To find it hard being single this time of the year

[TheOnlySingle]

Is it just me finding it so hard being single at this time of year? Normally im ok but I find it hard this time of the year. Anyone else?

I spent a good portion of my 20s being single and I really understand what are you saying. I remember it bothered me very much - I just wanted to have that default person/place that was 'mine'. And it was not just about xmas/new years, I remember also dreading the summer holiday season - most friends 'paired up' and vacationing with their partner and I remember ending up planning holidays with acquaintances even 🤦🏼‍♀️
But just fyi, as someone who really remembers that feeling, I can tell you now in hindsight - it's really important to not waste that time forcing fake connections just for the sake of not feeling 'single' or alone...your own company is always better than fake company.

I think it's pretty common to feel lonely around this time of year. Maybe have a think about what it is that you are missing, exactly, and try to get it elsewhere.
I am single this year. I've had a pretty social month though, going out with friends and Christmas parties with hobby groups. I am actually looking forward to having a few quiet days over Christmas.
I don't have to think about cooking, hosting or spending a lot of money on gifts. Although, I did get a few nice bits for people I care about.
I don't really know what a relationship would add to Christmas at this point. What are you missing?

I'm sorry you're struggling OP. I know it often looks like everyone is in happy little bubbles but even a quick look through MN this time of year shows you that actually a lot of people are miserably unsingle.

As a positive, you only have yourself to please, what would you like christmas to be? Are there any little treat yourself traditions that you could start to brighten up this time of year?

Im sorry you feel this way, and I'm an anti social bugger, but I love being by myself. I holiday alone and if I was alone at Christmas i would love to close the blinds and stay in for days. We've just moved to a new town so will be exploring on foot and going to KFC. I can't wait.

I'd rather stay single than go through what some poor women on MN are going through.

Doing the Christmas slog solo, ungrateful DH/DPs that take them for granted, DH/DPs that get stroppy and sulky when their DW/DP gets ill or asks for a scrap of help. Who wants that at any time of year?

Its just me, my teens and my mum. No whining, mithering manchild.

Social media is carefully curated bollocks so take the picture perfect Christmasses with a pinch of salt.

The reality of it is sadly domestic violence is at an all time high over the Xmas periods, and divorce applications are most common in January, following xmas.
forget the fuzzy adverts and fairy tale films.
Another thing to remember that for most partnerships Xmas wouldn't happen at all without the woman going above and beyond physically and mentally to ensure all family members have a nice time.
I've been on my own many times at xmas, it's a state of mind, if your determined to have a good Xmas you will.

I’m single this year and was thinking about this the other day. After a very long marriage and not living with a man for 11 years since my divorce, but having relationships in the meantime, this is probably only the second or third Christmas as an adult that I’m completely single.
This time last year was awful and I left my ex shortly after Christmas. It was stressful, upsetting and he was a grade A twat to me all through December. Deliberately so in order that he’d save face with his relatives and play the victim when I left him.
This year is wonderfully stressful free and it’s probably the calmest run up to Christmas I’ve ever had.
There’s something about reframing your mindset too. Be thankful you don’t have a god awful man or horrible relatives making your life difficult. Do what you want to do and try to enjoy the peace. Making plans can give you things to look forward too and if you do get lonely, check out all the poor women who aren’t single here and the awful situations they are enduring for a little perspective.

No. I read here about lazy immature drunken partners and demanding nightmare inlaws and ongoing family dramas and thank God my life is free of that shit. I can’t recommend this way of life highly enough.

OP, I think you should widen your lens on this. It’s not just being single that can feel anomalous this time of year, it’s also anyone whose life doesn’t fit all the Christmas imagery (ads, films) that continually depicts as normal large extended families smiling around the turkey, adorable children giving their parents cute or thoughtful presents, everyone ‘going home for the holidays’ and resolving family feuds etc etc. It can be quite an emotionally coercive time of year for an awful lot of people, not just the single.

Yeah I think it’s the lack of family as well, I’m sorry some people are not in good relationships at Christmas but it doesn’t make me feel any less lonely sadly, it’s just me and the kids no extended family at all.

So not alone then. Jeez

where The hell did I say alone? I said SINGLE not childless?!!

Literally my thread said I’m finding being SINGLE this time of year extra hard, sorry to say this and this might blow your mind but I’ve found being a single parent far more lonely than just being single!

Give it 2 weeks and the dating market will be rich with fresh pickings.

Nope
I love being single
I don't have to worry about presents for in laws
Whose house to go to on xmas day
Reading all the stories of useless partners on here
No thank you

After a couple of threads I’ve read over the last two days - I’ve never been more grateful to be single!

I love the fact I can do Xmas exactly how I (and my kids want to). They are currently with their dad and I also enjoy a little respite to get ready for the chaos… it’s harder the years they are not here for xmas

YANBU for feeling that way OP it is hard. Christmas can make everything seem worse. Have you tried the lone parents chat on here? I hope you have bought yourself a xmas gift you deserve it.

No I don’t buy gifts for myself I don’t have anything spare after buying for the children unfortunately that’s where all my money goes so it would be nice to mean something to someone

This
There are many reasons why people don't like Christmas and I know several people who dread being together with their partner for extended periods of time

I get how you feel. I’ve been single for 18 months (no kids, parents, siblings) and am spending the day solo. It’s ok - and I do have invites for Xmas day if I want to take them up - but I hate feeling like I’m third wheeling, especially when I see all the posts on here about just wanting to spend Xmas with their own little nuclear family. I was single for a decade before I met my last ex, and I liked our little christmases and our little stockings. This year I don’t even have anything to unwrap on the day which is a weird feeling, so I bought myself a much needed new winter coat. It’s not the same though.

@TheOnlySinglebut you do mean something to someone, to your children you are everything. You are the achristmas magic, so allow that to fill your soul.

Christmas is a hard time of the year to be single I find, even if you are happy in that state the rest of the year.

I think it's because people start hunkering down with their family/partners and becoming less available. I certainly find that with my own friends who are all married/partnered up.

I have kids but they are late teens and are busy with their own friends etc so I find I start to miss having someone around who just wants to spend time with me and spoil me.
But then I remember how miserable Christmas was in an unhappy marriage & I think that was worse than this so I am grateful not to be in that situation.

Try to spoil yourself a bit with simple treats and maybe plan some nice things to do after Xmas.

i think @Cigarette is right - there is a lot of specific Christmas imagery around and if your life is not like this ( mine not entirely) you really feel it. All these Christmas films and ads …they make me a nauseous tbh and I’m not single. I have DH and DD it’s wider family angle where I don’t fit.

I also think it’s also enormous pressure for you to make everything, to be in charge of every detail, to make it perfect and there is no one who will help, share and spoil you a bit. I admire you honestly. My friend is single and it’s a lot of work all the year but at this time especially.

Some of these posts on here atm have reminded me why I don’t mind being single . Partners having their Christmas parties and not coming home , discovering cheating texts after the said night out , being left to do all the hard work over Xmas whilst they sit drinking all Christmas . I remembered the other day about how my ex would start drinking from the minute he broke up from work til the night before he went back and he wouldn’t be sober . One year Xmas day , falling asleep on the toilet , drunk .

I think back to those days and although it would be nice to spend Christmas with someone the grass isn’t always greener is it ?!

That's all very well but how does it relate to the OP who clearly...

Actually I can't even be bothered to explain how tone deaf your post is.