Shouldn't I have asked for details of random friend staying?

[w1azrdingabout12345]

My OH has a friend who is coming to stay over in January, totally fine. She wants to bring a friend over to stay too, I said fine. But we have a 7 month old baby and I said we need to find out details on this friend, ie, their name who they are how long she's know them, their gender?
OH has had the convo with the friend who is giving the details but is questioning why we need to know and making it very awkward.

Am I being unreasonable with asking?

Is the friend helping with moving the stuff?
we had relatives from overseas recently… you think you know someone until they stay in your house and you discover you don’t know them at all.
the back door key was lost. Not them.
the dog was locked out in the front garden. Not them (even though they came in the front door last).
the hot water tank overheated due to an extra emersion being switched on (why didn’t they just ask what to do?!?). £600 worth of damage
make-up all over the carpet in the spare bedroom.
the freezer door in the garage left ajar overnight.
they consumed entire multipacks of coke and lemonade stored in the garage for a family party. Told nobody. Didn’t replace it even when we realised the morning of the party.
used my son’s Roche-posay moisturiser (he has a skin condition that requires it), knowing it wasn’t theirs.

Tell her she has x amount of time or ita going to the tip or she starts paying storage fees she's quite clearly a CF thats thinks ( and is right) that you're pushovers.

OP. You have just had a baby! No way would I let anyone in the door right now.

And ask you for the stuff they've stored in your garage??

It's your baby's father who should tell them to fuck off.

If he won't, you have a bigger problem going forward.

This would be an absolute “No!” from me. I would never ever in a million years have someone stay overnight in my house who I have never met before, baby or no baby. You are being used. Tell “friend” she collects ALL her shit this time round or you’re going to have to take it all to the tip. Some friends just not worth having. I’d happily fall out with someone like that to ensure I never see them again and have to put up with their crap.

Your OH's friend is definitely taking the piss. Using your home as free storage for her junk and she now expects you to host a stranger when presumably she knows you have a baby? Sounds like the friend needs to grow up. Regardless of whether or not you have kids she's got a cheek to assume she can just invite a ramdomer to your home. I'd tell her get her stuff and her mate isn't welcome as you don't know the person

Message her that you are looking forward to her taking all her stuff when she comes. Because if she can't then you'll be sending it to the charity shop/dump.

Say no to the strange friend - say "sorry that doesn't work for me and if you feel more comfortable staying elsewhere then no problem"

This friend has left a “garage worth” of stuff with you for FIVE YEARS? What????

do you have any concept of what they would have paid to store that? Why are you allowing this to happen?

tell them they have 30 days to remove it or you’ll be disposing of it.

if you have a garage space available (which you will have, once you get rid of the crap that this CF has left in there) I suggest you rent it out and put the money into an account for your child. By the time the kid is 18 it will pay for their university education.

i can’t believe you’ve allowed this to carry on for five years! You and your DH are being total doormats.

Tell them both no - and to enjoy how many questions a hotel asks them.

No way would I allow strangers to stay in my home with my children!

I wouldn't no to her being so cheeky. My sister did this and bought some awful woman with her. It was awful. She clearly thought she was in a hotel.

Exactly. If the friend is a notorious criminal they’re not going to tell you.
You can’t do a DBS check.

It just got awkward as she started bringing up criminals etc

it would be a flat No.

if your OH doesn't own or have a part stake in your property then they don't get to decide who comes to stay. If they do, then you need to question their judgement. They sound irresponsible and as always, it's the man-child who gets to do stupid things while the woman behaves like the adult,mthinking about the risks to their vulnerable child having randoms to stay,

I think you are being used.
All that time with their belongings in your garage and now they want to bring a friend to stay at your house for free?
And they are upset as you want to know about them.
Put your foot down tell them no.

Jesus, the shit other people think they have to put up with? OH’s friend is chaotic, unreliable, rude and not a good judge of what is socially acceptable- treating your garage as storage for five years and and inviting themselves and a stranger to stay with a new baby in the house. That being the case what are the chances that their friend is also a complete nightmare?

OH needs to be telling both of them to bugger off and if this friend doesn’t turn up with a van to move the stuff out the garage by 1st February you’ll be getting rid of it.

What hold does the friend have over your OH that they haven’t done this already.

Ask for a DBS check 😀

I find it really odd she didn't tell your OH anything about this person when asking if they could stay. Referring to them as "a friend" rather than "James from my running club who [has offered to help move boxes / is also going to the same gig / whatever] feels deliberately evasive. Then I read she has left a garage worth of her belongings with you for years. She's clearly a piss taker.

I'm an adult with no children, just me and DH in the house and I wouldn't have anyone I didn't know staying over.

I have had to have a slightly awkward convo with a friend who I invited to stay and she wanted to bring a new bf who I hadn't met.

She was fine with it, most people are, I think it's a reasonable boundary. So your OH's friend is out of order I think.

She is just staying overnight - has left a garage worth of her stuff here for the last five years so we are really hoping she takes it all with her.

Goodness me, she sounds like a right flake, I wouldn't be putting up with that.....
5 years! She's dumped them in your garage.

I certainly would not be having strangers staying overnight with children in the house.

Does she expect you to host her? (As in making up a bed, dinner, etc.).
I wouldn't be doing that with a baby.

Good luck OP. Hope it all works out.

I'm not sure what you're actually going up do with this information?

Some extensive Googling!

You've asked her to take her stuff repeatedly. It's time to tell her the date when it's going to the dump.

💯

Just tell her very clearly when she comes she need to take all her stuff with her or it will be heading for the tip as you aren’t a storage facility - or a hotel! - and that 5 years is more than taking the piss!!