Ex husband just woke me up

[feedmefudge]

First day of the school holidays. I work full-time in a demanding role in a secondary school. Not only that, but I work every weekend morning to supplement my income. I very, very rarely get the chance to sleep in these days.
First opportunity for a lie-in came this morning. I was woken at 08.55 by my ex husband ringing the bell. He was dropping off some stuff for our teenage daughter, who was asleep blissfully unaware. It’s not even supposed to be my weekend with the kids, but she slept over here after a night out last night (I live more centrally than he does).
Ex husband is a tricky character, so there’s no point in saying anything to him. But he’d have known full well that this was the first day of the holidays and that our daughter wouldn’t answer after a late night of clubbing.
I’m usually laidback but this has really annoyed me. It sometimes feels like nobody really thinks of me or looks out for me. However I don’t know if I’m being ridiculous or dramatic.
AIBU?

Didn't you read the OP? Yes, she works!

Presume meant the poster who says she always gets up at midday

I can understand why you’re annoyed. Personally, I would never, ever give my ex the satisfaction of knowing he’s annoyed me because the utter prick that he is, he would love it.

OMG @feedmefudge it was 9am! I can’t believe you hadn’t been, like me, up at 5 for a cold shower, a 10K run, done a week’s worth of batch cooking and baked some sour dough!

It’s slightly possible that all of the above is total bollocks.

Your normal routine sounds exhausting, I’d have been raging too. It’s the being jolted awake when you’d planned at lovely lie in which it sounds like you really need.

I hope the day got better and that you get plenty of R&R over the holidays.

Thats okay lots of us on here dont have kids.

No i understand.why you are annoyed OP. Try to enjoy Christmas and as someone else suggested try to get daughter and her father to organise more between themselves so you dont get bothered with it..Daughter sounds old enough to sort it out a bit more.

At least it's somebody deserving of your annoyance.

I only have myself to blame, dragging myself out of bed for work at stupid o'clock every morning - but come Saturday or Sunday morning, PING wide awake an hour before my weekday alarm would have gone off. If I could do that during the week, it would be brilliant, but it only ever happens when I don't have to wake up at any particular time.

Usually this is me! That’s why I was annoyed, because find it difficult to sleep in, on the rare occasion I can! But this time I was having a lovely sleep. Typical, eh?
Anyway, I’m over it, and set on having a nice Christmas with some rest and relaxation (fingers crossed!).

Can you disable the doorbell? When im asleep I turn my phone completely off, wear earplugs and a sleep mask. I'm not gonna wake up for anything but the fire alarm or someone shaking me awake in an emergency.
I take sleep seriously.
Don't feel guilty. Take your rest seriously too. I give you permission. Next time you want a lie in turn your phone on silent until you plan to get up and disable your doorbell. Everyone can fuck right off unless its a genuine emergency.

I can understand your annoyance. On the positive side, he’s now your ex so you don’t have to tolerate him on a regular basis and it sounds as if your shared children are young adults/older teens so you’ll have less and less contact with him until it pretty much ends.

It’s very context-dependent. When I’ve been up for a few hours with my baby, 9am isn’t a lie in- it’s just trying to recoup necessary sleep at a different time. Similarly people who work shifts or who, like the OP, may be exhausted from working multiple jobs with little rest. A couple of people have summarised it well
above saying that this is about the OP’s current situation, which sounds really tiring and difficult. There’s no one definition of a lie-in and here I think the OP is struggling more generally, so this precious planned extra time in bed meant lot to her.

He did it because he doesn’t care and has no consideration . He’s an arse and thankfully no longer your arse.

Did he call you or just buzz on the doorbell?

I’m with you!

Some of us and night owls and absolutely live for our rare lie ins.

The morning people will be here in droves saying “oh it’s not that early, I get up at 5” and all that BS.

It’s very inconsiderate and annoying that he woke you up OP.

He buzzed my bell.
A previous poster suggested disabling it but I don’t think I can. It’s a traditional Georgian property.

Did he try to contact his teenage daughter?

Of course you’re raging OP and I would be too. I’m usually up early for kids and/or work and if I can sleep in then I can go for hours and it’s very helpful for my body to catch up on missed sleep, I feel loads better afterwards. Plus it’s not just the being asleep bit! Lying in bed all warm and comfy and thinking about how you’re in bed and don’t have to get up is amazing but the magic is completely broken if you’ve had to get up and answer the door.
I’d have a chat with DD about how she can deal with her stuff/dad to make sure that doesn’t happen again. Hope you get loads more lovely sleeps in this holiday!