To give myself box room?

[freshstartere]

My marriage broke down a couple of years ago, exh was emotionally/psychologically abusive and I can't see myself ever wanting to be in a relationship again. I just have zero interest. I am still reasonable young - early 30s.

The kids are with me 90% of the time and we have 3 bedrooms, one large, one medium, one small. I was planning on redecorating their rooms this year as they're getting older and it occurred to me why am I in my room? I don't do anything in there except sleep and they would really benefit from being bumped up a room size so DD2 from box room to medium, DD1 from medium to large.

I can't think of any reason not to except it goes against the norm?

My friends have re-shuffled bedrooms every couple of years according to who is at home eg when the inhabitant of the biggest room went to university, when one child came home from uni with a husband...

My kids have all swapped rooms over the years as they've moved away and then moved back

I have done just that over Christmas but for slightly different reasons. I have a two bed house with a lounge and dining room downstairs and I lived in the dining room changed in to a bedroom for 10 years.

However, my son has become unwell needing me to be close overnight, so I am now in the upstairs box room opposite his room which is the biggest in the house. I have painted it soft pink, have a small double bed, cute bedding and some clever storage and it is a cosy and lovely space. Not ideal circumstances but it was better this way for my peace of mind.

I’d say go for it - I’m the same as long as I have a bed and space to put clothes all good

EXCEPT - why does DD1 need the biggest room?! I hate this the eldest gets the biggest and best stuff - they didn’t choose their birth order so she stays in her room and Dc2 has to e biggest and you say as they have had the smallest for x amount of years they now get the biggest room

I was looking to see if someone said this ..my sister did this and it destroyed the family dynamics her 2 daughters treated her with huge disrespect in the time afterwards

If you go for it I would make sure the kids understand that they do not “own” that room, and the rooms could be changed at different points. Is it fair that the oldest one automatically gets the bigger room? Would it be fairer to offer the option of changing rooms every year? What would you do if they’re still both living at home in their twenties? Would be happy to still be in a box room then? Not saying don’t do it, but I also think it’s important for kids to know they are part of a family, not the star of the show all the time.

My friend gave her teenager the biggest room as he had more things, sports equipment and tech to store. More space when his mates come round.

She has the middle room and her youngest has the box room.

She did it that way around because her youngest still is her shadow and spends more time following her around chatting away so doesn't spend that much time in her own room anyway!

It works really well I think, especially if it means the two siblings have more evenly-matched sized rooms. Can a small double fit in? I definitely wanted that rather than a single bed, and it worked really well.

I'm racking my brains to work out and understand why children would lose respect for their parents due to room sizes?
Surely parents have taught their children respect and to be grateful for what they have?
We made the decision as our room was sitting empty apart from 6-7 hours at night time and one child was always struggling with space in the box room. There was nowhere to sit, apart from in bed. They couldn't have a friend to sleep over as there was no space for even a blow up bed. There was no room for a desk and wardrobe, nowhere to play or keep toys.
My kids know they're the most important people in my life and I'm teaching them that all of us have to sacrifice things sometimes, the children included as they all rotated having the small room. They all feel very lucky that we have done this for them, they look after their rooms and keep them tidy.
If kids are brought up with respect for themselves, others and their possessions, and they know that they're lucky, you shouldn't have any problems at all!

I’ve always given myself the smallest room.

Kids/teens tend to have more stuff and spend more time in their rooms and so it just makes sense.

I doubt that was due to giving them larger rooms and more down to poor parenting.

I’ve always had the smallest room and my DC treat me with nothing but respect.

I did this with my girls for years. It worked so well. They needed the space far more than I did, and it basically made the downstairs my space in the evening.

It's attitude, manners and what rudeness they get away with that change children's manner toward their parent - not the size of the bedroom.

We don't have the largest room now, That's actually the guest room and DH's office. It's the only combined use room so made sense to have it in there. Room size should primarily be relevant to what the room is used for, not who by.

My kids always had the biggest rooms. They entertain friends there and have more stuff than me. Ignore the norms.

It's completely up to you OP

I recently moved into the box room for these reasons. I love it, it's a wee cosy sanctuary and the kids have more space to do things and more space for when their friends are over.

Give DD2 the biggest room and DD1 stays where she is. That's what I did when we got an extra bedroom, youngest had been in the box room for years so got the biggest room and oldest stayed put.

I agree.

I personally think that it is a good idea, snug and cozy.
My friend has 5 children, the adult’s leaves clothes etc in the larger room wardrobe, they sleep in the box room.

It worked for me but make sure they realise you'll be moving back into the bigger room once they move on! Mine fully expected the big room to be made available for any occasional weekend visits!!

I’ve done this before. I love a box room. So cosy!

I think it’s a good idea- how much time do you spend in your bedroom? But I wouldn’t want to go back to sleeping in a single bed though!

I have a part-time lodger. She has the biggest room, which also has quite a bit of stuff in it (my bicycle and tools), and I have the smaller, quieter one at the back of the house.

Do whatever you think works best for you and the others involved.

In my box room I can fit a double bed and chest of drawers. I have banged my shin on the wooden bed frame a few times because I keep forgetting how close it is to the door, though!

I’ve done this, single mum my teen daughter has the big bedroom and I have the box room. I have a day bed and a clothes rail on wheels, as long as I have somewhere to sleep I’m happy to be honest !!

I wouldn't want to go back to a single bed at my age, with my clothes stored elsewhere in the house. It also gives the children a message that their wants always come first. I would get some clever furniture for the box room which gives DD space for sleepovers and play/study, and if necessary a bit of extra space downstairs for a desk or whatever.

No. I think it would be implying that they are of more importance than you. I know when I was young all my friends would have thought this very weird and would have made me embarrassed to have friends over. If the kids have a box room they can still have people for sleepovers - they can just make up a bed on the floor.