DIDNT buy partner’s sister fiancé a gift

[UniqueGoldNewt]

Hi! Just wanted people’s opinions.. for background Ive been with my partner coming up a year and have only met his mother once, his sister and her fiancé twice. They are marrying next year i will add (late 2026).
So from the start of Xmas gift buying my partner told me that his mother and sister were buying me something small from each of them. I was told not to bother buying his sister’s fiancé a gift as it was not his immediate family plus he wasn’t buying me anything. I also didn’t think blokes were too bothered (met him twice) & it was more for the women of the immediate family like a woman thing. We left it at this happily.
anyways i get in tonight after an evening out with good friends & my partner calls me. It is a normal call speaking about tomorrows plans but then he goes on to say that a week or so ago he was on the phone to his sister and told her very bluntly (just how he is and was harmlessly neutral) that I didn’t get her partner anything. Apparently sister had put him on loudspeaker and her fiancé heard and got quite upset. I was quite taken aback and told him that I was told not to and it wasn’t a big deal as I don’t think a man ive met twice would care so much for a gift from his fiancées brothers girlfriend, im sorry. I included his name in the card so it’s not like I didn’t acknowledge the bloke! It was harmless i was told not to as Hes not immediate family yet & he also hadn’t bought me anything. But now im told by partner that he contributed to the present from the family. I understand that he feels put out and it wouldn’t have hurt to buy him a nice box of chocolates for a few quid but surely this is a little bit OTT? I acknowledged him in the card and I do get on with him i think hes lovely. If I knew that he had contributed to my gift I would of bought him something or given it more thought!
I sent my partner some money tonight and bought the bloke 2 big bars of quality street and a mini box of Lindt, partner kindly wrapped them up and put them in the bag with his sister & mum’s gifts so everyone has presents. I told partner that if anyone says anything to just say I got him something ages ago and it got mislaid in a bag with my brother’s presents but doesn’t this just seem a little bit of a joke? Apparently he was really upset and put out. I asked my partner for his sister‘s contact details to sort it out but he begged me not to mention it as he said she will have a go and take it out on him for telling me.
any opinions? I just hope this is resolved now as Hes now got a present wrapped to be given with the others so no one is left out now. Either way ive definitely learnt my lesson now. Fml xxx lol

Run, they all sound like a bunch of thick bell ends.

This is extremely bizarre.

Did your partner get him a present? We would in my family. But then my husband would just stick his name on the same card.

I don’t buy a present for BILs gf. DH does, I put my name on the label.

Your partner is lying to you and throwing you under the bus. I'd be walking away.

Your partner seems to be the issue here really. I wonder why he decided to tell his sister so ‘bluntly’ about you not getting him a present. I wonder why he told you a week later. I wonder why the fiancee put towards a ‘family’ gift for you but you were told you were getting a small present from his mum and sister individually. I wonder why he doesn’t want you to mention it to his sister when she will know you know because you are now giving him THREE types of chocolate! What a load of pointless silly drama. Id be watching all of them carefully to see the dynamics if you are with them today.

Your dp is the problem here. Why did he tell you not to get him anything. Then told his sister that but failed to tell you the outcome. It sounds like gifts are very ott at their house next time he needs to put your name on what he buys. If you can be with someone who doesn’t have your back that is.

Good lord - why the massive focus on gifts for adults. Honestly it causes so much upset and it’s so pointless, I don’t do it and I don’t understand why it’s so important - how does someone being told to wrap up some chocolate make anyone feel good. It’s so needy.

Run and then run a bit more. You are setting yourself up for years and years of drama . My bet is that later in the year, when they marry, you will be excluded in some way ( invitation to nothing/ only evening do blah blah) because you are 'only' a girlfriend

Up thread she says her boyfriend got his sister's fiance a gaming chair! Which is an insanely expensive gift unless the relationship is incredibly close he's actually OP's boyfriend's fiance

Ever much this

This is your partner's fault. He absolutely set you up here. Why might that be?

Any normal person would stick your name on the card. I have been with DH over 20 years and for the first 6 years we weren't married. Not once bought a separate gift for anyone in his family.

Getting upset, a grown man because he hasn't been give a present?
God I hope he wasn't shaking and sobbing about it because I think your partners sister should be reconsidering marriage to him if he was that upset.
Weird situation all round with all of them tbh.

Exactly this. Your name goes on his presents and you can decide between you whether you contribute.

My ex’s mum was like this - insistent that I had to buy them all separate presents because they were buying me. She couldn’t understand that her & husband getting me a present was the same as me & boyfriend getting her a present.

Your gift is from sister & fiancé so fiancé’s present is from you & your boyfriend. I’d argue it’s you that’s being treated like the outsider.

Run.
When Christmas gifting is this complicated and fraught, well it doesn't bode well for the real/unavoidable complications in life.

How is yours the third comment saying this. There are others comments before you saying don’t worry etc! Than goodness you responded with this answer!!
This is the only response.
WTF are you (OP) doing??? It’s not your job. And you paid???
I despair what I read on here!! His family his responsibility!!

Sorry I missed that - all the more reason to just stick her name on the gift tag!

I suspect that your partner actually “bluntly” told his sister that he had told you her fiancé “wasn’t immediate family”, and that the fiancé was upset about that rather than specifically the present.

i hate people who are “blunt but harmless” or “just tell it how it is”. It’s just another way of saying they don’t give a damn about anyone else’s feelings. He clearly doesn’t care about yours or he would have either told you a week ago when you could have done something about it or just kept quiet.

It's your partner's family... so it's his responsibility.
And wtf are you sending him money?!

Nah, presents from your partner are from you as well. This is a bizarre set up.

I think your partner actually sounds like a complete dick in all this. Can’t understand his motivation for telling you not to bother in the first place, bluntly telling his sister you haven’t got anything and then telling you that you’ve caused offence. Now after all his stirring he’s insisting you don’t mention it.
suspect if you did you would hear another side to story. Red flags at half mast with this one!

The sisters fiancé is clearly not quite an adult yet.

They are being ridiculous.

Pathetic! Don’t worry

Something’s not adding up here at all - it’s all bonkers and someone’s telling porkies.
I’ll bet a pound to a piece of shit he didn’t contribute to your joint gift at all. Your DP should have just added your name to his gifts.
A grown man doesn’t sulk about not receiving token gifts from someone he’s met twice when he’s not been out and bought anything himself 🤷🏼‍♀️
Think no more of it- not your problem.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

I think you’re being manipulated.

You need to give yourself a gift - dump him.

THAT is weird. I always include my dh on gifts for my family and he does the same for his side. Your partner is a twat and the man who sulked for not getting a gift is a baby.