I never want to host again

[flutterby4]

I am just utterly knackered. Weeks and weeks of rushing around, organising gifts, wrapping gifts, buying endless food. Today we have hosted people for a buffet and spent all day cleaning the house, preparing food, cleaning up after them and by that time it was bedtime. There’s been no opportunity to just chill.
Tomorrow we are hosting family for lunch and it will be much the same.
I like to see people at Christmas and I don’t mind buying and doing the food but it just leaves no time for lounging about or taking the day as it comes, popping out for a walk if you fancy it or whatever.
I kind of feel that Christmas will always be a bit like this while the kids are young because we will of course always do dinners and gifts for them. I would just love some time alone at home to relax and enjoy it how I want to.
Oh and I can’t even blame Dh for not helping because he’s been rushed off his feet too and will be doing the majority of the cooking tomorrow. Gah!

Yes, I did the same with adult dc a few years ago too. They're brilliant. But we never wrapped santa presents anyway so there's no saving in that.

1 day hosting 10 people is enough for me - today l will be eating cheese and watching tv although will go for a walk at some point.

I feel the same, having hosted different groups on 21st, 22nd, 24th and 25th.

It makes sense from a logistics point of view, we have enough space, we're both (DH and I) "good" at hosting. But it's exhausting.

So today, we're having our own version of Christmas just DH, DD and me. We got up late, had the breakfast we want without worrying about tidying it away before guests arrive, we're going to watch at least two films, and play games. All the Christmassy things that are impossible when you're cleaning, cooking, and replenishing food and drinks for 12 hours at a time.

Absolutely this! You have choices, OP, so use them!
If you can afford it, you could book a holiday next Christmas.
Otherwise, just stay at home on your own.

You don’t have to host people for two days though. That is a choice.

Yeah. Don’t do it again.

I hate having visitors over Christmas. I currently have a very passive, dull visitor who has no conversation skills, doesn’t want to do anything and just hangs around me all the time. Two more days of it.

I enjoy it but it is utterly exhausting! We went to bed at 10 last night and didn’t wake up till ten this morning 🤣 thankfully we have nothing to do today apart from eat and doze on the sofa

I’ve learnt the hard way to not host two days consecutively. It’s exhausting (even though it’s lovely to see family and see the kids happy etc). Ask one of the others to host one of the days next year, but if your house is the only option, choose one day to cook and one day for a takeaway.

Do you expect other people to.host you though? Sometimes people who accept invitations but never reciprocate are cheeky.

Hope you had some good times along the way and can have a quiet day today.

Agreed that hosting two days in a row is insanely difficult. Also look for corner cutting tips next year. Maybe write them down while it’s all still fresh in mind…

OP, I get it. One year I hosted some of my family for Christmas lunch and then the rest arrived at tea time so we fed everyone again.

They all left late evening and then on Boxing Day DP’s parents and DB arrived at 11.00am and stayed for a few days, Before they left, there was an overlap with DSIL and her family and they stayed a couple of days too.

By the time everyone had finally gone we were exhausted, poorer and vowing never to host like that again.

And we haven’t.

We see my family Christmas Eve for the evening only, DSIL and her family for a few days between Christmas and New Year and ILs as and when it’s convenient.

It is fine to put the brakes on and say you are not hosting again and it’s fine to have a very simple Christmas at home.

Do not feel obliged to have people just because it’s their expectation. Sometimes it’s OK to put yourself first.

Next year book a table for your immediate family at a pub and tell everyone if they'd like to join you it's £x for Xmas set meal. This way you get to see everyone but it will cost you less money and stress. Then you get to go home to relax and watch a film in your pj's.

I agree with others, we make our own choices. We are in total control of having the Christmas we want. I keep mine simple which means it’s stress free

But like, it's not very xmassy is it? We did the same as OP and as I was chatting to our guests I thought how it was so nice and if it had just me me, DH, and the kids it would have been just any other day.
Having family round makes it special, but it is a lot of work.

No, I don't, actually.

Thanks all, it was better than expected. Dh did an amazing job with the food. Now I’m relaxed on the sofa with chocolates and party food I feel ok about it. I think it’s just the run up that feels so chaotic and overwhelming. Hope everyone else had a lovely day and you’re right, next year we’ll try for an invite somewhere else on Xmas eve!

Enjoy your day xx

So why do you do it? Why do it in a row? You could outsource- get the house cleaned professionally as a one off for example. And frankly what is all this ‘rushing around’? Order food online, buy presents online or dedicate one afternoon to a mall. I mean I’m a widow and do it all at my house as my son lives away (though he did come for a couple days to help buy and put the tree up), my DD is at uni so didn’t come back til halfway through the month. So I did all the decorating, all the cards, all the food ordering, presents etc - even managed a visit to my FIL. And it was no big deal.
When my DH was alive we did Christmas Day hosting my parents then the next hosting his family - so two days in a row 8 plus people and that was not a big deal either - work yes. But he cooked (and was a tidy cook) and I cleaned etc and it worked well. And we were able to have the week from Christmas to New Year off to relax the rest of the time.
Take the pressure off yourself next year.

I feel a bit like that. We had friends over Christmas eve and the in-laws yesterday,
This morning we went to the beach with Mil and sil because some of the kids wanted to have a dip in the sea.
Later on today we are expected to Mil for dinner.
I'm very tired and I've had a lot of the in-laws and I don't want to go. This is the routine every year and I always feel like this. Im thinking of developing a tummy bug or something like that so I can stay home.

Fair enough. Don’t, then.

I guess you are just a more organised, more capable host than me.

Don’t do it then! We host over Christmas a lot - but I quite enjoy the chaos of it.

I see my family loads throughout the year so we don't need to see them at Christmas to "make it special".

M and s is your friend, book a pick up cook in trays provided throw trays away simples, the food is always delicious and you can chill hardly any washing up.
Alternatively don't be a martyr and don't do it, you can't have it all ways, I don't like going to people's houses because I'm auti9and I can't decompress anywhere, but I also hate hosting because peeps get on my tits eventually and won't take the hint and fuck off, you can't win at Crimbo unfortunately.

How can 30% say yabu! You are not op ! And Christmas 💐to all you other Christmas hosts of large groups out there you are the super stars of the nation.