Hi @AnonSugar @Hiitsmeagain1
How else did she present? Everything you say in your post. Constant movement, never sitting down to watch TV - instead climbing all over the sofa and other furniture whilst watching, or drawing all over her legs with felt tip pens. Or tearing up bits of paper.
Never sitting down for dinner instead always up and down from the table - one bite then twirl around, another bite then run a circuit of the kitchen etc etc.
Rocking back and forth when being ready to or when reading.
Absolutely hellish bedtimes, resisting every single step. And not able to explain why. Finding it so difficult to switch off body and brain for sleep (still a massive challenge, one of us lies with her until she's asleep).
Starting all sorts of craft projects or Lego but screaming and throwing or destroying at the first sign of difficulty. Wanting constant attention - rarely plays alone. Lots of role play with dolls, acting out what happened at school or on a TV show.
Aggressive, violent outbursts at the smallest thing, hitting and kicking us.
'equalising behaviour ' towards older sister, e.g. nudging her when walking into a room where sister is sitting. Going in her room and refusing to leave.
Unable to cope with losing at any game.
Wanting to decide what we play, how we play it, who does what job. Wanting to 'direct'.
'fine' in nursery then school.
How did we get her referred? We ended up going privately. Tried school, tried GP, who believed us but said it's a long wait, can you afford to see someone privately. Initially we just wanted to work out why she was so angry for such a young person, and how to help, work out what we were doing wrong. Eventually the psychologist agreed it was worth getting her assessed for ADHD. I had long suspected but as you need evidence in two settings it was difficult to get anyone to care. The psychologist we had seen lined up a colleague of hers to go into school to observe (with school permission and daughter not being told anything) to help us gather evidence for when we subsequently went for assessment. We had to go to a different clinic as the original one only did combined assessment (along with ASD) at the time.
So we had evidence from school even though the school themselves couldn't see much, apart from a bit of fidgeting and anxiety (which they would not have remarked upon had we not asked).
I don't know if we would have got through triage on the NHS because the form I was shown seemed very tick box and school would not have ticked many boxes. So not ideal if you can't afford to go privately. But if you can gather evidence from any other setting that can be enough (child minder, a club the child attends etc).
Good luck x