Xmas is just not the same with teenage DC- feeling sorry for myself self

[Whitegrenache]

I am Probabky going to be told IABU, however it has hit me tonight how much less I am enjoying Xmas now that DC are older. I’m aware I’m probably feeling sorry for myself!

i have done everything for Xmas as usual food presents decorations etc all whilst working full time in a job which is full on and feel a bit sad and resentful

I had a massive fall out with DP last week as he doesn’t want me to invite my (D) brother to Xmas day (along with my parents) but I felt guilty as mum asked if he could come as he would have otherwise been alone, and I felt put on the spot and couldn’t say no.
DP refuses to stay at home for dinner and is now going to his mothers for day leaving me with my family and DC to cook for and somehow trying to explain to them why he isn’t there

DD 19 has gone out with her mates tonight which she is perfectly entitled to do.
DD 16 is on his Xbox in his room
DP and I have sat on the sofa watching TV all night

I can’t help feeling sad that my Christmases are going to be different from now on and I need to accept it.

any advice from others in a similar situation to adjust so I can be better prepared for next year?

One thing my family did was get a new board game or quiz game or something and play that Christmas afternoon once there were no small children. It would be a good Christmas Eve gift to get teens spending time together

I might be the minority but I prefer it 🙂 Ds1 is 19 and Ds2 is 12. Ds1 was out last night but was still here by 7:40am to see us and his little brother. He even bought us presents this year which I was gobsmacked about and they were all thoughtful presents as well 🙂

I dont feel like I have to creep around anymore, pretending Santa has been. We're sat all together chilling out looking at gigs for next year whilst we have 'All Time Low' blasting out lol 😆 OH is just getting ready so a nice lazy morning for all of us 😊 MIL was meant to be coming round but she's poorly, so will see her another day. It's so much more chilled and I love it 😁

I’m very grateful for everyone’s reply’s. I appreciate hearing both sides and I did apologise to DP yesterday which he accepted with good grace. I will learn to put some boundaries in place. My DB actually was very well behaved and brought a small gift for everyone which we were very grateful for.
DP had a drink with everyone before going to see his mum then when he returned home parents were still there and everyone was perfectly pleasant.

upon reflection my post was focusing on the wrong things. My teenaged kids are an absolute delight and got involved in everything all day. I need to see the joy in what a different Christmas looks like now and better manager communication with my DP.

Thanks everyone and happy Christmas to you

Great that it all went ok in the end. How did DP explain the fact that he was going off to his parents? Did your own family not think it was odd?

I think DP has a point there. You did what your mum wanted rather than saying you needed a bit of time to discuss. I would be annoyed if DO invited someone I dislike without checking it was ok. Sulking and disappearing on the day was OTT though!

I felt this way too this year. Neither kid believes in Santa so there's no Christmas magic anymore. It's just the 4 of us so no party or anything. The kids sat in their rooms and DH and I did some quizzes on YouTube. Was all a bit underwhelming. It's been boring as hell since Xmas too. Kids have been holes away for days. Only seeing them for meal times. sigh