To have to do an ‘Emma Thompson’ this Christmas?

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We all know the scene from ‘Love Actually’. AIBU to think I’m not the only one who is doing an Emma Thompson this Christmas? I.e. putting a brave face on whilst everything else crumbles around you?

You can share why you’re Emma Thompsoning your way through the festive period or just give a knowing nod whilst you scream inside.

Me? I’ve split up with my partner as I’ve realised it’s a toxic relationship after an incident last week. I’ve told no one and he’s back home after 4 night away. I am just smiling through it all so our daughter doesn’t have a shit Christmas and more difficult memories to work through in future therapy.

Separation, divorce, grief, bereavement, complicated family, homelessness or financial ruin?

Here’s to getting through the next few days and a brighter 2026!

Very humbled reading this. I was going to moan, but I feel after reading this thread, my moan is really insignificant.

ETing my way through Christmas with my 2 kids like I do every year as Christmas is a hugely triggering time of year for me. Years of abuse at the hands of my SF with my 'DM' watching on and doing nothing. Christmas was the absolute worst one for me as it meant SF was always drunk, which meant violence and abuse, both physical and mental. That man ruined every childhood Christmas i had, do memories aren't great. I struggle with daily triggers in December particularly Christmas and Boxing day. But I soldier on trying to be happy and make memories for my own kids whilst trying not to let the triggers get to me. DH callously said last night that he'd hoped having lots of Christmases with own our kids might have made new memories to wipe out the bad, if only it we're that easy!

That and I'm once again exhausted making the 'magic' of Christmas happen! All whilst watching everyone around you playing happy families knowing you're NC with most of yours (my choice but it stings esp at this time of year)

Huge hugs to those that need them

Just spent last night until early hours in A&E as FIL had a bad fall. His health is declining rapidly and living situation is precarious. 2nd christmas without my mum and I am in the middle of treatment for breast cancer. My 2 kids, early teens, are desperate for a merry Christmas as we've had years of hospital runs and traumatic times as my mum's health declined before she passed and then almost immediately my fil health problems started. My DH has been amazing through out but it does feel like we're both doing an Emma this christmas. I hope everyone gets a little bit of solace this christmas.

I am so incredibly sorry. Sending so much love xxx

I’m so sorry, this is awful.

Having dealt with a self harming teen DD who seemed to have no regard for her safety at times, I know the constant gnawing fear.

Look after yourself 🖤🖤🖤🖤

@Bangersndmash Sending you so much strength and recovery. I really hope you have many, many more Christmases with your babies. Xx

@AliTheMinx @Dancingsquirrels Sending you both so much love xx

Yes @AliTheMinx I completely agree, those that work to look after and care for others are absolute earth angels. I’m glad your mum is being so well cared for.

My son is trying to self harm and talks about ending his life roughly twice a week during horrific meltdowns. CAMHS have done nothing except add him to year long waiting lists. School are fab but limited in what they can do.
I go to bed every night wondering whether he will be in one piece tomorrow.
we are hosting Christmas so he's in his own environment, family know but no one else does.
On the outside we appear a perfectly "normal" family without a care in the world. I just want to stand outside my house and scream. my life is a long blur of paramedics and appointments
So yes, i will be faking Christmas and trying to hold it together. i wish everyone, love, luck and kindness.

So sorry for everyone going through such hard times. Sending love ❤️❤️

Cancer and chemo, horrible at any time of the year but watching a loved one struggle at Christmas is just heartbreaking

That's so frightening. Good luck with your treatment x

That sounds terrifying. It's a scandal that CAMGS wait lists are so long

I hope you can all get some more support soon and that the next few days are as peaceful as they can be, especially for your son. You sound like an amazing mum. x

I think they should be understanding to your feelings xx

It’s such a memorable scene, and the music especially, makes me really feel it in my heart. I imagine most of us have had that feeling, many times over the years, especially being a mother, there is a feeling of the show must go on. (Most days) 😁

Sending complete understanding to you all today and hopefully there will be some moments of real joy mixed in with it x

Sending lots of love and strength to all, I lost my dad and cousin at Christmas during COVID and it's so hard to pretend everything's ok. Please reach out if you're feeling alone!

I'm so sorry xx

Please reach out to social services and tell them you're in crisis. You need respite or you won't be able to carry on.

I'm so sorry. Does he had any ND ? Camhs are not great. After Christmas, can you go to GP and ask for a referral to for ASD assessment? Or is that what Camhs are supposed to be doing?

Thank you it’s very kind of you to comment. I know from having come across other families in similar situations that we all feel like we are failing our kids when in actual fact the system is failing them.
Despite urgent referral to CAMHS from both school and GP, they didn’t even see him for 7 weeks. CAMHs keep saying ring 111, this means a mental health person rings you back within 4 hours. How does that help me in the moment?

During all these weeks I have begged CAMHS for CBT to start. We eventually borrowed money and managed to get him to start with someone privately. Now CAMHs have said they can’t expedite his CBT from a year wait because we’ve gone privately, but we can’t risk stopping it because they can’t tell us when he’d start with them and we can’t leave him with no treatment because his self harming escalates. They even went as far as saying if they gave him CBT another child wouldnt receive help. Like why is my son less deserving because for help because we have borrowed money.

I digress, I could write a book on the failings. 😭

I'm so sorry so many of you are enduring such awful circumstances. 💐💐💐

It's admirable to put a brave face on things, but there is no shame in being visibly upset at times. Real emotions are better than fake ones, even if they are harder to deal with.

Please remember to take good care of yourselves as well as others. 💗

@CMMMwe had a similarly shite experience with CAMHS when my daughter was actively suicidal. After one particularly horrific appointment I swore I would never make her go back there; we did everything privately from then on, borrowing money to do so.

They put her on Prozac quite quickly and it was like getting the old her back within two days. A miracle.

She went for one CBT session as they made her do it was frontline treatment but she was in too much of a crisis to engage, so I went on and on until they gave her Prozac. I just felt in my gut that’s all it would take.

I am sorry. I know how hard it is. I will be forever different. In fact I’m sitting here very tearful today and this was 2 years ago. The fear and worry will never leave me as far as I can tell.

You are much more to your kids than just a job or a business . No parent never puts a foot wrong , we are all just human . So cut yourself some slack 😉 your children may understand better than you think ,you know.
Every family has their problems behind closed doors at some point , don’t think it’s just you , everyone does .

I once in a dark place ( but not suicidal either) phoned the Samaritans , it was good to get it off my chest anonymously to someone who didn’t know me and Id never meet again.Would that help a bit ?

It will pass !! honestly ,take it from this old woman ,everything does, Xxx

I came on here full of my own misery and self-pity, putting my best ET face on for everyone else while feeling resentful, wounded, hurt. But I've read so many posts from people who have much bigger challenges than I have. I given myself a bit of a slap and and a reminder to myself to be thankful for the things that are good.

Sending heartfelt thoughts to so many of you whole are going through really difficult times 💔

Batshit crazy sister in law up to her usual nasty tricks again, and brother and parents are nodding and agreeing with her,sigh (we've had texts etc saying x says she thinks this and that about our families shes not see any of us in 5 years!). Both DSis & my families are gritting our teeth, fixing the smile on to get through tomorrow. Second world problem considering the others on here, definitely going to be away next year.
Hugs and have a Happy Christmas, however you get through it.