Find playing with my toddler so hard / boring

[Cashmeresocksandpjs]

I have a 14 month old and am a SAHM - I love doing toddler classes with him, going swimming, basically being out and about but I find it so hard playing with him and his toys indoors. And I feel so guilty for saying that !

I just really struggle to know how to play with him, I try and describe the colors and shapes of his toys but that’s as much as I can think of and then I feel like time just drags by. His attention span is terrible too which doesn’t help !! I’ve bought activity cards for ideas since he was 3 months old but the activities either don’t hold his attention or seem to advance for him. He’s also not quite ready for crafts yet.

Just wondering if has got any ideas ? My mum said it’s really important to keep talking to him & engage but I just feel rubbish at it as all my mum friends work full time so their little ones get plenty of play and activities at nursery.

You’re not alone I hate/d playing!! Save the craft/ sensory type activities for when they’re bigger. Mine only got into them at about 2.5/3 and still had the attention span of a gnat 😅

Classes and playgroups were what I found most fun like you when they were little, then parks and playgrounds as they got more physically able. Taking them with you too, they’re not old enough to find the supermarket, a walk or post office etc boring yet so take advantage haha. I found it super draining when they were tiny, enjoyed parenting so much more from 18 months - 2 upwards

I feel your pain! I found the baby and toddler age incredibly boring and repetitive and it didn't improve until they started at what was kindergarten. Once I had a bit of a break each day, I enjoyed interacting with them more - perhaps some of us aren't cut out to be SAHM to toddlers but come into our own when when there's some chat and they're more responsive 💐

@sheenaWild thank you - sorry to hear you felt the same but it does make me feel better. All I see on Instagram are toddlers doing really cool activities that mums have set up but my little boy is just not interested !

Playing with young children is boring but I went back to work when my DC were 1 so I wasn't parenting that way 24/7 and I wouldn't choose to be a SAHM as I would be bored.

If your toddler has another parent, goes to nursery (or will go to nursery) or plays at toddler clubs, I wouldn't worry about it too much and just focus on what you can do and what you enjoy. I absolutely sucked at imaginary play so I just didn't do it. You don't need to play and do activities all the time. Stick to your strengths. I also found the 'narrating' and engaging difficult but I kept that up and felt it really paid off.

At 14 months I mainly remember going out a lot, going to the library, looking at books and flashcards, and playing with sand and other quite messy things. Ultimately you can't be and do all things so don't beat yourself up!

YANBU, I have 2 kids (7 and 3) and I love reading to them, playing with them in the park, doing some craft activities, going for walks, puddle jumping, going to museums and libraries - I DO NOT like bloody ‘floor play’. Tedious, dull, and I can never seem to get it right for their exacting standards. So I stopped. They play alone now or together. Apparently parents getting on the floor and playing with their kids is a new phenomenon and not even developmentally beneficial to them.

It can be dull but there are things that even at his age you can do- for example make play dough, he can 'help' with chores e.g. put clothes in the laundry machine. Let him muck about with finger paints?

It is dull but having some fun music you both enjoy?

Re constantly engaging him: I have read the opposite - if they're playing nicely by themselves, leave them to it. Don't interfere as they need to learn to play etc. This is the stance I have taken and at 16 months he is excellent at playing by himself. I'm still there to supervise but I'm not constantly playing with him, that would do my head in.

I do talk to him throughout the day but I think it's important to leave them to it too. And frankly, my head would hurt if someone was constantly talking at me. And I don't want to create a kid who still needs me to play with him age 7.

We are also outside A LOT. I'm not an indoor person and neither is my toddler. Ever since he was a newborn, if he was whingeing, I would take him outside.

I find if we are not out for a good 2 hours in the morning and at a minimum another 2 hours in the afternoon, his behaviour goes downhill.

Outside air + exercise = angel toddler
Indoors too much = tantrums

I hear you. I got through this period by reading lots of board books to my daughters and doing silly voices from time to time, which made them laugh cute baby laughs. Also, sometimes kids that age are entertained just by going to new places and seeing new things. Hang in there! 🙂

Oh also, when it was particularly draining, the bath is a lifesaver. Bath toys, bath crayons, foam letters etc. My daughter would happily splash around in a bath for ages.

I also bought a toddler tower. Our kitchen is tiny so I took ages to decide if it's worth it but OMG. It is the best thing I ever bought. He loves playing and colouring while I cook. I also get him to help e.g. I chop potatoes and he throws them in the pan. Or I give him a bowl of dry pasta and he throws it in the pan as well.

It gets easier as they get older, when they start playing imaginatively I found you can basically just sit there and they tell you what you are and aren't allowed to do 😂

I also love putting Lego sets together and they usually start liking that around 4 or 5ish.

When they're tiny like that I found just being really daft works, like putting blocks on your head, crawling round the floor pretending to be a cat or whatever. Start trying to engage them in longer stretches like shape sorters and that type of thing and just be really over enthusiastic "oh wow look at this red square! Let's see where it goes, oops not that one! How about here?" with lots of gasps and "wow!" etc.

It does get boring and mind numbing though, it doesn't last forever though.

I was so surprised I found this hard too, as I seemed to have oodles of energy and gusto for playing with family kids in my teens and 20s!

At that age I did the same, classes and clubs (sabm mum too til he's nursery age), and at home did some playing but got him involved in what I was doing too. Toddler tower was great for that, while while cook he washed the recycling and made a mess in the sink, or he helped push Henry around when I hoovered etc 😅 he's 2.5 now and I can't get anything done tbh without him wanting to play now so we go out alot!

I don't think you have to play all the time - it's important they learn to entertain themselves.

I try to do 10-15 minutes deep connection time where they have all my attention, and then do a task I want / have to do and cycle it that way.

I also pick things I like instead of them, and fold them in as much as I can. I love time outside, gardening, walks and going to coffee shops so we do a lot of that! Parenting outside of the house is 100% less tedious.

If you have a sand and water table in the summer you'll get so much time to yourself while they're engrossed - they're like the Ms Rachel of outdoor toys.

Plus they help me a lot, and I just accept those jobs will take longer. E.g. laundry, unloading the dishwasher.

Agree with this, I would do a short period of playing with them, say 15 minutes and then I'd go off and do a job or whatever and they'd amuse themselves with whatever toys we'd been playing with. Fosters their imagination.

I hated playing too. No way could I have been a SAHP.

How many seconds of ‘play’ on insta are they doing. 30?? It’s all shite 😂 few little activities and get them to help with jobs then activity etc. I get you I find it hard too

God I still remember when my dd was around 2, it was February and I had a horrible head cold and morning sickness and fatigue. Awful combination. She's 30 now but that relentless feeling...trying to make play for hours

Just try and have fun with him. Do silly dances, sing lots of songs, funny faces, peek a boo. It doesn't need to be constant interaction either. Commentary on what you are both doing may seem dull but it is good for language development.

Oh God it's incredibly boring.

It does get better I promise.

As others have said, don't feel obliged to do it constantly. You will be doing him an enormous favour if you enable him to build up the resilience to entertain himself for certain periods of time ....

It is difficult. I played Lego with my little one (I'd loved it as a child too), we'd happily build random stuff alongside each other, rather than have to actually play imaginative things together. I praised their efforts and they learnt by seeing mine. Sometimes we built a big thing together, a haunted house was a favourite one. He later (8+) moved to YouTube tutorials and built some great secret box things. Later again he did stop motion with Lego. He's 15 now and still has a deep love of Lego.
Find something you both enjoy that you can bond over is my advice. Singing, colouring, games, blowing bubbles, anything. My middle one loved any practical experiment type thing - cut the bottom off a plastic bottle, cover with an old sock and elastic band, dip in washing up liquid water and blow a tube of foam bubbles! Just don't choose a smelly sock 🤢

I checked out photos of when my DD was that age. She went to nursery part time. They did a lot of shorting shapes and colours in tubs. At home we had a mini ball pit.

I also found that age hard to entertain. We were out more I think on walks and sitting around parks.

Yes absolutely not all the time. Playing safely independently is vital. The lego was always supervised 3-7 years due to his own age and younger siblings.
We also had Duplo or similar large bricks, I just re read his age so that would be more appropriate and just as fun. Big towers, knocking them down.

See these are really well meaning suggestions but truly, my kids must be broken as any kind of ‘paints’ or ‘felt tips’ create such a mess (after having only entertained them for 5 minutes) that it simply isn’t worth it. Sure they would throw clothes in the washing machine but that’s 20 seconds, at most. Basically all home play is hideous until age 4 or 5 at least, just ends in tears, destruction and vast swathes of time to fill.

For reference my toddler drew on my sofa with a black felt tip earlier, I have fuck all idea how he managed it as I supervised him and put them away after. How did it even happen?!