AIBU to think Christmas with small children is not fun?

[Tiredallthetime7]

Why does nobody talk about how utterly shit Christmas with young children is?

First time Mum to a 2 year old, his behaviour has been incredibly difficult recently with throwing things at people (I'm talking books etc not just light things), hitting, scratching, tantrums over everything, constant twining. Any attempt at nice activities e.g. doing what he wants to do like going to the beach or out for cake just make him act more spoilt!

Since finishing work all I've done is raise my voice and shout at him, all the festivities and nice feelings I had in mind literally feel very far removed from reality. Yet social media makes it look and sound like everyone is having a precious time.

AIBU to think that Christmas with children this young is actually just a bit shit?

your problem has nothing to do with Christmas or even young children in general.
Your particular child seems to be going through a hard time that happens to coincide with the Christmas period.
my child never hit or scratched anyone, nothing to do with my parenting I’m sure. People are all different, the excitement/stress could be making his issues worse.
I can almost guarantee you next Christmas will be better, try to find some strategies to get through it and take what you can from it, maybe lower your expectations as well, there is a lot of pressure for Christmas to be perfect, it’s not, it never will be but you can still have a good ish time and make some traditions maybe?

4-6 was peak excitement for us. DS is 7 and I can already feel it's different - he still believes in Santa (I think) but we've knocked a lot of what turned out to be short-lived "traditions" on the head this year and he's not been bothered. Examples - going to the local massive garden centre to choose a decoration and see the displays, lights at Longleat, writing a list for Santa. We can definitely tell we have spent less this December!

That's a bit depressing. My 6 year old is so excited and I sort of feel sad we haven't got many more years of it. It's so magical at this age.
I'll be very sad if it only goes downhill from here. I stopped believing in Santa when I was 11.

My youngest is nearly 4 and I have a 5 1/2 Yr old and 10 Yr old. The two younger ones are soo much better this year! Last year was absolutely awful which is such a shame as it turned out to be my older ones last Christmas believing. Luckily she doesn't remember the rubbish side of the younger two arguments etc, she remembers the nice bits and has loved helping this year.
Sorry back on point! I really think tomorrow will be so much better than last year, the build up certainly has been.

I think it might depend on the child.

My eldest (4.5) is very into it all, but has become a bit overwhelmed and exhausted and went to bed this evening after an extremely un-festive tantrum. Last Christmas with him was quite awful as he kind of knew what was going on but just got really hyped up and out of his usual routine and his behaviour was not so great. The build up has been much better this year so I’m hoping tomorrow will be OK.

Current 2.5yo has her 2yo moments but is generally a delight, if a bit stubborn. Seems to take more easily to a change of plan than her big brother. Very keen on the prospect of reindeer though obviously doesn’t get the full Christmas Eve thing.

8mo is clueless and lovely.

By mid December I am magic-d out. I don’t like it, never have. But it’s hard to express discomfort with it without being accused of being some sort of destroyer of childhood.

You have a child problem not a Christmas problem.

Your child behaving as he does and you shouting at him are not normal. Despite what some may claim it isn’t normal behaviour for 2 year olds to throw things and have regular tantrums.

Christmas with my then 2 year old DS was amazing. It was his first Christmas when he had some understanding of what was happening and it remains one of my most cherished memories.

it isn’t normal for two year olds to have regular tantrums

Seriously? It’s literally what they’re renowned for!

Exactly, no none of this is normal

It is absolutely 100% shit. Around 4 it gets easier.

Having spent a couple of hours yesterday with my friends two children (6 and 8), I honestly have no idea how people find any of it fun. They were so wild it wasn’t even funny- leaping on furniture, climbing on people, getting right in peoples faces and coughing and sneezing on them, screaming at the top of their voices.
Friend and her husband just sat there beaming at how wonderfully excited their children were.
I’m sure not every child is like that (and I know my own parents would not have tolerated that sort of behaviour!) but I couldn’t wait to get away and go home to my nice child-free home.
I actually can’t wait til these kids are teenagers and just grunting at people from the inside of their hoodies. The small child stage is just not for me at all.

It's actually been lovely! So much less pressure and more time together instead of trying to find places to park at packed venues.

I think have preconceived notions of how beautiful and perfect Christmas can be with a two year old doesn’t help. He sounds over stimulated- calm things down don’t do so much and don’t react to his throwing things - he’s getting a rise out of you and the quickest way to make it stop is to ignore it. Hope things improve for you.

That performance was probably for your benefit too - they were communicating their exite - not surprising that you weren’t impressed but it’s likely they stopped when you left.

Yeah the screaming is typical of my experience too. Gross

Just stumbled upon this post from googling how I’m feeling and so glad to see it’s not just me. I have a 15 month old and on social media people keep saying how magical it is etc. last year he was a sleepy 3 month old so my expectations this year were it would be better, it’s been lovely to see him open his gifts but he’s been all over the place and extremely hard work, overstimulated by all the family he doesn’t see much being over and just tantruming and crying a lot, not playing with his toys. We’ve been at a family members completely un babyproofed house today and it’s just been exhausting trying to stop him breaking every ornament in sight. He’s got no interest in the presents really. During Christmas dinner yesterday I had to storm upstairs with him and give him a bath as he threw food all over the floor and plastered himself in it while having a complete meltdown the entire meal, refusing to eat anything. It’s just been a far cry from these magical perfect christmases you see on social media. I feel utterly exhausted and to be honest incredibly stressed at the amount more of family socialising we have to do until the 31st. I just want to get home and put my feet up!

so you’re not alone and let’s hope in another year for you or two for me (!) things will be more manageable.

The myth of a ‘magical Christmas with young children’ is one of the greatest marketing cons I’ve ever known.

As PP have said, it gets better at age 3 and then by 4, you’re usually in business. 0-2 is absolutely horrendous. When I read about other people’s Christmas holidays spent ‘snuggling’ on the sofa watching movies, playing fun family board games over a leisurely ‘picky tea’ and a glass of fizz, they might as well be describing life on planet Mars.

My DD is 3 this year and it has been lovely. She has a much better understanding of what’s going on. Hang in there!
You’re not wrong though - it’s a lot of work!!

I really sympathise, but we've just had xmas with all our dc and gc (and my mum). Yes, it was tiring, but also great and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Neither of my siblings have gc and, frankly, their Xmases look pretty dull.