Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!

514 replies

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 14:53

I love christmas, and I love christmas presents, I got my best friend a lovely calendar showing photos that were precious to me throughout the year of all the good times we have shared, in return, and this is so strange, I got two bookends, which have obviously been handmade, but look like my face, but in a grotesque punch and judy way, I'm not sure whether they are supposed to look so scary, but they are hideous, I actually had nightmares about them last night, and on top of that, a smaller 3D figurine which is basically me looking like a drag queen in hideous blonde hair and a massive red bow, they obviously took a long time and I get that, but I wonder what they are trying to tell me, they have sent me a message asking what I think of them and I really don't know what to say, to be honest, Im quite upset they see me that way. Im just a normal person who loves christmas, I was hoping for tickets to see a christmas carol or something like that.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
DressOrSkirt · 26/12/2025 23:26

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 15:55

it actually gets worse because they knew i would be at my brothers on christmas day so they asked my brother to film it on his mobile phone and send it to them when I opened them, i was horror struck as I removed the wrapper, but my family thought it was hilarious, I begged my brother not to send it but he did, and my face is a real picture, Im shocked and confused, but everyone else is laughing, and now my friend has just rang, they have it on their tv screen and everyone is laughing there as well, as they are at a family do, I've been turned into a figure of fun for someone elses amusement so no, I dont feel like paying for the meal now,

It doesn't matter what you feel like, you told them you were paying for the meal so pay them back for the meal.
Then you will be 'even' - a handmade calendar for handmade bookends sounds reasonably equal so a non-issue there.
But I don't know how you could possibly think she should have gotten you theatre tickets on top of all this?

Alpacajigsaw · 26/12/2025 23:28

Christ this whole thing is weird

The meal thing is totally cringe and then the fact that despite them paying for a £300 meal and you buying a calendar as a gift you thought you might be getting £300 tickets as a present?!

The gift is truly disgusting I’d absolutely throw that in the bin and it does sound like they wanted to shame you so they really aren’t friends. Probably did this to get you back after the meal debacle.

I think just throw the items out end the friendship and move on

Sam9769 · 26/12/2025 23:32

I wonder if this post is a wind up?
It sounds too ridiculous to be true!

bonquiqui · 26/12/2025 23:42

Isayitasitis · 26/12/2025 23:07

But that doesn't make it being ND does it?

That's their personality and you basically said that at the end of your comment.

Do you think only ND people have batshit behaviour? I am so tired of people on here suggesting every little thing off is ND. It's bloody offensive, understand that!

It's on nearly every post where someone is awkward, slightly strange and even to downright abusive behaviour. It perpetuates hamrful stereotypes and from the reactions I get to my comments, many others think so too. Think before you comment as I'm tired of people assuming that we all have no idea of proprietary or what is common sense!

Edited
Show quote history

I was saying entirely the opposite: that I thought maybe some of her social misreadings could indicate ND but also that I think she’s acted in a batshit way here (due to her personality). The two unrelated. Wasn’t in any way trying to explain away her behaviour on being ND. Like I said, I feel the two things can coexist

odd you’re being so defensive and very “do you think we’re all the same” when I’ve never said I was neurotypical myself.

DetectiveDouche · 26/12/2025 23:51

To put it very plainly OP, you need to pay them the money for the meal. Dust off your cheque book and send a cheque if you have to but you need to do this. You don't "treat someone" and them force them to pay the cost themselves. And they were forced because someone had to pay it.

Regarding the bookends, if you can't discuss this with them then you weren't as close at you think. Best friends would not be wanting to hurt you.

As a secondary issue, perhaps you could look at getting some help with budgeting as it's a little worrying to be so unaware of what you can and can't afford that you are having multiple cards declined. Kindly, is there something else going on?

MyOtherProfile · 26/12/2025 23:53

What a hideous present. Can you ask your brother who filmed it if he knows what's going on?

Busyasabumblebee · 27/12/2025 00:05

I’m so sorry op, this person is cruel and not a friend

IridiumSky · 27/12/2025 00:28

Found it! 😂

Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!
Ratfur · 27/12/2025 00:30

I think they are being unkind. Good friends wouldn't ridicule you in such a public way.
I would rethink this friendship.

PlumpHobbit · 27/12/2025 00:32

We need to see a photo of the bookends!

You should transfer them the money for the meal, or if you have their address and you have a cheque book, you could do a cheque

PlumpHobbit · 27/12/2025 00:40

Also, why couldn't you at least pay your share of the meal in the restaurant, then pay for theirs as youd said you would, at a later date once you had sorted the money to do so? Or at the very least the extra bits youd encouraged them to order, that they thought youd be paying for

UneAnneeSansLumiere · 27/12/2025 00:40

Grrrzelda · 26/12/2025 22:09

Even if you don't want to acknowledge witchcraft, there is clearly ill intent. Get rid of objects, pay back 'friends', block 'friends' and no further contact or explanation.

Will you stop going on about witchcraft!? It's truly bizarre.

Homegrownberries · 27/12/2025 00:45

Neither presents were good. A calendar of photos that are precious to you isn't great present for anyone other than you. Also, maybe she hates how she looks in those photos and maybe you've inadvertently done the same thing to her that she's done to you.

Clonakilla · 27/12/2025 00:46

I’d assume they were caricatures? Not intended to be realistic.

You seem to have very extreme reactions, do you have issues with emotional regulation? It’s quite OTT to have nightmares about this. Your behaviour in the restaurant was also very strange, and it’s quite odd to make a whole calendar of shots of you and your friend. Not to mention deciding you no longer owe money you clearly owe for your dinner because you feel you’ve been made fun of.

I suspect this isn’t the first friendship difficulty you’ve had?

UneAnneeSansLumiere · 27/12/2025 00:50

I have to say that this is one of the best threads I've read on here. It's just so deliciously outre.

Isittimeformynapyet · 27/12/2025 00:52

@DahlsChickenz Vettriano was a painter. He didn't do sculptures.

Namechangerage · 27/12/2025 01:03

Why didn’t you just split the meal? Why did you still expect them to buy you tickets when all you got them was a calendar and they paid !£300! for a meal? So confused… though the book end is hilarious 🤣

Grrrzelda · 27/12/2025 01:04

It may sound pre-Enlightenment to you, but witchcraft happens @UneAnneeSansLumiere

andthat · 27/12/2025 01:09

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 15:45

If it had not been for the bookmarks, yes that would have been fine, but I have a hook nose, weird eyes and if I look closely, Im sure I can see a goatee, its so hurtful, it just makes me want to burst into tears, I dont think they could have make me look so ugly and horrible,

@confusedgoldilocks you describe the gift giver as your best friend. Take a step back and think… would your best friend really want to humiliate you this way? If the answer is ‘yes’, then I’m not sure why she is your best friend.

if the answer is ‘no’ then you have to assume that she thought it was a fun and quirky gift and no malice intended. Which is it??

As for the meal.. you offered to pay as a present . It sounds like you couldn’t afford to. But that doesn’t mean you shoud have let your friend pay and nit make any effort to pay back.. even if half. You should make amends for that.

Calliopespa · 27/12/2025 01:28

I once heard a comment made to the effect that if we all saw ourselves the way others see us, we would be deeply depressed. It is possible she sees the bookends as a likeness and didn't mean them to be unkind. That isn't to say they are a good likeness, but we all see things differently.

Calliopespa · 27/12/2025 01:37

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 16:20

because once i sent a photo of me and i had a big red bow in my blonde hair, its based on that photo

OK I've now caught up with your more recent posts, including the photo it is based on and the mobile filming and I'm sorry the only interpretation that makes sense is that they are making fun of you.

Bin the items, pay them for the meal so you owe nothing and cut contact. I'd probably tell them why.

TheseWordsAreMine · 27/12/2025 01:43

I'm in shock.

mmsnets · 27/12/2025 01:45

transfer the money otherwise youre a CF!

maybe that was your intention

mmsnets · 27/12/2025 01:48

BlondeBonBon · 26/12/2025 23:12

Regardless if you want to pay for the meal or not, pay half the bill for the meal as it’s the fair thing to do.

afterwards be honest with your friend. Tell her that something is only truly funny if both parties find it funny .. and in-fact you feel really hurt by the Xmas gifts, you feel made fun of, which is unexpected and unkind.

offering to pay for a meal and then not paying is not funny!

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 27/12/2025 02:35

IridiumSky · 27/12/2025 00:28

Found it! 😂

Can’t lie I’d put those away too