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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was incredibly rude?

40 replies

MarriedWithCauldron · 27/12/2025 13:20

I was out for a few Christmas drinks with some old friends yesterday. Another friend of theirs, Anne, who I’d not met before, joined us for a while. She said she’d had a bit of a miserable Christmas Day because her adult daughter had behaved like a bit of a brat.

Anyway, she hadn’t been there that long when who should arrive in the pub but her daughter and her friend. The daughter, Jess, looked a bit embarrassed to be in the same pub as her mum, but she did come over and spoke to us. Anne introduced her and the friend, Kate.

Jess said her hellos and wished us all a merry Christmas, and briefly chatted to her mother before going off with Kate. Kate, however, did not say a word. Not to Anne, not to us. She just stood there with this sneer on her face, like she would rather have been anywhere else. I get that a friend’s mother’s friends aren’t the most exciting people a young woman could hope to meet, but not so much as a hello? At least for a friend’s mother, if not for strangers? But no - all poor Anne got was a look of barely disguised contempt.

When they’d gone, Anne said she thought Kate was a bad influence (and none of us argued otherwise!). Anyway, later on Anne decided to get a round of shots, and I went to the bar to help her carry them. As we were walking back, Kate saw us and said “Where’s my shot?”. Anne was clearly taken aback and said “Sorry?”. Kate said, “Where’s mine? I want a shot!”

Anne laughed and said that perhaps the lads she was talking to would buy her one, and we carried on walking. But frankly I was amazed she took it as calmly as she did. If it had been me she’d have got that shot glass right up her nostril!

Can you believe the brass neck of the girl?! Ignoring Anne to start with was bad enough, but to then tap her up for drinks, well… words fail me.

OP posts:
ItsDarkNow · 27/12/2025 13:22

As if you would have glassed her. Don’t be silly.

PInkyStarfish · 27/12/2025 13:23

Why are you over invested in people you don’t know?

Jess the daughter has probably told her a load of codswallop about how awful her mother is and the friend is hostile.

i women’s even have noticed the antics of anyone I don’t know.

InterestedDad37 · 27/12/2025 13:25

Everyone step away from the bar...

QPZM · 27/12/2025 13:25

You met a rude person in the pub and you're still thinking about it?

SparklingCrow · 27/12/2025 13:26

And no, you would not have put a shot glass up a woman’s nostril. Stop showing off.

MarriedWithCauldron · 27/12/2025 13:27

QPZM · 27/12/2025 13:25

You met a rude person in the pub and you're still thinking about it?

It’s not taking over my life! I just thought it might make an interesting thread.

OP posts:
ParallelLimes · 27/12/2025 13:28

And everyone clapped and cheered!

MarriedWithCauldron · 27/12/2025 13:28

ItsDarkNow · 27/12/2025 13:22

As if you would have glassed her. Don’t be silly.

It was plastic 😆 And no, I wouldn’t have literally shoved it up her nostril. I would have thought it was fairly obviously hyperbole.

OP posts:
ItsOnlyHobnobs · 27/12/2025 13:29

How old is the daughter/friend?

I think if teen/early 20s I’d just think they’re of that age group of still being cheeky and rebellious, and she’s probably heard her friend complain about how dreadful mum is.

If late 20s and up, it’s time to grow up.

MarriedWithCauldron · 27/12/2025 13:29

SparklingCrow · 27/12/2025 13:26

And no, you would not have put a shot glass up a woman’s nostril. Stop showing off.

Showing off 🙄 For heaven’s sake, it was a joke.

OP posts:
Overtheatlantic · 27/12/2025 13:29

Grown women pitting themselves against girls half their age is bad form.

paradisecircus · 27/12/2025 13:33

I think Anne's response to Kate sounds quite good - at least she didn't cave in and buy her a shot. If Christmas Day with Jess had already been fraught, I doubt Anne would have had much to gain by being confrontational with her friend.
Kate may be rude, who knows, but she sounds quite a peripheral person as far as you're concerned - not worth your headspace.

UncannyFanny · 27/12/2025 13:33

MarriedWithCauldron · 27/12/2025 13:27

It’s not taking over my life! I just thought it might make an interesting thread.

You have to remember most of the people on here haven’t set foot in a pub since the 1920’s when you could get half a pint and a packet of pork scratchings for 2 shillings and sixpence.

ThatGladTiger · 27/12/2025 13:33

I think young adults struggle with conversation. I was at a neighbours yesterday and it was hard talking to their 23 year old nephew. He was perfectly polite in that he would answer questions when asked, but otherwise would sit in silence. I think social media has fried their brains!

Coconutter24 · 27/12/2025 13:44

Kate was probably shy or just let Jess lead with the talking but after a few drinks she relaxed

2026isgoingtobebetter · 27/12/2025 13:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

HardworkSendHelp · 27/12/2025 13:59

Yes it was super rude of Kate. I honestly think there is a major issue with entitlement with SOME young adults. They can be rude and snarky and then just expect to get given shit.

MarriedWithCauldron · 27/12/2025 14:10

i women’s even have noticed the antics of anyone I don’t know.

You wouldn’t have noticed the conversation going on right next to you?

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 27/12/2025 14:11

ThatGladTiger · 27/12/2025 13:33

I think young adults struggle with conversation. I was at a neighbours yesterday and it was hard talking to their 23 year old nephew. He was perfectly polite in that he would answer questions when asked, but otherwise would sit in silence. I think social media has fried their brains!

And the older generation probably said similar things about you when you were a young adult, and these young adults will be saying the same thing about the next generation when they're older.

Why do some people still insisted on generalising entire generations based on one or two anecdotes or brief encounters?

Maybe Kate was a dick, maybe she thinks the woman was a dick. Who knows. But I don't think you can blame her attitude on social media or her age when you know fuck all about her.

ThatGladTiger · 27/12/2025 14:45

CatamaranViper · 27/12/2025 14:11

And the older generation probably said similar things about you when you were a young adult, and these young adults will be saying the same thing about the next generation when they're older.

Why do some people still insisted on generalising entire generations based on one or two anecdotes or brief encounters?

Maybe Kate was a dick, maybe she thinks the woman was a dick. Who knows. But I don't think you can blame her attitude on social media or her age when you know fuck all about her.

I generalise generations based on my interactions with them. Why are you so angry?

ItsDarkNow · 27/12/2025 14:54

What kind of pub serves drinks in plastic glasses ?

pictoosh · 27/12/2025 14:59

Could be she was reticent to begin with then loose-tongued after a couple of drinks.

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 27/12/2025 14:59

Everyone needs to calm the fuck down to be honest 😂

Obviously the OP wouldn't really have shoved a shot glass up anyone's nostril. Quite apart from the sheer impracticality of the physics of it, it was clearly humorous hyperbole, not an attempt to look hard. So really no need to jump on her for that

Kate sounds like an asshole but it's also a possibility that she's socially awkward and at first didn't know what to say, and then got a couple of drinks down her. her confidence rose, and she decided to make a common joke - "where's mine?" that people often say when they see something they want that very clearly isn't for them. It backfired because of how she acted earlier but may well have not been the intention.

The young people were probably put out that they wouldn't feel able to relax and be themselves with the mum and her friends there, rather than embarrassed to be in the same pub as her mother.

Who knows? There are endless possibilities to the whys and wherefores of why people do the stuff they do and unless we ever get Kate or Jess's side, we are unlikely to ever know.

So everyone needs to just chill and stop getting so up in arms about it.

Isittimeformynapyet · 27/12/2025 15:00

ItsDarkNow · 27/12/2025 14:54

What kind of pub serves drinks in plastic glasses ?

Young people pubs. The kind where everyone gets on the shots. It might all kick off, you see.

mamajong · 27/12/2025 15:01

Hmmmm - you dont know the whole story, maybe jess' side is different and shes confided in her friend who out of solidarity doesnt want to be nice to the mum based on what shes bern told. Also it says adult daughter but how old? Some younger adults just arent very confident around older adults - if theyre teens thats much more understandable than if she was 30 for example. And re the shots, it sounds like a joke - 'wheres mine' is often banter aming youngsters in the pub when seeing someone with a round of drinks or maybe she was just a bit drunk.

Mostly though why on earth are you concerned about the friend of your friends daughter?! Completely irrelevant to you surely!