Embarrassed to be English

[Traballi]

Got ancestry results back recently and apparently I'm 98% English, tiny bit of Irish but not even Scottish or Welsh. It wasn't a surprise as already looked into family history and been here for centuries.

I'm actually embarrassed of my English lineage to be honest. What's there to be proud of with our appalling history of colonialism and more recent dallyings with the far right and flag shagging?

I see the British flag up where I live and I honestly cringe. I'm also married to someone who is from a country we have a history of conflict with too so that doesnt help although DH doesnt hate us excessively (won't name country in case outing but with our history of wars/ conflict/ invasion, it could be dozens of places lets be frank)

I guess I've had a different perspective on Englishness over many years through the people I know from overseas and I speak other languages too. I also went to a Catholic school (in England) which taught us about slavery and what happened in Northern Ireland. None of which was nice about the English (teacher was Irish). I'm grateful for these perspectives though as I wouldn't want to be brainwashed into being a blind patriot.

I have friends with strong Irish and Welsh roots and they have a real sense of identity to hold onto with it, ancestral languages that they're interested in and a feeling a pride.

If you're English, it's hard to feel like that unless you're in Tommy or Nige's crew, which makes me even less inclined towards patriotism tbh.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's a bit sad really. I'd love to at least be half something else to cling to that identity instead and ignore the English but.

Luckily my DC is only half English and has two other nationalities through DH, and is being brought up in Wales so will probably feel more Welsh. I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead.

AiBU or do others feel like this? Being English just isn't cool.

Well, quite.

If England is so shameful, embarrassing and despicable a country why are so many people desperate to come here and stay? I'd like to hear OP'S in laws reasoning to this.

Boils my piss.

You should most definitely cut all ties with England. Learn a different language. Take up citizenship someplace far far away. I’m sure you’ll be missed but we will most definitely move on!

Good luck!

I'm British/English and proud of my culture and my country. I have a lot of Irish friends and none of them hate us.
You're being ridiculous.
Most people just get on with their lives and are not interested in your (or my) heritage.

I’m half English and half of a former colony. Im very happy to be part English.

Of all the crazy shit going on in the non-English country I’m from, people are still proud to be from there and love their country. And that goes for basically every other country in the world - people dont carry this bizarre shame to show how not racist they are.

I find the anti-English (and white self-hate) is absolutely embarrassing.

If you genuinely want to learn more about slavery and colonialism etc., why not read a book about it and actually learn? Either fiction, classic literature, or history.

Life's too short for this bullshit, OP.

Live your life, be a good person, reject fascism, help the vulnerable, raise your kids right. Be the change you wanna see.

Looking back and being actively embarrassed about something you can't control or help is ridiculous and counterproductive. More than that, you're being a dick - a huge portion of English people are good, decent human beings. I'm sure you know some. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater, much?

Shut up you prat.

Jesus.

Are you Catholic OP? What is it with Catholic people and self hatred? I think it's ingrained in you at school.

It is weird, the Ulster plantation was Scottish not English. A lot of the rebels who fought the British were decedents of English. I think it’s the schooling system in Ireland is utterly based on this national myth that they double down on. Really odd for a modern western country, it’s like the UK in the 1920s

😆 🤣 😂 😹

This is an interesting article on the abolition of slavery

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/feb/11/lets-end-delusion-britain-abolished-slavery

If you speak foreign languages you'll soon see that many Europeans spout similar nonsense. The only difference is that they weren't stupid enough to advocate for leaving the EU!

But whatever people say, geography DOES matter - Britain is an island, and people in the UK will always feel differently about their history and place in the world to people in continental Europe. When you can cross over borders as easily as walking down the street it is completely different to needing to get an aeroplane/train/ferry. And our borders have been set for centuries and the last successful invasion was in 1066.

Is there a reason you’re showing so much contempt for the Irish in this thread?

I agree @Traballi. In theory, it should be easy to be proud. I love the multicultural, mixed-upness of the UK, with Indian food as our favourite and our wide ranging literature and arts.

But being English comes with the racists, the right-wing and the terrible reputation overseas (have lived overseas in a few places and at least half assume that the Brits are binge drinking louts).

YABU

You are not to blame for colonialism.
Nobody living on earth right now is to blame for colonialism.
Spain, France, Portugal, Belgium, Italy (and more) all have history with colonialism. Not just the UK.

England isn’t the only country who has its people holding right-wing ideologies, “flag shaggers” and “roundabout painting” racists. Have a look at Sweden, Poland, Hungary, Czech Republic and their right-wing cultures.

Being English is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. You can totally be ashamed of poor actions by people, but being ashamed and embarrassed to be a certain ethnicity? Grow up.

🤣😂 You win!

The Guardian, nice British embracing publication 😆 🤣 😂

Yes. I'm an English Catholic, only went to Catholic school.

You make a good point, it is a bit ingrained

If they are “not big fans of the English”, why did they move here, and why did he marry you? Did he, like you, assume you weren’t entirely English?

If they are “not big fans of the English”, why did they move here, and why did he marry you? Did he, like you, assume you weren’t entirely English?

No other country has racists then? I don't recall seeing you on the thread about a racist extremist being welcomed into the country by Starmer. The racist isn't white English so I guess that puts an end to your outrage. Pathetic.

Yeah I noticed that too @blankcanvas3. Nice dig at our educational system too.

I was just going to drift past this with rolled eyes but you've made me cross.....for a start the bad stuff in history is not solely down to the English (many of whom were slightly French anyway) do your research into the British Empire and slavery and you will see that there is a lot of Scottish input. And most of the Irish people I have met can separate the past from the present and don't "hate" the English. Unless you are sitting on a large fortune derived from slavery I suggest you get over yourself and work at getting the Englishness back from farage and his mates...

Iran is nice at this time of year, or how about Russia.

This is one of the most profoundly depressing posts I've seen on Mumsnet. Oppression and colonialism, that's the only thing about England that OP knows about? Not the Industrial Revolution? The Magna Carta? The abolition of slavery? The Chartists? What does this say about education in this country?

Perhaps OP would like to read about the history of the Spanish adventures in the Americas, or their treatment of the Flemish people, or how about the horrors of Belgian Congo. What about the Nazis? North Korea, China, Stalin's Soviet Union. It might put a few things in perspective.

But no, apparently England was uniquely awful. Frankly I'm embarrassed that OP is English too.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

How about you get on with your life and look at the positives, we have a fantastic history of innovation and inventions to be proud of. Stop being such a wet sponge