To have to do an ‘Emma Thompson’ this Christmas?

[Changes26]

We all know the scene from ‘Love Actually’. AIBU to think I’m not the only one who is doing an Emma Thompson this Christmas? I.e. putting a brave face on whilst everything else crumbles around you?

You can share why you’re Emma Thompsoning your way through the festive period or just give a knowing nod whilst you scream inside.

Me? I’ve split up with my partner as I’ve realised it’s a toxic relationship after an incident last week. I’ve told no one and he’s back home after 4 night away. I am just smiling through it all so our daughter doesn’t have a shit Christmas and more difficult memories to work through in future therapy.

Separation, divorce, grief, bereavement, complicated family, homelessness or financial ruin?

Here’s to getting through the next few days and a brighter 2026!

I am ETing right now. We are separated and moving out in just a few weeks and I’ve lost my ability to smile and nod. I’m sitting in my bedroom. There is no Christmas spirit here, and I’m letting the kids down so badly tonight.

So sorry to hear @Tillymint1234. It’s awful to have a confirmed cancer diagnosis… but not to have any idea about the prognosis. Sending you love and hoping that you get some positive news about treatment options.

Divorce, still living together and he's all happiness and light, had a go at me for being 'difficult and manipulative' after I objected to him taking the kids out all day to visit his sister as she doesn't get to see them much. It's bloody christmas eve, I want to spend it with my kids, if she cared for them that much she'd visit more than once every 18 months.

And he's fucked off to the gym and left me to deal with ADHD DS, massively excited and still not asleep. Who the fuck goes to the gym till 10pm on Christmas eve if they have young kids?!!!

My dad had a stroke last Christmas eve. And he's just had a third one this Christmas eve. He's not expected to make it through the night. My nine year old is devastated. I'm so sorry for all of you going through similar ❤

@SparklyAmberRaven I’m so sorry. When I light a candle tonight to have some time to reflect, I will think of your dad.

I’ll also be thinking of everyone on here, especially those who have lost someone or have a loved one who is very ill. I’ll especially be thinking of the women who have lost their children and I will be thinking of them and you; that loss is beyond any words I have but I’m sending you peace.

To all the women on here holding the fort to make Christmas for everyone else, and holding in everything that they actually feel, whilst barely having the energy to stay on their feet...

Like ET you will get through it somehow because that's what we do, we somehow just keep going, until there is a moment for us to draw breath.

Take care of yourselves, even if that's just a moment sat next to the Christmas Tree in the dark. 2025 has been so difficult for so many good people, may peace and rest find you in 2026.

I’m so humbled by what people are going through, it makes my troubles seem so small. Suffice to say I’m giving an Emma T worthy Oscar performance every day and have my ET moments in the shower where I can sob without being heard.

Sending love and strength to all of you.

Dear Irotoyu that is the first thing I thought of.. why then.. as well as why at all, of course. Utter selfishness it makes me feel rage. He thought only of himself because everyone insanely thinks that Christmas is for them, about their pleasure.
This is why I find it such a dangerous time. I’m always bit relieved when it’s over.

I’m ET ing it this year because for the first time ever I have not heard from my son.. or his wife and three young children aged six to thirteen. I will ring him tomorrow and wish them a happy Christmas and pretend everything is normal. Luckily I have a daughter, who doesn’t have kids, so she and her husband and our two dogs are going to the beach. At least it’s not muddy at the beach. As they don’t have visitors this year… through death and family breakups.
And as I sit alone in my house on Christmas Eve I think of the times the house was full, mum up from London, cooking mince pies, relief that at last the shops were closed, so we couldn’t buy any more stuff, visitors dropping in, so many staying.. so quiet now.
The thing is I am not sure how my son’s family is, as his youngest disabled daughter has been in intensive care for much of this year and his wife and the other two beautiful daughters have all been diagnosed with a dreadful muscular dystrophy which affects their brain as well as their bodies. So much I don’t know. As he doesn’t talk about it. We’ll pretend everything is fine and wonderful tomorrow.

Wishing us all some comfort and joy at this very unreal magical but challenging time.
Xxx

Thank you, that's so kind - big love to everyone holding it together this christmas!

My husband is seriously ill and this may be his last Christmas, or at least his last Christmas with any cognition. 😢 trying to tough it out for the grandchildren’s sake.

I am so sorry for each of you going through such sad times. It’s hard to put on a brave face when you just can’t see any brightness. I hope the coming year brings better times for you all.

I really can’t wait for this year to come to an end, it has been one of the most testing years ever, my health has suffered dramatically firstly broke my wrist so I haven’t been able to work since May and due to complications I have got to see a hand specialist beginning of January, I’ve had a very bad chest infection last month, now I have an eye problem along with eczema that has broken all out all over my face due to stress. My relationship came to an end in October after almost 17 years of being with my ex. My children will be with their dad on Christmas day as I had no choice but to walk out of the family home due to morgage being in ex name and it is my children’s home😥I am at the moment in temporary accommodation. I am having to put on a brave face every day when behind closed doors I am breaking down. I will be spending Christmas Day with my friend and her family. I won’t be seeing my children till day after Boxing Day. I have no family near by. I will struggle to get through Christmas Day and finding everything difficult on a daily basis , all the while having to put on a brave face when I do see my children and hold everything in and make out all is ok to anyone I bump into as u don’t want anyone knowing what has happened.

im sending hugs to everyone who is going to suffer or struggle and find Christmas period so difficult god bless you all x

Dear Bobbadee
You are so gracious to think of all of us when your trials are so overwhelming. I m thinking of YOU tonight wishing i could take some sadness from you and also hoping you get little drops of pleasure amidst your pain over Christmas xx

@bobadee you are a beautiful spirit, not only to struggle with your own heartbreaking issues but to acknowledge everyone's suffering takes a special woman. With love xxx

Tears are falling reading your stories, life is so cruel and unjust sometimes. My life is probably a bit easier than you brave women but I am finding things hard since my mum died 2 years ago and my estranged brother attacked me a week after her death. The police did nothing and I live in fear from him. Mum didn't leave a will and his behaviour is linked to years of drug and alcohol abuse and a mistaken belief he owns her property.
2 years of fear, attacks on my property, and a protracted legal battle with him has affected my health - diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago and think it might have returned after initial successful surgery. Also facing major bowel surgery and a likely stoma.

I wish you all strength, peace and light going into 2026.

Try to get through but remember not to deny your own feelings too

Sending love and prayers to you all 🤍

I pray for everyone who is going through stuff. On the day we celebrate his birth, I reflect and remind myself that Jesus truly brings hope as a believer. I find strength in him and pray that you do too.🙏

Sending love and light to everyone ETing this Christmas. You are stronger than you think you are but it is so unfair that you need to be.

I actually found earrings in my ex-husbands pocket when he asked me to look for something for him. I put them back and said nothing. I received different earrings on Christmas morning. I had had my suspicions which were now confirmed. I said nothing that day so as to not spoil it for our three children. I was secretly glad as I now knew where I stood. Obviously we got divorced.

My audhd teen will stay in bed all day ( wake around 3/4pm). I have her Chinese for dinner whilst I will, as always cook myself a xmas dinner. She never buys me a present ( I offer her money). She will open her presents and go back to bed, where she lives!. She never leaves the house. I wish she was 6 again!

My eldest who resides with dad never buys me anything either but at least she was greatful for all her presents and I actually got a hug from her this year .
I spend it alone and its just another day.
I put so much effort t in and spend so much and get so little back.
Next year im going to volunteer at a homeless charity...
But as this post shows there's always people so.much worse off...

This is not your fault … you are enough and he is disrespectful of you .
Take care of yourself x

I hope that there is something today that makes everyone genuinely smile, even if it’s just a brief one. Sending love to everyone being so brave and Merry Christmas. ❤️

Wishing you all peace and strength today. Thank you OP for starting this thread.

Hi to each and every one of you sending you all hugs today thinking of you all.
life can be absolutely fucking awful whether it’s Christmas or not today is not always a special occasion for some of us and your posts are heartbreaking.