I have a Motability car for my health needs, which my husband and I both drive. From time to time I give a friend and her 11-year-old son a lift home from karate, along with my own son who attends the same class. I have asthma and use a nebuliser in the car, which plugs into a socket that was fitted specially for my medical use.
My friend’s son has ADHD and other difficulties, and I do try to be understanding. However, his behaviour in the car can be very challenging. My friend often excuses it by saying it is because of his conditions and does not set firm boundaries. She allows him to use the socket to charge his devices, even though I have explained I may need it for my nebuliser and would prefer it be kept free as it's harder to take away what he has once he has got something then say no in the first instant.
On one journey recently I became unwell and had to use my nebuliser. My husband was driving at the time. The boy became very upset because he could not charge his iPad and ended up smashing a heavy toy against the car window, breaking it. My friend did not take this seriously and suggested it would have been easier if we had just let him have his way. Not even an apology.
We reported the damage to Motability to arrange a repair and were told as it was deliberate it would need to be paid for. I was honest with them about the circumstances, they suggest I talk to my friend about agreeing to pay. I spoke to her about this, but she dismissed it and said it was our fault for not letting him use the socket and insinuated I should call motabilities bluff as they won't charge me because they pay for everything. Motability also confirmed the socket should not have been used for charging devices at all as it was fitted by a charitable grant for the nebuliser only.
In the end, I was told my choices were to pay the full cost or pay the excess and let Motability pursue the matter which may involve charges been brought, I assumed they meant her but have since came to realise the child is above the age of legal prosecution. I cannot afford the full amount, and I do not feel it is right that I should pay for damage caused by someone else. I have also been advised not to give them lifts again, as it could risk my vehicle if further damage was to happen. Which didn't go down well either.
My friend is now telling others that I am taking her to court over a car I get for free, which is not true the letters have came from Motability who gave her 14 days to pay. She also claims a police officer terrified her son by threatening to arrest him for the damage and that the will now have this on his record. All this was done by motability as I just provided their details and the camera footage. I feel very upset by the situation, but I believe I have done the right thing. I am asking whether I am being unreasonable for paying the excess and allowing Motability to deal with the rest, even if it has consequences for her. I understand parenting a child like this is hard but she won't say no to anything if he asks even when it's not hers to give.
I think she has been led to believe that motability provide everything regardless of how the vehicle is looked after but this is not the case and especially recently they are now tighter with money and reluctant just to pay for repairs that are not normal wear and tear.