AIBU to ask ex to have the children on his two days off work

[NewYearsEve2025]

I’ve been split from my ex for 6 months and he has been having the children on one of his days off from work. He works full time and I am a stay at home mum to our 3 children (11, 9 & 2) with additional needs. I asked him yesterday to start having them on both of his days off from January so I can work on those two days but he says I’m being unreasonable because he should get one day a week to himself to do his hobbies or whatever and because I work for myself from home “it’s not really working” and apparently I get loads of time to myself which is laughable to be honest because our 2 year of is almost surgically attached to me and screams if left alone.

I’ve said I’m not stopping him from having days to himself but he will just need to sort childcare on those days instead of expecting me to be free childcare.

am I being unreasonable to expect him to step up and do this?

Exactly this.

Just because Dad should this, and Dad should that, isn't any kind of point.

Dad doesn't. And instead of navel gazing, and pretending this is the only possible way to be able to work just 2 days a week, there's a blatant solution that millions of people across the country use. OP glosses over that she gets free nursery hours and the ones after that she only pays £15 for every £100 she "spends".

My auntie didn't work Fridays, and when cousin "A" had a baby, auntie had the child every Friday so A could work. 8yrs later, cousin "B" then had a baby. Auntie couldn't have her baby on top of the school runs she was already doing for A's child and had been for the last 4yrs. B declared she couldn't get a job because she had no childcare. What she meant was, she would have to pay something towards her childcare, and refused to, because it wasn't fair that other people got it for free.

The entitlement applies for 16 hours work at minimum wage or above the op is self employed so can work around childcare hours. Stretched funding is around 22 hours a week. Most childminders in my experience dont charge extra for under 2s. The op could continue working as she does now then once childcare starts....which if she had her act together could have been from January 1st...increase her hours or just do her work in the childcare hours leaving time for thr children. Then anything the useless dad does is a bonus and shes not screwed when he lets his kids down.