Neighbours complaining about noisy dc in garden

[Xmasinthegarden]

We got the dc (8 and 5) a lot of presents for the garden (mud kitchen , outdoor toys, football/goals basketball hoop etc) they both have AuDHD and need to let off steam in the fresh air.

They were in the garden 10-1. Then back out again after lunch 230-430.

We had had a text from the neighbours at 115pm saying ‘we have guests today and would appreciate a little less noise from the garden thanks’ which I ignored but when the dc went back out at 230pm we had them knocking and telling us that they have family there and some are quite elderly and want peace and quiet and their niece has a newborn and all the commotion from our garden is very irritating as they are trying to relax in their conservatory. I said that the dc were not being that noisy and they wouldn’t be out there past 430 anyway. They said if this happens again tomorrow they will file a ‘noise complaint’ and may call the police!

The dc were just playing, not screaming or fighting. Just running about. Some ball bouncing yes but nothing terrible. They play out pretty much every day and this hasn’t been an issue before ? The neighbours moved in Feb this year so obviously it’s their first Xmas here but they would have known our dc play out a lot ?

They have text now with a ‘gentle reminder - tomorrow needs to be a calm peaceful day. Thanks for your cooperation’ wtf !!!

AIBU to ignore this ? We are home in the morning them leaving at 1230 to see my parents so if the dc play in the garden it wont be for that long just 2/3 hours in the morning.

So just take the balls off them and let them play without them (like they've managed all year up until today).

Just because they've received a new present, doesn't mean you have to let them play with them constantly.

Erm I'm on the neighbours side on this one out of pure consideration for the day and the fact people do have relatives and family they don't usually see. We have 4 under 5s who also play in the garden rain or shine hours a day and there olders will join them at several points to play however I cut it down today because I'm aware neighbours both sides have visiting family and kids are noisy as in we get used to there chatter,squabbles, shouting back n forth to each other, bouncing balls, squeaky trampolines lol so my choice was out of respect of Christmas tbh today

Yeah, it's being a "mood hoover" not to want to listen to kids bouncing and kicking balls around for 5 hours on Christmas Day

So on Xmas day they are expected to play with half the present and not have a vital part of it?!

Your talking rubbish

it’s completely within reasonable limits for children to play in their gardens every day

No - you take them to the park to play with the balls. They can play with the other toys in the garden.

Maybe you should have thought about all this before you bought your kids noisy presents for Christmas? I had lots of "park only" presents as a kid - it's very normal.

Lovely weather?
It has been dark, dank and miserable all week where I live (South Yorkshire).

I can understand why they complained as they had guests round & obviously wanted it to be a nice,quiet special day.Very rude of you not to be bothered about your neighbours.

It doesn't really sound like 'some bouncing of the ball' now.
I have young DC, also ND who like playing outside but think YABVU. Your neighbours have put up with it for 10 months without complaints for many hours a day.
Now they've asked you nicely, just take them to the park if they want to play with the balls FGS.

Yes

can you explain how kicking a ball at a net or throwing a ball through a hoop is beneficial to their sensory needs?

It’s been gorgeous here- cold but bright sunshine. North west.

Whup, here we go.

In fairness, it can be - the repetitive action can be very soothing for people with autism, BUT that's not the neighbours problem and isn't a reason for OP to let her kids "regulate" like that for hours on end just because it's Christmas.

You can get indoor toys and indoor games - maybe they would have been a better choice - or soft, foam balls that don't make so much racket.

You say ‘new shitty uk’ and this is what I know I will be up against in the future - 2 dc with SEN who need to be functioning members of society. There may not be disability benefits by then and they need to be able to cope. I’m not going to jeopardise their future sticking them in front of a screen or indoors cooped up and quiet and frustrated just to keep my neighbours happy.

My eldest was previously quite heavily medicated and we’ve been able to come off his melatonin completely. I’m trying to improve their long term outcomes by keeping them fit healthy and regulated. Even their teachers have seen a massive improvement in the last 18 months . Fresh air and outdoor time is good for them.

Fresh air and outdoor time is good for them

Nobody is saying otherwise, but they also need to learn to be considerate to other people. You could have bought them soft, foam balls to play with to keep the noise down, for example.

Seeing that the kids have been out for 5 hours today (enough to do anyone's head in). Why not give the neighbours a bit of break tomorrow and say no balls in the morning and then you'll be out in the afternoon anyway.

Honestly balls constantly bouncing off walls/concrete is enough to drive anyone insane. I think it's just common decency to have some consideration. The kids managed without making all this ball noise before and have been fine so just let them play with the kitchen and other stuff that doesn't make such a racket.

I do need to clarify it wasn’t 5 hours straight of ball bouncing. A lot of the time they were playing with the mud kitchen which does have wooden and metal utensils but it wasn’t noisy. They had chalks and did a lot of drawing. Yes some bouncing due to the basketball. The football wasn’t noisy as goals were on the grass. They also very quietly water painted the wall for about 40 mins at one point

For 5 hours on a day where the temp is around 4c and a cold bitter wind blowing?

Now you're just making stuff up.

I'm always amazed that people expect disabled children especially to control themselves better than grown adults.

These children need this exercise to regulate themselves, to lessen their distress from daily life, if they make a bit of noise in their own garden which they are perfectly entitled to use in the day then next door can pop the fucking radio on or perhaps sound proof their inadequate conservatory.

Children are human beings, they make noise occasionally, op has already said it is just family play noise, not screaming and shouting.

@Xmasinthegarden I hope your children enjoy playing with their toys tomorrow. Continue to do what's best for your children, it's obviously working and helping them.

I feel like you are underestimating the amount of noise your children make to ‘let off steam’. Most kids make a lot of noise when they are playing ball games, and I can imagine with new toys they were even louder than usual.

I assume as it’s winter your neighbours would have all their doors and windows closed, so for them to actually be hearing your children enough to annoy them, your children must have been pretty loud. If they were genuinely just general chatting as you claim then neighbours wouldn’t even know they were in the garden.

I think it’s a red herring you saying your neighbours make a lot of noise in the summer - everyone uses their gardens more noisily in the summer. I know you aren’t breaking any laws but I don’t think I’d be all that happy having to hear my neighbours kids on Xmas day for 5 hours.

To be a normal level of considerate I'd say, yes, bouncing balls should be kept to an absolute minimum. You must know it's one of the most irritating noises, a real water torture type situation

Yes. Many autistic children don't feel the cold or aren't impacted by it.

Where are people coming up with the nonsense that @Xmasinthegarden kids have been out in the garden for 5hrs + a day for moonnnnths 😱😱??? Am assuming they’re in school etc for most of the day?

Then you would have been fine to take the metal utensils and the basketball off them. They could have played with the wooden utensils.

Go out tomorrow and get them soft/foam balls to play with - they're much, much quieter and less irritating.

My neighbours kids have been out today from 9 till 4 slamming footballs around and into the fence. Ball noise is not the same as kids just playing, I can hear the repeated thuds in every room in the house. So it’s probably the banging they’re objecting to, not them playing with other toys.