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Original poster

Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!

514 replies

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 14:53

I love christmas, and I love christmas presents, I got my best friend a lovely calendar showing photos that were precious to me throughout the year of all the good times we have shared, in return, and this is so strange, I got two bookends, which have obviously been handmade, but look like my face, but in a grotesque punch and judy way, I'm not sure whether they are supposed to look so scary, but they are hideous, I actually had nightmares about them last night, and on top of that, a smaller 3D figurine which is basically me looking like a drag queen in hideous blonde hair and a massive red bow, they obviously took a long time and I get that, but I wonder what they are trying to tell me, they have sent me a message asking what I think of them and I really don't know what to say, to be honest, Im quite upset they see me that way. Im just a normal person who loves christmas, I was hoping for tickets to see a christmas carol or something like that.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Wheresthebeach · 27/12/2025 02:47

Pay for the meal pronto.
Don’t expect expensive presents from people - that’s absurd and you’ve created that in your head. Can’t imagine why…it’s just silly of you.
Clearly they think this is hilarious, as does your brother. Bin the gift and distance yourself from the friendship. Whatever else is going on the gift is hideous and meant to be.

HappyNYx · 27/12/2025 04:42

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 15:55

it actually gets worse because they knew i would be at my brothers on christmas day so they asked my brother to film it on his mobile phone and send it to them when I opened them, i was horror struck as I removed the wrapper, but my family thought it was hilarious, I begged my brother not to send it but he did, and my face is a real picture, Im shocked and confused, but everyone else is laughing, and now my friend has just rang, they have it on their tv screen and everyone is laughing there as well, as they are at a family do, I've been turned into a figure of fun for someone elses amusement so no, I dont feel like paying for the meal now,

Based on this alone, I would be reconsidering the friendship. The fact they've put your reaction on the TV screen at theirs for their families to see too is bullying.

I wouldn't even respond to them now. Just cut them off your life. Go no contact.

I'm also wondering why on earth your brother sent them the photo of you opening it too when you quite clearly asked him not to.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 27/12/2025 05:23

How did the situation come up where you were offering to pay for dinner? Most friends would just split the bill.

Bleachedjeans · 27/12/2025 05:38

In answer to the question ‘what do you think of your presents?’ simply reply ‘I don’t know what to think’
maybe not easy for you though…

Farticus101 · 27/12/2025 05:41

DetectiveDouche · 26/12/2025 23:51

To put it very plainly OP, you need to pay them the money for the meal. Dust off your cheque book and send a cheque if you have to but you need to do this. You don't "treat someone" and them force them to pay the cost themselves. And they were forced because someone had to pay it.

Regarding the bookends, if you can't discuss this with them then you weren't as close at you think. Best friends would not be wanting to hurt you.

As a secondary issue, perhaps you could look at getting some help with budgeting as it's a little worrying to be so unaware of what you can and can't afford that you are having multiple cards declined. Kindly, is there something else going on?

Absolutely spot on.

SomewhatAnnoyed · 27/12/2025 05:44

Shodan · 26/12/2025 16:11

Is it possible- and this is probably a massive leap- that the bookends are actually not caricatures of you, but of Ebeneezer Scrooge, from A Christmas Carol? And that's why they wanted to see your reaction?

Regardless- it was beyond crass of you to play the gracious host at the restaurant and then not have the means to pay for it, and even worse to be expecting an expensive gift like theatre tickets from the same people that you stiffed.

I think this is likely to be it and would explain why they asked for it to be filmed as it was a double joke - that OP was a Scrooge over the meal and that they’d already referenced a Christmas carol to her.

That’s being kind to them tho, but it is a likely scenario

clamshell24 · 27/12/2025 06:01

Hooked nose you say- are the bookends meant to be Scrooge?

HerNeighbourTotoro · 27/12/2025 06:47

mondaytosunday · 26/12/2025 16:32

Yea I go to the trouble of making bookends and a figurine in my own quirky style just to let you know I think you are… what? Cheap? Mean? Ugly?
Or could It be that your friend loves you but has different taste and thinks these things look great (have to say I think the image looked charming not at all scary)! I think you are reading WAY too much into this. And frankly if someone said they’d take me out to dinner, didn’t in the end so I had to pay, I’m not sure I’d be giving them a present at all!

Tbh reading how the friend had a lot of fun at OPs expense, I started dounting it was a present done in good faith, sounds very cruel.

Isittimeformynapyet · 27/12/2025 07:06

BlackCat14 · 26/12/2025 22:39

I’m sorry but are you for real?

You “took them out” for a meal, encouraged them to get as much as they want, including £40 wine, and then every single card of yours bounced, so they ended up paying, AND YOU HAVENT YET TRANSFERRED THEM THEIR MONEY BACK? Also why werent
your cards working? Did you have no money in your account? Or was there just a card error?

And to top it off, for Christmas you got them a photo calendar made, costing what, £30? But you expected them to buy you £300 tickets for a Carol concert?! Am I reading this right?

Show quote history

No. The OP says the tickets were for A Christmas Carol "or something" at the Old Vic theatre which would suggest it was a play based on the story by Charles Dickens. Or something.

Blizzardofleaves · 27/12/2025 07:14

The gifts were intended as a joke, not done maliciously, hence the capturing it on video. I imagine it was just a bit of fun, and highlights how insensitive the friend can be to OP’s insecurities.

If op is genuinely hurt and upset she should discuss with her friend how it made her feel.

I am not sure why she hasn’t paid for the bill yet. Send half - £150. You shouldn’t be paying for the entire bill. If you think she has been deliberately cruel, then you are free to end the friendship.

They were definitely hinting for you to buy tickets for them, hence the generous presents!

limetrees32 · 27/12/2025 07:15

I keep thinking about the OP. .
I wonder if she's ,awkward , naive,rather downtrodden.i can't find the right words.
But it sounds like it came easily to both her brother and this couple to make fun of her..
It sounds as though she was very grateful for the moments spent with them over the last year ; it does seem slightly odd to immortalise these in a calendar.
I'm thinking there's a huge difference in how much disposable income the OP has and how much her " friend" has . That in the past they have given presents that they could afford but which outmatched those of the OP.
That the OP had become used to expecting these.
I think the OP was naive/,unworldly over the meal.
I think her friends and her brother are cruel and making fun of her.

limetrees32 · 27/12/2025 07:18

If the OP couldn't afford the bill at the time why do people think she can now ?
And if they are good friends who know her well , surely they have some idea of her financial status?.
All of her cards declined ( she tried several ," as you do") this wasn't a new experience for her.
I bet her " friends" knew the meal price was out of her range .
Who chooses wine at £40 a bottle when someone else is offering to pay?

PoliteRaven · 27/12/2025 07:27

limetrees32 · 27/12/2025 07:18

If the OP couldn't afford the bill at the time why do people think she can now ?
And if they are good friends who know her well , surely they have some idea of her financial status?.
All of her cards declined ( she tried several ," as you do") this wasn't a new experience for her.
I bet her " friends" knew the meal price was out of her range .
Who chooses wine at £40 a bottle when someone else is offering to pay?

Edited

This.

Ariel896 · 27/12/2025 07:54

Pieceofpurplesky · 26/12/2025 15:55

How do you know they are supposed to be of you? I would hate a cheap calendar of photos - did you include one of the meal you couldn't afford to treat them too?

This thread is absolutely amazing!!!!! 😂 but this comment wins hands down. Please say you included pics of the meal you didn’t pay for!!!

3luckystars · 27/12/2025 07:58

Were you just standing there trying to pay for the meal and hoping for the best? How did you not know what was in your accounts?
you could have split the bill over a few cards?

Why were you paying for meals out if you don’t even have £300 to your name? I’m wondering are you a bit vulnerable?

I hope you have decent people around you now. They don’t sound like friends and your brother isn’t nice either.

MamsKnit · 27/12/2025 07:58

Isittimeformynapyet · 27/12/2025 07:06

No. The OP says the tickets were for A Christmas Carol "or something" at the Old Vic theatre which would suggest it was a play based on the story by Charles Dickens. Or something.

Show quote history

Yes it is the Old Vic’s annual Christmas show. It is very popular so tickets are expensive.

MamsKnit · 27/12/2025 08:16

Where do you get things like those bookends made? I really want something like this.

Grrrzelda · 27/12/2025 08:35

Agree the OP sounds vulnerable. There are people for whom a £300 meal tab is normal but this 'friend' group does not sound like that. @confusedgoldilocks have you been asked to pay for things or do things you were not comfortable with before? Tale care of yourself.

Thedownwardspiralpath · 27/12/2025 08:37

IridiumSky · 27/12/2025 00:28

Found it! 😂

That’s a good shout actually 😃

It sounds like the OP bigged up a slap up meal for Christmas so she would get theatre tickets, knowing fully well she didn’t have the funds. I also suspect she has form for this and has already admitted to wanting a lifestyle she can’t afford.

UneAnneeSansLumiere · 27/12/2025 08:38

Grrrzelda · 27/12/2025 01:04

It may sound pre-Enlightenment to you, but witchcraft happens @UneAnneeSansLumiere

Edited

People may practice it, but it isn't real. Anyway I don't see what an ugly ornament has to do with witchcraft.

Chiaseedling · 27/12/2025 08:39

I’d be really annoyed re the meal scenario and you should 100% at last transfer for your half. Message and be polite about the gift, and say you’re so sorry re the meal - I’d like to transfer at least ‘our’ share, please send your bank details.

UneAnneeSansLumiere · 27/12/2025 08:40

limetrees32 · 27/12/2025 07:18

If the OP couldn't afford the bill at the time why do people think she can now ?
And if they are good friends who know her well , surely they have some idea of her financial status?.
All of her cards declined ( she tried several ," as you do") this wasn't a new experience for her.
I bet her " friends" knew the meal price was out of her range .
Who chooses wine at £40 a bottle when someone else is offering to pay?

Edited

£40 is not excessive for wine at a restaurant. The OP shouldn't have offered to treat if she didn't have the money to pay for it!

Grrrzelda · 27/12/2025 08:45

UneAnneeSansLumiere · 27/12/2025 08:38

People may practice it, but it isn't real. Anyway I don't see what an ugly ornament has to do with witchcraft.

Show quote history

It is at the very least a sign of considered ill intent (maleficium).
Sorry you have missed out on folklore or even anthropology that would enable you to recognise the use of images. There are some good psychological clues to human behaviour.
Slán.

limetrees32 · 27/12/2025 08:53

The OP shouldn't have offered to treat if she didn't have the money to pay for it!

She caused herself excruciating embarrassment by doing so .
I know many have jumped to the judgment of CF
but in my view this doesn't fit the bill ( no pun intended)
So she might have got a free meal out of it but at what cost to herself?
Most CF doesn't involve putting yourself into a hugely embarrassing situation.
The more I reflect the more I think the OP is vulnerable and being made fun of.
And it's perfectly possible to order decent wine for half that price when dining out.

Alpacajigsaw · 27/12/2025 08:56

limetrees32 · 27/12/2025 07:15

I keep thinking about the OP. .
I wonder if she's ,awkward , naive,rather downtrodden.i can't find the right words.
But it sounds like it came easily to both her brother and this couple to make fun of her..
It sounds as though she was very grateful for the moments spent with them over the last year ; it does seem slightly odd to immortalise these in a calendar.
I'm thinking there's a huge difference in how much disposable income the OP has and how much her " friend" has . That in the past they have given presents that they could afford but which outmatched those of the OP.
That the OP had become used to expecting these.
I think the OP was naive/,unworldly over the meal.
I think her friends and her brother are cruel and making fun of her.

This is a good point. I would wonder if even before the meal debacle whether the friend would have described OP as her best friend. Somehow I doubt it.