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AIBU?

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Original poster

Received helped, but feel bad!

55 replies

Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:35

I dropped my bunch of keys in a sewer drain at the side of the road. I had just parked and was getting out of the car when my keys fell onto the ground and slid down the drain!

this was after my 13.5 hour shift. I was knackered and just stopped to collect a parcel as it was the last hours.

some people saw me and came to rescue. Someone had a torch with magnet so he offered to give it to me if I pay him 10£.
but later said he can put it in a plastic bag and cellotape it so that way it won’t get damaged.

Another passer saw and said he has a magnet but it’s in at home and for me to wait 10 minutes as he will go home and get it.

while waiting I still tried to look for it but it didn’t work. And he actually came with the magnets!

he helped me to rescue the keys. I offered to pay him but he declined.

i feel so so emotional that people stopped and tried to help. And also this particular person actually went out of his way, went home and came back with the magnet. Even brought water to wash the keys and my hands.

i don’t know this person, don’t even know his name. But I’m so thankful for his help! I feel so bad that he had to do all this :(

should I have just forced to give money/ or buy something from the shop?

i did offer to buy something or give money but he refused and said he is just happy that he was able to help- but I’m feeling so bad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kardelen · 22/12/2025 23:09

Pippa12 · 22/12/2025 23:02

I love to help- it’s the nurse in me. I get a great satisfaction and feeling of self worth if I I’ve truly helped somebody. I don’t want rewarding- I get embarrassed.

Some people have a need to help, you found one!

They are sleeping soundly on their good deed, you should sleep soundly after a 13 hour shift. I’ve done those too- brutal!

I am a nurse also, and love to help. But When it’s roles reversed makes me feel so guilty and feels like I need to pay back!

another long shift tomorrow and the day after! But I can’t switch off thinking how will I pay this stranger back!

but reading the comments are making me feel better about the whole situation 🥹

on the positive note I will defo buy one of these magnets and keep it in the car so incase I see anyone else going through this I can help them 🥹 I honestly had no idea how to rescue keys.

also I just remembered when the guy walked off saying to wait for him, he mentioned how this happened to him before… so he probably knew what it felt like and helped. Who knows, maybe someone else helped him and now he did ( just like I’m planning on doing if I come across this )

OP posts:
YourAquaLion · 22/12/2025 23:16

i would have been thrilled to help you OP! It’s lovely that you are feeling so touched by it, but honestly that person will feel so good about themselves now they have done a Christmas good deed, honestly the thing you gave them in return was the chance to help you and I’m sure you just looked so grateful. Money isnt everything. People just want to help it makes them feel fuzzy and warm inside. You can always pay it forward by helping another person when you can.

Original poster
Kardelen · 22/12/2025 23:27

YourAquaLion · 22/12/2025 23:16

i would have been thrilled to help you OP! It’s lovely that you are feeling so touched by it, but honestly that person will feel so good about themselves now they have done a Christmas good deed, honestly the thing you gave them in return was the chance to help you and I’m sure you just looked so grateful. Money isnt everything. People just want to help it makes them feel fuzzy and warm inside. You can always pay it forward by helping another person when you can.

Thank you, you’re so sweet honestly :(
I think it’s partly because I feel so emotional that there are people / complete strangers out there who actually want to help without anything in return :(

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 22/12/2025 23:29

If you're usually the person offering help it can feel strange being on the receiving end. This lovely man obviously wanted to help, you didn't pressure him. I think he probably feels really happy that he was able to get your keys out of the drain and your thanks were sufficient reward. If you still feel guilty then put a donation in the next charity box you see.

YourAquaLion · 22/12/2025 23:44

Kardelen · 22/12/2025 23:27

Thank you, you’re so sweet honestly :(
I think it’s partly because I feel so emotional that there are people / complete strangers out there who actually want to help without anything in return :(

Show quote history

It’s lovely isn’t it, I think your reaction is totally normal though, we’re not always used to receiving help and all bating through life independently. It can be a shock when it happens, in a good way. Like sometimes I find myself tearing up when everyone on the road moves out of the way for an ambulance to come thru. The collective effort of everyone trying to save a person’s life moves me. Enjoy feeling saved, you deserve it, and you can do the same for someone else too. ❤️

WafflePlusWord · 23/12/2025 00:14

Most people are nice and would want to help. They don’t expect anything in return because they know they would appreciate the help if roles were reversed and it was them in need of it. Don’t feel bad, just appreciate it for what it is, and if you can help someone else next time.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 23/12/2025 00:14

If the shoe was on the other foot, and you ran across someone in this predicament and were able to go a short distance to get the magnets you owned and came back to help, would you have expected payment?

If the answer is no, then apply the same value to this man. He wanted to help, he helped. You thanked him. The end.

Last year i had a catastrophic fall in public and the number of people who helped was overwhelming. There are so many more good people in the world than we realise. You sound like a good person, and now you have met another good person!

Ella31 · 23/12/2025 01:08

Pay it forward in kindness. No doubt you will encounter someone who needs help in years to come. Dont feel bad, the person who helped you, clearly wanted to, it probably made them feel good.

LittleMissNumber · 23/12/2025 04:30

Is everything ok OP? Im wondering if your over emotional reaction to this is from something else going on.

FoFanta · 23/12/2025 04:40

Sounds like he was delighted to help. I'm picturing a scene where he once lost his keys in a similar fashion, someone helped him, he then bought these magnets (maybe to much eye rolling and gentle teasing from his missus) and only now, at last, has he had chance to use them!! It's a proper Christmas miracle, and a tale he'll be delighted to share over the holidays. (Because this would be exactly how I would behave, and in fact am now thinking of buying my own magnets so I can be prepared 😁).

You sound exhausted and overwhelmed. Please accept this little gift from the universe - a reminder that not everyone is a selfish git, and that sometimes people are kind for kindness sake. Don't spoil this lovely moment for yourself by thinking that everything needs to be transactional. Hope your next couple of shifts are peaceful.

Pepperama · 23/12/2025 05:07

Usually when I’m in a flood of tears it’s because I’m totally exhausted. You’d already had a long day and then something like that happened which made a long day even longer. I’m glad this person showed real kindness and knew what to do. Hope you’ve managed to get a good rest!

FiveShelties · 23/12/2025 05:11

Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:53

Yes was very nice :( that’s why I feel so bad I didn’t give anything in return.
but reading these messages are making me feel better that receiving help doesn’t always mean we need to pay someone. So thank you everyone 🥹
I just don’t know why I can’t stop crying and feel so emotional

Show quote history

Most people love to help other people and they definitely do not do it for anything in return.

Just be glad you met one of them today.

Genevieva · 23/12/2025 05:12

I think most people with the means would help you and not try to fleece you for £10. The first chap sounds very strange.

WhoamItoday11 · 23/12/2025 05:50

Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:45

do you think so?
i just feel so bad this guy actually went out of his way, went home and then brought the magnets to help.

I think I’ve never been the one to receive help in general, esp. from strangers, and i am the one who always helps so I feel really emotional about this that I can’t stop crying right now 😭

do you think it’s wctually normal for people to help in this situation like this?

Show quote history

The feel good factor he would have got from helping you out would be payment enough. It was his good deed for the day. In fact, had you forced some kind of payment on him would have devalued the experience for him.

Gremlins101 · 23/12/2025 05:55

No, people are happy to help. Its what makes us human.

BadgernTheGarden · 23/12/2025 05:59

greenwithglee · 22/12/2025 22:41

the person asking for money was a chancer.

Not really if he thought his torch would be ruined having been lowered into a drain. Perhaps he just couldn't afford to buy another torch, and in the end he did say he could protect it in a plastic bag. I guess the magnet wouldn't have been strong enough for keys.

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 23/12/2025 06:20

Maybe you have seen the player who asked if you expect money when you help someone. If you don't why would you assume anyone else expects to be paid for kindness?

LaurieFairyCake · 23/12/2025 07:40

It’s Christmas and you’re feeling connected to humanity, hence all the crying.

The vast majority of people are GOOD, and want to love and help others.

When you’re used to being the helper it can feel overwhelming to be helped. CakeFlowersCake

Hosoan · 23/12/2025 07:54

Ask yourself where these guilty, bad feelings come from. What was it like when you were a child and someone helped you, did you feel guilty or bad? If so why, where did those feelings come from, - from how someone made you feel?
Our feelings often have origins in our childhood experiences.

Newlittlerescue · 23/12/2025 08:08

The modern way to thank unknown people in these sorts of circumstances is a Facebook post on your local community group....This has the added bonus of making other people reading the post feel more optimistic about human nature (as your post has here!) and perhaps more inclined to offer help in a similar situation in the future.

ConnieHeart · 23/12/2025 08:14

I'd have been happy to help in this situation if I was able & wouldn't want anything in return. Surely you'd be the same?

mydogisanidiott · 23/12/2025 08:25

It’s really nice he was so kind. I had a tyre pop on a busy road and a lovely man offered to pull it onto his drive and change it for me. Said he was sorry it took him so long he was wallpapering and saw me!

you are tired emotional a and overwhelmed. He probably felt nice helping you. Some people like helping others. I’m one of those and I don’t do it enough

SouthernNights59 · 23/12/2025 09:01

Kardelen · 22/12/2025 22:45

do you think so?
i just feel so bad this guy actually went out of his way, went home and then brought the magnets to help.

I think I’ve never been the one to receive help in general, esp. from strangers, and i am the one who always helps so I feel really emotional about this that I can’t stop crying right now 😭

do you think it’s wctually normal for people to help in this situation like this?

Show quote history

Of course it's normal for people to want to help if they can. There is no need for you to feel bad, and some day you will be in a position to help someone else. The guy wouldn't have helped you if he hadn't wanted to, and I'm sure you paying him was the last thing on his mind.

IsItSnowing · 23/12/2025 09:05

I wouldn't feel bad. I also don't think you needed to pay him. Fortunately, there are still decent people in the world who will offer to help someone for no reason other than they are helpful.
The person asking for money in that situation is the only person who should feel bad in this situation.

1984Winston · 23/12/2025 12:25

I love helping people and absolutely hate people helping me so I can completely understand how you feel!