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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I the only woman in my mid thirties who has 2 dc and doesn’t have that nagging feeling for another?

69 replies

muted9 · 06/01/2026 19:04

I’m 35. Mine are just turned 6 and 2.5, so possibly I’m still in the thick of it all with 2 of them being young, but I know already when they’re a bit older I’m still not going to long for a 3rd. I swear everyone I know says they wish they could have another as it’s their last chance type thing, nope not me! Anyone else?

OP posts:
Rorous · 06/01/2026 19:47

I have a 2.5 year old and 4 month old, would love a third but the thought of going through pregnancy, labour and delivery again terrifies me so been telling myself Im done! I’m 34, and now wondering whether I’ll be one of those who have their third late 30’s early 40’s!!!

SALaw · 06/01/2026 19:48

Obviously not otherwise there wouldn’t be so many families with 2 children.

LilyCanna · 06/01/2026 19:49

My youngest (born in my mid-30s) is now 12. I’m very happy with two and never wanted a third. I’ve had actual nightmares where I somehow gave birth to a third baby. Very relieved to wake up each time.

SayDoWhatNow · 06/01/2026 19:50

I'm done at 2 - age 37 with a 3yo + baby. Maybe if I was 5 years younger I would be more wistful about a 3rd, but getting and staying pregnant with DD was tough. I'm so grateful for my 2 little people and I just want to enjoy them while they are small.

danglethedingle · 06/01/2026 19:51

I resisted the temptation, we couldn't afford it, we would have had to move to a bigger house and I loved our little cottage, and get a bigger unparkable car. I also have a thing about odd numbers, they set my teeth on edge. I know that if I had had three I would've wanted a fourth to even things up.

pennepicanto · 06/01/2026 19:52

no! I'm 33 with a 6 and 2.5yo and know I'm completely done. I don't have that urge like I had before I had my youngest, that feeling when you hold someone else's baby and ache for another of your own. I held my new nephew a few months ago and didn't feel anything other than love for him.
DH also had the snip just before Christmas and I thought on the day I'd feel devastated but I didn't at all.
im enjoying my two at the ages they are just now and am just trying to enjoy the toddler stage as much as possible because as relentless as it is I know from experience it will be over in a flash.

WellMaybeYouShouldntBeLivingHeeeeeeee · 06/01/2026 19:53

SALaw · 06/01/2026 19:48

Obviously not otherwise there wouldn’t be so many families with 2 children.

I mean, you’re right, but I think some people tell themselves that we would all be having more than two if only we could, or if we dared, or if we were goddessy enough, or something.

OhMehGoddess · 06/01/2026 19:55

I have know for a few years def no more. I have an older teen and a soon to be double figures younger one. I’m am nearer to mid 40’s and am super pleased very little ovulation now. No twinge for any more at all.

Overthebow · 06/01/2026 19:55

I’m late 30s, 2 DCs and don’t want a 3rd. I also didn’t want to have an only child, 2 is perfect for me.

Lmnop22 · 06/01/2026 19:56

Nope I have a 6 and almost 2 year old and I am done done done!

EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/01/2026 19:57

No, I had my 2nd and last child at 35. I knew it was my last one and I have no regrets.

Greengagesnfennel · 06/01/2026 19:58

I think you are too young to have hit the irrational pangs yet.
I got them in v late 40’s so knew they were hormone madness!

(2 kids by 36 so similar to you otherwise)

SilentAndQuietLight · 06/01/2026 20:02

I'm mid-thirties with two secondary school age, and I would sooner eat my own foot. I'm so tired.

DappledThings · 06/01/2026 20:05

Never wanted a third. No desire to be outnumbered, to need a bigger car, to make kids share rooms, to not fit into one hotel room or get a standard family ticket to places or have to split two adults into three children to try and get everyone to various activities.

JanglingJessica · 06/01/2026 20:06

Mine are 14 and 12, I'm 35.

100% done. The idea of having any more at this point just seems off putting and almost a bit laughable (for me); I feel very far away from that now. I work primarily in Early Years and while I love working with little kids, only having them there for 35 hours a week is great!

Heidi2018 · 06/01/2026 20:11

We discussed having 2 and only 2 before we started trying for our 2nd baby. Definitely happy with 2 and have no desire for more. Now if only everyone around us would fuck off trying to tell us they know us better than we know ourselves and that we do actually want a 3rd! 🙄🙄🙄

Echobelly · 06/01/2026 20:17

No, I was two and done at 34. The childcare fees were just crushing and I didn't want to spend another few years in that. Plus we had got pretty lucky with both of ours being quite 'easy' babies who slept well and toddlers who didn't tantrum (not claiming any credit for this, just lucky) and a third child would seem like tempting fate. If we'd had a lot more money I would have had a third, but we didn't so I was totally fine with stopping there.

user1476613140 · 06/01/2026 20:29

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Yemfbsiak · 06/01/2026 20:29

I’m 37 and I have three. I’d love a fourth. Most of my same-age friends either have one or two though, so I think your feelings on the matter are more typical than mine!

OhDear111 · 06/01/2026 20:33

Given that the birth rate is falling, obviously not. It’s now 1.41 dc average fertility rate in England and Wales, 1.25 in Scotland. So there must be vast numbers only having one dc. Maybe everyone is suppressing wanting more dc but I think practical and financial needs are dictating family size and not what women feel they would like in terms of dc. Having a nice life with more money is overriding the thought of larger families .

Thepeopleversuswork · 06/01/2026 20:34

I didn’t even want two. I have never been able to relate to these people who have desperate, life destroying urges for more children. Makes absolutely no sense to me.

icecoldjan · 06/01/2026 20:38

ManyPigeons · 06/01/2026 19:10

All my mum friends have been one and done 😂

This has been my experience too: it makes parenting two children surprisingly lonely.

neverbeenskiing · 06/01/2026 20:38

God no! Very happy with two, DH and I both knew we didn't want a third and have no regrets whatsoever.

Peachee · 06/01/2026 20:40

Nope, you’re not alone. I absolutely do NOT want another for various reasons - financial stability is at an all time low, my husbands a cheater soo.. that’s it for me.. making the best of what I have and putting myself first for a bit.

Namechangetoday812 · 06/01/2026 20:42

Nope, you're not the only one! Am early 40s with 9 and 7 year olds and can safely say I have never had the urge for another.

It's weird, I was actually a bit on the fence before having our first (DH was more keen), but then I got insanely broody for number two. Then thankfully nothing!

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