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Original poster

Missing your adult “children “!

76 replies

Sahara123 · 29/12/2025 12:23

In about an hour I’ll be dropping my adult daughter at the train station after the Christmas break and as usual I’m so sad ! She drives me a bit nuts, as with the other thread her rooms a mess, she’s quite opinionated but she’s funny and a fabulous young woman and I miss the very bones of her !
I’ll put her on the train and then hide in my scarf as a few tears fall . Does it ever get any easier!!

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 29/12/2025 17:27

Yes I know how you feel. Uni son is still here for a couple of weeks and I will miss him when he goes back. Older son moved out last year and lives with his gf. I’m glad he’s happy but I miss him too. I live alone so my only consolation is my food and utility bills will go back down. I really enjoy living with my sons so it has taken some adjustment to being an empty nester.

Twodogsisbetterthanone · 29/12/2025 17:28

I absolutely hate the fact that one of mine is thousands of miles away, but I’m happy I’ve raised them all to be independent. One lives half an hour away so we see him more often.

Flidina · 29/12/2025 17:29

My son lives down south ane we're in the North, he's a teacher so really only comes home twice a year, but I always feel a bit sad when he goes home, however he is looking to move up North in the near future .

Christmaseree · 29/12/2025 17:31

Mine haven’t gone yet, the two youngest went to uni and are firmly back home now. The mid 30’s one lives 10 minutes away and constantly messages me.

BunnyLake · 29/12/2025 17:34

Ducksurprise · 29/12/2025 13:16

No, sorry it doesn't get easier, I agree with all the above.

MN doesn't look kindly on people like me, but I miss them as adults but I long for them as children. I would give so much to be able to go back to when they were small, even just for a day.

I am not generally soft in real life, but the moments of parting always make me cry.

But we are so lucky to feel like this, and I tell my kids that all the time.

I don’t normally wish they were young again but you saying that has made me think how wonderful it would be to spend a day with them again when they were about four. No tantrums though, just lots of sweet cuddles and hearing those high pitched childish voices call me mummy again. I do find life much easier now that they are gruff voiced six footers 😁

Holluschickie · 29/12/2025 17:36

Ducksurprise · 29/12/2025 13:16

No, sorry it doesn't get easier, I agree with all the above.

MN doesn't look kindly on people like me, but I miss them as adults but I long for them as children. I would give so much to be able to go back to when they were small, even just for a day.

I am not generally soft in real life, but the moments of parting always make me cry.

But we are so lucky to feel like this, and I tell my kids that all the time.

I think that's quite normal. Indeed all the feelings on this thread are very understandable.
I recommend a creative pursuit to keep yourself very busy.

chisping · 29/12/2025 17:36

AliceAbsolum · 29/12/2025 13:26

My DD is 3 and I'm dreading this already! She's full on but I can't imagine her just not being here all the time.

Yes. I missed them when they moved from my room to their own room at six months. I missed them when they started school.
I missed them most of all when they started uni, that was hard. They bounced back and forth for a few years. One came back to live at home for a few months at 23, that was a bonus.
I look forward to visits although we're no longer used to the mess and chaos. Now I feel flat when they leave after a visit but I'm extremely grateful they still live within a couple of hours and not the other side of the world.

ILoveFoodAndCoffee · 29/12/2025 17:45

We are looking at unis for my DD. I keep telling her we will always be at the end of a phone and only 2ish hours away at the one that is furthest away. But I do well up at the thought of it. I dont tell her obviously!

Conniebygaslight · 29/12/2025 17:47

Sahara123 · 29/12/2025 16:09

I didn’t think it would be just me but it does feel as if we’re not supposed to have these feelings sometimes doesn’t it! I’m hugely proud of the young woman she’s become but it doesn’t stop me missing her. Back from the station now and yes, I feel flat !

I don’t give a shit what feelings I’m allowed to have, I feel as I feel and so do you. I’m happily married,work full time, have nice friends etc but my head is always full of my adult DC and I don’t care what people think about that.

HideousKinky · 29/12/2025 17:56

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 29/12/2025 17:22

I had three of my five over Christmas and it drove me mad having the house full and noisy when it's usually just me and the dog. But as soon as they'd all gone it felt empty and oddly sad. I'm always the same, love seeing them but find the disruption hard and then when they go I miss the hell out of them.

I try to look at the positives and find myself lots of things to do to keep busy. The feeling fades quite quickly (unless my middle DD is over from Oz, and I miss her for a good week after she's gone back).

I agree with this - it is the transition from them being there to being back on your own which feels discombobulating!

But once usual routines are established once again, it's fine

sprigatito · 29/12/2025 18:02

I was sitting here with tears in my eyes after waving off my 23yo and his wonderful partner, when I saw your thread OP! They’ve been here for a week and I’ve loved every minute of it, despite coming down with flu on Boxing Day. It’s so quiet and empty without them 😢 and I know it’s likely we won’t have them next year, as they’ll probably go to his partner’s family (which I fully support, it’s the fairest way, but it’ll be a wrench for me not to have dc1 for the first time).

It may be unreasonable but it’s how we feel! Hugs and commiserations to anyone else feeling wobbly after saying goodbye to adult DC.

SereneCoralExpert · 29/12/2025 18:08

It's MN, so you are supposed to kick your kids and forget about them once they turn 18 at the latest

but back in the real world, it would be a worry not to miss your kids, even adults.

It doesn't mean you don't want them happy, independent, successful and that you wouldn't be delighted for them if they relocated at the other side of the world, (or even that you would want them move back home)

but of course it's normal to miss them.

landlordhell · 29/12/2025 18:10

Just dropped mine off. I always swallow a few tears. It’s lovely to see her but her life has moved in and we’d drive each other mad if we lived together. But it is nice to have the family unit again for a few days

CharlotteByrde · 29/12/2025 18:29

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat yes, I'm exactly the same. It can feel a bit much now when the house is full and I think I am going to enjoy the peace when everyone leaves but as soon as they're gone, the house feels too quiet and I could cry, and sometimes do. But then I give myself a shake and get back into my usual routines. Until next time.
To be honest, I actually enjoy life more now that my kids are lovely adults than I did when they were toddlers and teens. Looking back, I can't believe I coped without losing my mind- feeding them all on a daily basis, doing school runs, ferrying them to parties and to organised activities, while holding down a full-time job, so generally I am fine with them leading independent lives. And I adore being a granny now.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 29/12/2025 18:32

CharlotteByrde · 29/12/2025 18:29

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat yes, I'm exactly the same. It can feel a bit much now when the house is full and I think I am going to enjoy the peace when everyone leaves but as soon as they're gone, the house feels too quiet and I could cry, and sometimes do. But then I give myself a shake and get back into my usual routines. Until next time.
To be honest, I actually enjoy life more now that my kids are lovely adults than I did when they were toddlers and teens. Looking back, I can't believe I coped without losing my mind- feeding them all on a daily basis, doing school runs, ferrying them to parties and to organised activities, while holding down a full-time job, so generally I am fine with them leading independent lives. And I adore being a granny now.

Edited

Ditto. Life was actual hell when they were all young. I am occasionally asked how I managed being a single mum to five and I have to answer that I really can't remember. Now they are all independent, decently earning, home owning adults life is much better! And I fret for my peace and quiet while they're here but, like you, I shed a small tear at how empty and quiet it is when they've gone. But I do find getting straight back into my normal routine helps a lot.

HardworkSendHelp · 29/12/2025 23:46

Mydogisagentleman · 29/12/2025 13:33

Ours went back to where she lives (2 hours away) on 27th.
I adore her, but she's a lazy little bundle of barbed wire.
Pleased to see the back of her, but looking forward to seeing her again in February

Omg I choked on my wine reading that. I am stealing that line. I didn’t send a lazy little bundle of barbed wire to Uni in September but my god I got one home for Christmas 😢🤣.

Ladamesansmerci · 29/12/2025 23:55

My little girl is only 18 months old and I'm already not looking forward to that! I'll be so happy seeing her grow and make her way in life, but in my heart she will always be the baby I carried. I can't imagine when there won't be a time I don't want to see her every day, kiss her lovely face, and hold her close. It truly is like having a bit of your soul walking around outside of your body. I think it's a natural part of motherhood. It's obviously totally natural for children to grow up and be independent, but I don't think you ever lose the instinct that arrives when you have a newborn, to keep them close, safe, and loved.

Sally2791 · 30/12/2025 05:27

Really hate the partings. It doesn’t get any easier! But thank goodness for modern communications. Agree with the above, it’s like a bit of your soul outside your body

isthismylifenow · 30/12/2025 05:53

It's so nice to read a thread to see I'm completely normal in missing my dc.

Mine is in other country as well, and has been going through a tough time. She isn't settling well and I can only be a support from a distance. What i would do to just give her a hug.

And I can't even help with practical things. I even posted here the other day as she had a problem and I didn't know the best way to help or advise her.

Christmas always makes things worse. We will all be okay, but it is also totally okay to not have to hide the fact that, yes they are adults, but we still miss them a whole lot.

SusanSocks · 30/12/2025 06:28

had 3 of them for christmas, unfortunately dm here too which is a double edged sword
great sometimes but tactless and never fails to upset people, even dil this christmas!

Ghostspritz · 30/12/2025 06:42

Totally get it. When my eldest left home every time he visited I was a sad mess for days after. It has got easier with time. Slightly easier with the youngest as he stayed home for longer and lives closer. But it’s hard. Feels like we miss them far more than they miss us. And of course their independence is an achievement and something to be proud of.

landlordhell · 30/12/2025 09:22

Sally2791 · 30/12/2025 05:27

Really hate the partings. It doesn’t get any easier! But thank goodness for modern communications. Agree with the above, it’s like a bit of your soul outside your body

Gosh that is such a good way to put it; a little bit of my soul outside my body. ❤️

landlordhell · 30/12/2025 09:27

Mydogisagentleman · 29/12/2025 13:33

Ours went back to where she lives (2 hours away) on 27th.
I adore her, but she's a lazy little bundle of barbed wire.
Pleased to see the back of her, but looking forward to seeing her again in February

😂😂😂😂😂😂. My DH always uses the Fawlty Towers line “Yes my little piranhia fish.” and our DDs do at least smile and get the gist.

Mornz · 30/12/2025 09:35

Mine are at uni. I don’t tend to miss them that much, because they still feel very much like my children who are at home. Facetime means I speak to my daughter for more one to one long chats when she is away! They come home every holiday and are not yet in established relationships.

For me the bit that will affect me is when they properly settle down and move out for good. The priority will likely be their new partners and families. That for me will feel like the real shift. It is what I want for them completely, but I know it will definitely affect me. I would never show them though of course.

FartyAnimal · 30/12/2025 09:38

I love my son being home, but he moved out 6 years ago now, so I don't actively miss him - just love seeing him.