Neighbours complaining about noisy dc in garden

[Xmasinthegarden]

We got the dc (8 and 5) a lot of presents for the garden (mud kitchen , outdoor toys, football/goals basketball hoop etc) they both have AuDHD and need to let off steam in the fresh air.

They were in the garden 10-1. Then back out again after lunch 230-430.

We had had a text from the neighbours at 115pm saying ‘we have guests today and would appreciate a little less noise from the garden thanks’ which I ignored but when the dc went back out at 230pm we had them knocking and telling us that they have family there and some are quite elderly and want peace and quiet and their niece has a newborn and all the commotion from our garden is very irritating as they are trying to relax in their conservatory. I said that the dc were not being that noisy and they wouldn’t be out there past 430 anyway. They said if this happens again tomorrow they will file a ‘noise complaint’ and may call the police!

The dc were just playing, not screaming or fighting. Just running about. Some ball bouncing yes but nothing terrible. They play out pretty much every day and this hasn’t been an issue before ? The neighbours moved in Feb this year so obviously it’s their first Xmas here but they would have known our dc play out a lot ?

They have text now with a ‘gentle reminder - tomorrow needs to be a calm peaceful day. Thanks for your cooperation’ wtf !!!

AIBU to ignore this ? We are home in the morning them leaving at 1230 to see my parents so if the dc play in the garden it wont be for that long just 2/3 hours in the morning.

For gods sake. People moan that kids are indoors too much on screens these days then moan when they are outside making noise!

OP get your kids out and let them have fun. If your neighbours are wanting a quiet day for whatever reason then fair enough but they can’t expect everyone else to turn the volume down for them. It’s been decent hours and it’s your own garden. Tough titties unfortunately

Oh but posters are suggesting neighbours call the COUNCIL!! With the noise complaint of a 5 and 8 yo playing in their garden! The horrors!! It’s sodom and gemorrah!!

The bouncing ball and possibly bashing of metal pans is the unreasonable bit. And any shrieking or arguing but as you were supervising I assume they weren’t doing that. Rest is fine.

Good idea to order sponge balls. They may not like them as much though. Maybe put some astro or an outdoor rug under the basketball hoop.

You owe not one person an explanation to justify your kids playing outside during the day. They are entitled to enjoy their garden. Tell the neightbour to do one.

I just don’t think you can expect that if you live in a house next to people. Kids need to run about and play outside. It’s not really a crime to play in ur back garden.

Exactly.

I can see this from both sides. I used to live in a mid-terrace cottage and my neighbour’s six yo twins would play cricket with soft balls (think toy ball-pit balls) which would end up in our garden, with lots of noise. I spent a lot of time chucking them back over the wall, and didn’t mind the noise. But whenever we had people round in the summer for a quiet drink the balls and noise would then be very annoying - and up to 8pm. We didn’t do it often, and I never asked them to stop, but I wished they’d been a bit more sensitive to noise so that once or twice a month we could have a quieter evening sitting in our garden. So actually I think you can compromise and keep them in just for 2-3 hours whilst they have their guests, and let them in the garden later. Just this once.

Why don't you take the balls to the grandparents' tomorrow and just offer chalk/mud kitchen/water painting for tomorrow morning as a compromise?

This! My NDN have 2 sons who have a hoop and every evening in summer they come out to constantly bounce the ball against the pavement and shoot hoops. This would be precisely when my SEN DD was trying to go to sleep. Then they progressed to football and it would sometimes whack against the fence really loudly. Eventually, I had about 6 balls in my garden after I stopped throwing them back. I finally complained when a football came over and landed smack bang in the middle of my flower bed I'd been cultivating for 2 years.

Something like a basketball sound can actually be taken care of by council due to the type and duration of noise, if it's hours. If it's ongoing over time. Other kinds of play, that's all fine. Christmas isn't the day I'd choose to complain though.

Which makes me think the noise must have been particularly bad today. Why would they accept the noise all summer, but then pick today to complain?

But she didn't keep them quieter today after being asked. So the neighbours are asking for one calm day tomorrow.

It sounds like the neighbours are normally ok with your kids and have never brought it up, and now that they have they have specifically mentioned an elderly relative (hard of hearing and can't take part in the conversations with background noise?) and newborn being woken up.

Their messages might have been OTT (and silly) mentioning formal noise complaints, but I don't think they are unreasonable for asking for some peace.

It would be selfish to disregard that request simply because you assume your family's needs trump everyone else's.

Absolutely ridiculous, children should be allowed to be outdoors.
Maybe you could take them out for a walk before , or tell the neighbours that they can have a quiet afternoon and evening but your children will be playing out in the mornings. Also tell them that you will be getting a dog and some chickens 😂

Why should she? The children wanted to play with their new toys. We're 'elderly ' and didn't get to bed until 1.30 am Christmas Day. Our neighbours boys were out in their garden this morning before we got up laughing and playing. It was lovely to hear them enjoying new toys

Just the same weather as in Melbourne, as it happens. Excellent drying weather.

The bouncing /thuds are annoying if going on for hours

5hrs is a lot on Christmas Day esp if they have people over

I get it’s good for boys to be outside burning off energy but be good to find a park that doesn’t allow dogs so can go out of house as well

I’ve had a neighbour with a young boy who practically lives in the garden for over ten years. He is loud but I have always enjoyed the sounds of him playing and having fun. Unfortunately now he is a teenager the balls he kicks for hours are leather, they smash against our fence and garage and the loud pounding is unbearable. As are the loud shouts from his friends, and with regular bouts of swearing and fighting thrown in, living next door to him is no longer pleasant.
I will be looking for a bungalow in the New Year- sadly.

Just take your kids to the park it’s two days out of the year they are not asking to hear them.

Whilst children playing is considered normal noise a basketball is not and can be considered a statutory noise nuisance by environmental health especially if it goes on for hours.
I would advise you to limit basketball playing to very short periods once or twice a week @Xmasinthegarden

I think you shoukd self reflect a bit more OP.

Yes, your kids are entitled to play in the garden but I bet that the noise levels were unreasonable and genuinely disturbing the neighbours.

Very likely that their visitors pointed this out and that is why your neighbours finally said something to you.

Rather than just dismissing their concerns I think you should take notice.

Never give your phone number to a neighbour - no good will come of it. Mine dont even know my name.

This.

Listening to other people’s kids is up there with having to listen to other people’s music. I have kids and I think I could tolerate it for some time but not for 5 hours on Christmas Day. Perhaps you could have taken them to a park or other green space to run about.

what seems noisy to some definitely doesn’t for others. Especially older people

It’s unusual for children to just be terrified of dogs for no reason. Often in small children it can be a learned behaviour when they see a parent running around like a headless chicken at the mere sight of a well behaved dog that isn’t doing anything to cause a problem. We had a grandmother locally who would practically throw herself under the traffic if she saw a dog. Her daughter would run across the road at the sight of one and quelle surprise the grandchildren who had never even been near a dog would become hysterical at the sight of a dog all because of the way their mother and grandmother behaved in front of them. They had both passed their own neuroses down the generations.

My neighbours are very lovely but noisy people. Last year they put in Astro turf and tiles in their back garden and as you can imagine it has been a constant “thud, thud, thud “ of penalty kicks on tiled ground and concrete fence. Their sons has mild SEN and they try to wear him out.
In the summer it was hell. He kicked a ball from 7/8am (early rise) and until 10/10:30 at night. Several evenings I’ve had to tell him to stop as I’m putting my daughter to bed and her bedroom is at the back of the house. Annoyingly his father will kick the ball with him at 10pm I had to tell his mother at one stage to tell him if my daughter wakes due to his kicking the ball after 9pm, I’ll bring her over to him. She was shocked as didn’t think he was being noisy. We’re talking about a 13 year old taking g penalty kicks constantly. He was so loud a few weeks ago that another neighbour across the road rang me to ask if I could hear a banging noise. She was flabbergasted when I told her that is my neighbour.

We haven’t used our garden as much this last year partly due to it being undone as we had a small extension so haven’t gotten round to the garden. Not sure how it will work out when we have to sit in the garden.

I have a 12,10 and 4.5 year old and yes they ply around but without the constant screaming and bounding up and down the stairs (they do that but I tell them to stop when they do).

Kids playing and normal chatter fine, constant ball kicking for 5 hours not fine, pls go to the park . I had a migraine today and went for a lie down, in the midst of constant ball kicking.

Finally, DH took the kids to his mother a few weekends ago. I was asleep and could hear what I thought were my keeps running up and down the stairs. Only woke up to the realisation that it was next door making the racket. We are stairs to stairs with good insulation, I look forward to moving to a detached property soon and no I don’t send messages or anything like that. During the day I close my windows only at night I tell him to stop the noise.