Find playing with my toddler so hard / boring

[Cashmeresocksandpjs]

I have a 14 month old and am a SAHM - I love doing toddler classes with him, going swimming, basically being out and about but I find it so hard playing with him and his toys indoors. And I feel so guilty for saying that !

I just really struggle to know how to play with him, I try and describe the colors and shapes of his toys but that’s as much as I can think of and then I feel like time just drags by. His attention span is terrible too which doesn’t help !! I’ve bought activity cards for ideas since he was 3 months old but the activities either don’t hold his attention or seem to advance for him. He’s also not quite ready for crafts yet.

Just wondering if has got any ideas ? My mum said it’s really important to keep talking to him & engage but I just feel rubbish at it as all my mum friends work full time so their little ones get plenty of play and activities at nursery.

I always had an AirPod in playing talk radio or a podcast. It helped massively.

You're not alone. I loved my babies so much but found dark winter days stuck indoors soooooooooo boring. I got out as much as possible and sometimes counted down the hours until DH would get home. But it got easier. And now she's bigger we genuinely have so much fun together. I love hanging out with her now, she has developed a funny, sharp personality and those boring days really Re a distant memory.

Thank you everyone - some good tips here! Think I’ve been going wrong by feeling like I need to play with him constantly and then rushing round like mad trying to fit all the housework in while he naps!

im going to try doing 15 mins fully focussed work him then doing some chores alongside him and see how that goes !

seconding another commenter with the helping - sounds crazy but between 18 months & 2 years mine loved helping: emptying the dishwasher with you (?!) as long as you’re quick with the breakables, putting away cutlery with the toddler tower, setting the table, emptying/ loading the washing/ tumble dryer, making dinner in their toy kitchen or playing with pasta in a saucepan, washing up in their toy sink, chopping old ends of veg while I was prepping, getting things to play with out of the utensils drawer, putting lightweight things in the microwave with the toddler tower & walking the dog with a parent also holding the lead :) good for putting boundaries in place like only getting X amount of things out of the drawer and stop that’s hot/ sharp etc.

The best things I have in the kitchen mine now a bit older are the toddler tower, a wall painting whiteboard and a flisat table and chairs with a kitchen cupboard of craft stuff. All other toys in bedroom or living room (climbing ladder that turns into a pikler, dolls house, rocking horse, train table, toy kitchen, doll cot & pram, chest of duplo & a 6 box kallax) then books in every room.

i refused to do housework during precious naps haha, I’d have rather put them in a carrier while I did stuff as an absolute last resort. Do recommend a cleaner once a fortnight/ month and a robot hoover though haha 😝 I’m not a SAHM though, I work 3 full days & the equivalent of 1 full night, but even if I was if I could afford it the cleaners are one of the best things we pay for!

I lasted four and five months. Over 20 years ago and never a single regret.

It is boring.

I’m glad I had only a very basic smartphone back then as I fear I would have succumbed to the temptation to be on my phone a lot.

Radio on in the background is good. I used to put on a film that I wanted to watch as background to playing as well.

Other than that just break it up with lots of walks, shops, chores and find lots of baby groups or other nearby mums so your toddler can play with other toddlers.

You’re not unreasonable at all. It can be truly tedious. We had kids quite close to each other in age which helped! Just do what you’re good at/ enjoy? I hate playing - love reading. Hate boardgames- love gardening with them. If you’re not enjoying- they can sense it and it won’t feel natural. Give yourself a break and relax about it. I used to set up activities but then they’d like taking the saucepans out of the cupboard and putting them back again! Social Media is putting stupid amounts of pressure on young mums- its awful. You cannot entertain always- that would be unfair on you and kid. Concentrate on just ‘being’ x

Girl.... Get some balloons

Seriously... hours and hours of entertainment.

• you can blow them up then let them fly about the room.
• You can tie a.knot and use them as balls
• You can throw them kick them chase them
• Playing piggy in the middle.

Hours of fun that doesnt involve boringly narrating things.

I sometimes did a bath randomly in the day it kills 60-90mins. They just potter about all thry need are stacky cups

Housework...
We also "play" loading the washing machine (one sock at a time 😅) and unloading plastic cutlery from the dishwasher....

Putting things into things...
Building blocks i like... we have a dinosaur set so they come regularly to destroy the town.
I also play a game where I see how high I can build it quickly before my little hulk smash! knocks over my tower....

Development between now amd 18m /24m is crazyyyyy it gets much easier around 18m

Your experience is very common.

At 14 months they definitely can play alone for a while and mine was into scenario games like dinner sets and noah's ark.
It's a bit early for crafts.
I currently have another little one just a nig younger and they like musical instruments.

These are great ideas…and good to train him up to not be a useless man one day lol.

We just got him a play kitchen so I will definitely try getting him to ‘help’ while I’m making dinner etc

@SalmonOnFinnCrisp ohh love that idea! Thank you x

I have a 14 month old little boy too and he absolutely wouldnt sit for activities like you describe either! He does like to play with his blocks/cups, building and says "up!" Both with me and alone and he will flick through books alone (and rip out pages/flaps...) He brings me books constantly so we do read a lot, though he tends to wander off very quickly!

I try and incorporate him in my jobs, even though it is painful and doesnt always work, ie im trying to clean the kitchen while he empties and stacks up my tins and climbs upstairs with my sweeping brush. But I do always relax when he naps, always. Im a single parents and his nap saves me!

I sometimes do sit on the floor and focus all my attention to him (a few times a day), other times I sit on the sofa with a coffee and chat to him/play with him if he comes over but try to leave him to it a bit (a few times a day).

He absolutely loves popping bubbles so I blow them regularly and I also second a balloon, that provides lots of entertainment as does a ball.

I do find it boring sometimes too and I am going to read this thread for other ideas!

Yep I do find myself heading to my phone too often so keep having to leave it in the other room.

We do lots in the mornings, it’s just the afternoons that can be a drag. Definitely going to try getting him ‘helping’ me in chores

I found having the radio on made me feel less lonely at this stage and make everything much easier.

Agree with all of this.

My three are 4, 2 and 9 months and I genuinely think that they need a little bit of benign neglect unstructured play, so that they can figure out how to use their own imaginations and not become the kind of children who complain constantly about being bored if there isn’t a child-centric activity being run for them!

If I have a few chores to do, I just let the baby watch or play with toys in the bathroom or kitchen alongside me. They can roam around whilst I do laundry, or play with pots whilst I’m cooking. I always chat to them as I go, but I don’t break my back trying to make it 100% about them. I also (selfishly?) like to do plenty of activities that I like, such as going for a walk or a coffee - they just come along and we see some new stuff and we chat. Big ones have always done the same, and are used to it so now we might do colouring or a board game whilst at a cafe, then a trip to the park (fully agree that outdoors parenting beats indoor). This has proved great because the big ones now like these activities too and so we all have a nice time, instead of me providing them with days out that I dislike. Win-win.

I don’t mind doing a bit of playing in the afternoon before we have dinner, but I’m generally just led by them. Agree with PP that this gets a lot easier and more fun from about 18m.

I have a toddler and a 6 yo.

i don’t play. I do get the toddler involved with cleaning (he joins in with a cloth, or his own hoover). I read them loads of books, play board games and do activities with the older kid.

i sprinkle bits of 1-1 attention throughout the day with the younger one. We might look out the window and chat about what we see, I might get a load of cars out and line them up and then go on to do something else. Or attempt a puzzle with him.

to be honest, I spend most of the day tidying up and making food/snacks 🤣

i don’t ever sit “playing” for extended time really.

however, my husband does with my eldest. But I just can’t…

I love this thread. I felt such guilt even thinking this but it's refreshing to see others in the same boat. My dd is only 9 months but entertaining her is full on and I feel I'm not doing enough sometimes. 🥰

@Ella31 its so hard isn’t it as I do feel bad about it ! Hopefully it will get easier !