I've barely seen DH over Christmas

[AndsAsWrap]

My DH is a chef, we have a 3 week old baby boy and he isn't British.
This year DH was working during the day on Christmas Eve and almost all day on Christmas Day but had today off. Traditionally on Boxing Day we travel into London and meet up with his other friends who are from his country too, big meal and all the foods he associates with Christmas. His friends who host it live in a small 2 bed in central London, not spacious as it is.
He got home around 7.30 on Christmas Eve, we had dinner and did the presents from his family, then at 11 he left to go to midnight mass, I'm not catholic, he is "culture catholic/cradle catholic" he had to get a 40 minute cab to the church that does services in his first language. He got home at 3am, as the service ended about 1.20am, then he walked to his friends house with them and had a drink before getting a cab home.
He didn't wake up until 9am, knew he had work at 11. We finished the gift exchange and he ran off. I went to my parents so the day was fine, when he got home he was tired so didn't even acknowledge our son.
Today we were meant to spend the day together before he went to his friends in the evening, I was invited to the meal but decided not to go as its a tiny flat and lots of people to have around a new baby. I did ask if he would skip it this year as I'd barely seen him, he said no this is his Christmas.
Then instead of actually spending the day with baby or I, he was in the kitchen making food for his meal tonight, when I asked if I could help at all he told me no. Then dinner doesn't usually start until late with his friends but he left at 4pm to help them set up. He likely won't be home until well into the early hours.

AIBU to be annoyed we haven't spent anytime together and to wonder how this will work in future years if he isn't willing to make any adjustments for our family?

No he's not. He's far from home. OP you can go to your parents Christmas Day and spend time with him Boxing Day, and how lovely for your little one as they get older, if all three of you spend time with his friends Boxing Day so he/she can experience this side of their heritage

The baby is 3 weeks. Why are his needs far more important? Unlucky mum. You’ve got to get over it because your poor dh wants a night of fun!! It’s almost like he is also responsible for looking after his baby. Jeez!

I think you're coming up against a big culture thing which I have found - I keep my kids on a rigid schedule when they are tiny even if it is limiting to my social life because i know they do better for sleeping well / eating regularly etc but some cultures really do expect kids to somehow be ok in these messy scenarios and will never understand someone limiting their own life to make things easier for the kids.

They 'expect kids to be ok' because usually they are! In cultures where that's the norm.

It's not for me personally, I probably would have done the same as OP, but having lived in that culture, it's not wrong, just different.

Yeah all of this totally tracks. I'm guessing Italian but it could be Spanish or Portuguese just as easily. I've actually often admired their relaxed, inclusive approach to parenting - children fit into life, life doesn't stop to revolve around the children. They think the children will be fine because they ARE. That's just me observing as a child-free outsider though.

I think a larger issue here is how much you're OK with your child being culturally Italian (or whatever) as well as culturally British and therefore being raised in a non-British way in some aspects. (And that's not really a choice at this point, you kind of have to make your peace with it.)