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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be panicking vasectomy reversal didn’t work today…

39 replies

WorriedWilma0 · 23/12/2025 21:07

DG had a reversal today after having a V 12 years ago
I hsxe no children and after a lot of talking over the last few years we decided to try this route as all my fertility testing was good

Surgeon said it was an easy reconnection but the semen was thick and cloudy - possibly due to the length of time

Everywhere I have read says that this indicates a blockage higher up and a more advanced type of reversal is needed

I did put this to him but he shut me down and said it doesn’t always indicate this and those types of reversals are nowhere near as effective so this was the best option

Feel like my DH has possibly been through an ordeal for nothing aside from being £5000 worse off 😢

OP posts:
Sillysoggyspaniel · 23/12/2025 21:18

This was always the risk. Reversals work sometimes but by no means always. And even if it does work, it doesn't mean it will be easy to get and stay pregnant. It's going to be a potentially long road but one step at a time.

Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 23/12/2025 21:24

Sillysoggyspaniel · 23/12/2025 21:18

This was always the risk. Reversals work sometimes but by no means always. And even if it does work, it doesn't mean it will be easy to get and stay pregnant. It's going to be a potentially long road but one step at a time.

The surgeon seemed positive but I don’t know why and just said he had cleaned it out and hopefully it will now flow easier??

And I don’t know why he didn’t want to attempt the other way aside from it taking longer I guess

OP posts:
PineappleGrape · 23/12/2025 21:24

What’s DG. Grandad?

Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 23/12/2025 21:25

I found him very dismissive so just feeling low I guess

OP posts:
Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 23/12/2025 21:25

Sorry should say DH

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 23/12/2025 21:26

DG?

Namechanged47 · 23/12/2025 21:27

Well, yes, pretty unreasonable. It's been 12 years, so you've been with him for ages and knew he'd had a vasectomy, and it's easy to find out that the success of reversal is pretty variable and decreases somewhat with time.

Also unreasonable because if surgery happened today, you've given it zero time to find out whether it has in fact worked, and the surgeon is likely to have considerably more professional experience to draw on and likely did have a reason for the decision, even if he didn't manage to successfully communicate it to you.

It's very sad for those involved, but neither reversals nor IVF nor any other fertility treatments are guaranteed. But you can't tell anything at all on the day of the surgery, so try to be patient and see what happens over the next few months.

Poms · 23/12/2025 21:29

WorriedWilma0 · 23/12/2025 21:07

DG had a reversal today after having a V 12 years ago
I hsxe no children and after a lot of talking over the last few years we decided to try this route as all my fertility testing was good

Surgeon said it was an easy reconnection but the semen was thick and cloudy - possibly due to the length of time

Everywhere I have read says that this indicates a blockage higher up and a more advanced type of reversal is needed

I did put this to him but he shut me down and said it doesn’t always indicate this and those types of reversals are nowhere near as effective so this was the best option

Feel like my DH has possibly been through an ordeal for nothing aside from being £5000 worse off 😢

Kindly, why do you think you know better than the doctor, simply because you have done a bit of googling?

Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 23/12/2025 21:40

Poms · 23/12/2025 21:29

Kindly, why do you think you know better than the doctor, simply because you have done a bit of googling?

Show quote history

Point taken
The lack of communication took me by surprise I guess so I panicked

OP posts:
Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 23/12/2025 22:18

I

OP posts:
calminggreen · 23/12/2025 22:35

Why did you wait this long for a reversal? Statistics are well known that reversal success rates is lower depending on how since original procedure

AntonDeck · 23/12/2025 22:35

calminggreen · 23/12/2025 22:35

Why did you wait this long for a reversal? Statistics are well known that reversal success rates is lower depending on how since original procedure

This. How old are you OP? I'd prepare for it not to work due to the length of time.

Sonolanona · 23/12/2025 22:41

My DH had a reversal for reasons I won't go into, only 2 years after his vasectomy. Sadly for us ( I was still very fertile) it didn't work. Hopefully it will for you, but I think you have to be realistic and just wait and see.

TheCountessAtChristmas · 23/12/2025 22:43

12 years is a long time for a reversal! However its only day 1 and you will need to.wait and see what happens next!

Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 23/12/2025 22:57

Sonolanona · 23/12/2025 22:41

My DH had a reversal for reasons I won't go into, only 2 years after his vasectomy. Sadly for us ( I was still very fertile) it didn't work. Hopefully it will for you, but I think you have to be realistic and just wait and see.

Did they tell you why it didn’t work?
I’m sorry x

OP posts:
Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 23/12/2025 22:59

The surgeon didn’t seem fazed at all at the 12 years because he has proven fertility and is still young

I am just a bit taken aback that everywhere online says thick semen indicates a higher blockage however he completely shut me down and said this isn’t always the case

I know I need to wait but it’s a lot of money which we saved for a long time for - hence the wait

OP posts:
Sonolanona · 23/12/2025 23:22

It just didn't.. and our youngest was only a few years old when it was reversed so DH had been very fertile til then.

Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 24/12/2025 08:58

Maybe I shouldn’t have felt so optimistic byt the surgeon really seemed hopeful both before and after which threw me

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 24/12/2025 09:02

You are paying the surgeon for his years of training and expertise. He’s used his clinical judgment, which trumps your five minutes on Google.

Didimum · 24/12/2025 09:09

Stop googling, OP. Sorry, but you need to gain some acceptance here rather than allow your anxiety to drive you (and eventually your relationship) into the ground. You chose to marry a man who’d had a vasectomy – it is what it is. Reversal may or may not work, regardless of how much you spend and how much googling you do. You can’t control the outcome, as distressing as that is. Stop expending energy in trying to and start putting that energy into your own mental wellbeing.

KiwiFall · 24/12/2025 09:21

Maybe it worked and maybe not. I understand you have got your hopes up but the surgeon obviously felt it was worthwhile trying. I assume he said beforehand there’s no guarantee and gave statistics? As frustrating as it is you will just have to wait and see.

IsItSnowing · 24/12/2025 09:48

Surgeons can be a bit dismissive when you imply you know more than them about their specialty. I don't think you can read much into that.
Since you've done your research you'll know that this might work, might not. There are no gurantees. The surgeon said it went ok. Go with that for now and hope for the best.

Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 24/12/2025 10:11

Thank you for all the replies xx

OP posts:
NewGoldFox · 24/12/2025 10:12

I can understand you’re feeling anxious about it all but give it a couple of months 🙂 have fun in the mean time!

Original poster
WorriedWilma0 · 24/12/2025 12:13

I know I need to just see what happens
I’m rubbish with the unknown!
Thanks ☺️

OP posts:
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