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AIBU?

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Original poster

Received helped, but feel bad!

55 replies

Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:35

I dropped my bunch of keys in a sewer drain at the side of the road. I had just parked and was getting out of the car when my keys fell onto the ground and slid down the drain!

this was after my 13.5 hour shift. I was knackered and just stopped to collect a parcel as it was the last hours.

some people saw me and came to rescue. Someone had a torch with magnet so he offered to give it to me if I pay him 10£.
but later said he can put it in a plastic bag and cellotape it so that way it won’t get damaged.

Another passer saw and said he has a magnet but it’s in at home and for me to wait 10 minutes as he will go home and get it.

while waiting I still tried to look for it but it didn’t work. And he actually came with the magnets!

he helped me to rescue the keys. I offered to pay him but he declined.

i feel so so emotional that people stopped and tried to help. And also this particular person actually went out of his way, went home and came back with the magnet. Even brought water to wash the keys and my hands.

i don’t know this person, don’t even know his name. But I’m so thankful for his help! I feel so bad that he had to do all this :(

should I have just forced to give money/ or buy something from the shop?

i did offer to buy something or give money but he refused and said he is just happy that he was able to help- but I’m feeling so bad.

OP posts:
Blueskiesnotgrey · 22/12/2025 22:38

I don't really understand this. the one wanting money was a chance. You don't have to pay people for being kind and helpful. And the vast majority of people would not expect money or any reward.

ItsDarkNow · 22/12/2025 22:38

Why are you feeling bad?
The vast majority of people are happy to help others without expecting anything in return.

Celestialmoods · 22/12/2025 22:41

Just pay it forward the next time you are in a position to give help to someone who needs it.

greenwithglee · 22/12/2025 22:41

the person asking for money was a chancer.

JLou08 · 22/12/2025 22:44

I think it's unusual to feel bad about someone helping you. Most people would feel grateful and possibly uplifted that there are nice people around.
Why do you think you feel bad? Is it unusual for you to be helped or for you to help others?

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 22/12/2025 22:45

The one asking for a tenner to use his torch was a CF. It was probably only like a fiver max to buy anyway and wouldn't be ruined by rescuing your keys

The other one didn't do it for a reward. Simply pay it forward when you get chance

Original poster
Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:45

ItsDarkNow · 22/12/2025 22:38

Why are you feeling bad?
The vast majority of people are happy to help others without expecting anything in return.

do you think so?
i just feel so bad this guy actually went out of his way, went home and then brought the magnets to help.

I think I’ve never been the one to receive help in general, esp. from strangers, and i am the one who always helps so I feel really emotional about this that I can’t stop crying right now 😭

do you think it’s wctually normal for people to help in this situation like this?

OP posts:
XWKD · 22/12/2025 22:47

Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:45

do you think so?
i just feel so bad this guy actually went out of his way, went home and then brought the magnets to help.

I think I’ve never been the one to receive help in general, esp. from strangers, and i am the one who always helps so I feel really emotional about this that I can’t stop crying right now 😭

do you think it’s wctually normal for people to help in this situation like this?

Show quote history

Any decent human being would help if they could.

VanillaIceIceBaby · 22/12/2025 22:47

It was very nice of the person who helped you to do so. You don’t need to pay a person who helps you.

Allthesnowallthetime · 22/12/2025 22:48

I think the person who helped you feels good that he did so. That's his reward.

Sahara123 · 22/12/2025 22:48

I wouldn’t have wanted money off you if I’d been the one to help, I don’t think many people would.

Original poster
Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:50

JLou08 · 22/12/2025 22:44

I think it's unusual to feel bad about someone helping you. Most people would feel grateful and possibly uplifted that there are nice people around.
Why do you think you feel bad? Is it unusual for you to be helped or for you to help others?

Do you think so? :(
so do you think this is normal like for someone to go home and drive back with the magnets?

this is making me feel a lot better!
i think I’ve always been the one that usually helps people rather than receiving help, and I always feel like I need to repay those who have helped me ( including family members).

so I just feel so bad that I couldn’t pay back for his help, like at least I could’ve paid him something or even a box of chocolates because he went out of his way

OP posts:
tiredofchristmas · 22/12/2025 22:51

I used to have really bad mental health. One of the (few) useful things I learned from therapy is that people WANT to help. It makes them feel good inside. The gain from it just as much as you. So if you’re feeling down, tell someone about it because 99% of the time they’re happy to listen you feel better and they feel better. It’s a win win, even though it’s really hard to take that first step and open up.

And if you need a magnet, tell someone. They’ll get quiet joy out of helping you.

Original poster
Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:53

VanillaIceIceBaby · 22/12/2025 22:47

It was very nice of the person who helped you to do so. You don’t need to pay a person who helps you.

Yes was very nice :( that’s why I feel so bad I didn’t give anything in return.
but reading these messages are making me feel better that receiving help doesn’t always mean we need to pay someone. So thank you everyone 🥹
I just don’t know why I can’t stop crying and feel so emotional

OP posts:
IPM · 22/12/2025 22:54

should I have just forced to give money/ or buy something from the shop?

How exactly?

Original poster
Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:55

tiredofchristmas · 22/12/2025 22:51

I used to have really bad mental health. One of the (few) useful things I learned from therapy is that people WANT to help. It makes them feel good inside. The gain from it just as much as you. So if you’re feeling down, tell someone about it because 99% of the time they’re happy to listen you feel better and they feel better. It’s a win win, even though it’s really hard to take that first step and open up.

And if you need a magnet, tell someone. They’ll get quiet joy out of helping you.

Thank you so much for this :(

OP posts:
Mrsclausemunchingonamincepie · 22/12/2025 22:57

Once in France my car broke down in a village on a roundabout! A motorcyclist stopped, muttered something in French and rode off. Came back with a 4x4. Hitched up the caravan I was towing and took us to the campsite. Another car took dc and I. Dh went with another driver who towed the car!
It was quite a scene! A German camper took me to a supermarket and insisted I get some groceries at his expense!

Original poster
Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:57

IPM · 22/12/2025 22:54

should I have just forced to give money/ or buy something from the shop?

How exactly?

There was a shop right outside the drain so maybe I could’ve got something :( but he left really quickly after rescuing

OP posts:
dizzydizzydizzy · 22/12/2025 22:57

Helping other people makes us feel good about ourselves. Helping you probably made his day.

Original poster
Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:59

Mrsclausemunchingonamincepie · 22/12/2025 22:57

Once in France my car broke down in a village on a roundabout! A motorcyclist stopped, muttered something in French and rode off. Came back with a 4x4. Hitched up the caravan I was towing and took us to the campsite. Another car took dc and I. Dh went with another driver who towed the car!
It was quite a scene! A German camper took me to a supermarket and insisted I get some groceries at his expense!

Oh wow! Glad you were rescued. Did you pay in return with anything? Chocolate/money?

or did you feel bad like me?
im starting to question if this was a normal encounter and I am just being over emotional 🥲

OP posts:
Original poster
Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:59

dizzydizzydizzy · 22/12/2025 22:57

Helping other people makes us feel good about ourselves. Helping you probably made his day.

I think so :(
when I offered to pay he said he is just happy that he helped me

OP posts:
Mamma18272 · 22/12/2025 23:02

Don’t feel bad - ir doesn’t sound like you out then out of their way. It’s quite a nice feeling to help others. On the occasion I’ve been able to really help in a way that makes a difference, it gives me such a buzz for the day.

Pippa12 · 22/12/2025 23:02

I love to help- it’s the nurse in me. I get a great satisfaction and feeling of self worth if I I’ve truly helped somebody. I don’t want rewarding- I get embarrassed.

Some people have a need to help, you found one!

They are sleeping soundly on their good deed, you should sleep soundly after a 13 hour shift. I’ve done those too- brutal!

Gliblet · 22/12/2025 23:03

I know quite a few people who would definitely stop to help, none of them would expect anything in return. They do it both because they enjoy the feeling of having helped, and because if they just walked by and didn't help they'd spend the rest of that day (minimum) fretting about whether the person is okay. When you're raised with the expectation that you help if you're able to, and you're around people who help when they're able to, it's not even something you really consciously make a decision about any more - you just get on with it.

murasaki · 22/12/2025 23:07

You claim you help people, would you want paying? If not why would he? He did a nice thing, don't overthink it.

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