy as you were in a LTR ? How is he going to just … jump ship at this point? Wtf.
It’s YOUR body and YOUR choice. What do YOU want to do? That being said it is important that you seriously think about -

If you’d be able to manage

If you’ll have adequate support with a newborn and a three year old.

How it may impact the unborn child that will have a father who wanted them aborted, (Though in time dad may come round to the idea and be willing to have a relationship with them but there’s a risk he might never.)

Again, I'm so sorry you’re going through this but it’s a blessing in disguise - even though it doesn’t feel that way now. X

No fucking chance would I risk my mental health with an abortion someone else wanted me to have
It's your body op
You do what's right for you

What a fucking turd of a man.

I would urgently got some individual counselling to work out what was best for me and my 3 yr old.

Dm me if youd like a recommendation for an excellent therapist. Shes empathetic but equally will challenge you / give you straight talk.

Separately I would understand early on... He isnt your friend cant be trusted and I wouldnt be playing fair because he is not going to.
based on his dickhead behaviour you can expect eow at best in terms of custody at best.
Given your arent married you will be in a worse financial position unfortunately id go and see a few solicitors and get some advice.
Youll struggle to sell the house for at least a year and then it'll likely take a wgile to sell especially if you refuse low offers.. so that should buy you 18m or so

What a horrible man. He decided over Christmas after buying a house with you in November? Were you having lots of arguments before?

I agree with pps - cherchez la femme. This stinks of an OW.

Anyway no - he doesn’t get to decide or pressure you into an abortion. It’s that simple. And how you will afford it? He will pay maintenance and he will have to watch both his kids being brought up in more impoverished conditions than if he sorted his act out and stayed.

He lost any say in what happens in your pregnancy the moment he walked out the door. Now the decision is just yours. Do not let him dictate to you what you can and can't do. If you want your baby then you can have it and he will have to pay the baby maintenance once it's born. It sounds like he'd rather his baby was killed so he has to pay less money in maintenance. He is absolutely scum. If you only bought house in November it can't be sold for a minimum of 6 months from purchase date. No one would get a mortgage on it. Your 3 years old will almost be at school once your baby is born. You will cope. If you are not working ATM you can claim UC. I hope you have supportive family and friends but if not you can make new friends at parent and baby groups.

He doesn’t want you to keep the baby because if you go to court and the judge hears what an arse he is the judge may say you don’t have to sell the house for a while until you are settled with the baby and feel emotionally able to move on.

I dont think that works in law

I also agree with others he us shagging someone else
His behaviour is 100% textbook.

Your pregnancy probably contradicts his "we are more like siblings these days" spiel to whoever she is. Its usually someone from work.

i wouldnt waste my time cherchez-ing la femme though.

In your position, i’d keep the baby. Good luck.

Ignore those saying you will have an awful life if you keep the baby.
Phone hmrc / universal credit people...explain the situation then go after a share of the house.

I kept dd and we didnt even have a house. Rented for a bit...now a homeowner with a lovely dh. Dd ( 17) applying to unis to do finance and doing brilliantly. Dd has never met her real dad. His loss.

So the child doesn't matter?

In this instance yes, you are correct.

Surely you understand it’s more harmful to have a child that doesn’t have much chance of a stable home life. This isn’t the place for your hateful agenda.