Page 2 | To find it hard being single this time of the year

TheOnlySingle · 2025-12-20T23:52:26+00:00

Is it just me finding it so hard being single at this time of year? Normally im ok but I find it hard this time of the year. Anyone else?

Original poster

TheOnlySingle · 22/12/2025 11:12

Humanswarm · 22/12/2025 06:49

@TheOnlySinglebut you do mean something to someone, to your children you are everything. You are the achristmas magic, so allow that to fill your soul.

That’s nice but it’s not the same at all, it’s me doing all the work and feeling under appreciated. I won’t get a single present not that it matters but it would be nice to have someone putting me first for one rather than me putting everyone else first and feeling uncared for. I’m grateful for my kids but it’s not accurate to compare them to a partner.

OP posts:

Nikki3009 · 22/12/2025 11:27

I'm in my 50s and came out of a very long-term abusive relationship 2 years ago. Every christmas and new year would be wrecked in one way or another by my frankly, loony ex-partner. This year, I'm happy to be experiencing a relatively stress-free christmas, but I do look at couples and long for that 'togetherness' (not that I ever had that - I hasten to add).
So you are definitely not alone, it can be a tricky time of year to navigate as a single person.
But, I can tell you now it is better to be alone, than lonely in a bad relationship.
Make sure you make plenty of plans - be the organiser. Get a group of your girl friends together for a post-christmas catch-up, reach out to friends you haven't seen for a while and see if they fancy meeting up for a drink. Enjoy your own time and space to do the things you want to do. Join some FB groups for people locally in a similar situation (there are lots!)
Good luck, christmas will soon be over and normality will resume!

Nikki3009 · 22/12/2025 11:31

Runlikesomeoneleftgateopen · 21/12/2025 08:55

The reality of it is sadly domestic violence is at an all time high over the Xmas periods, and divorce applications are most common in January, following xmas.
forget the fuzzy adverts and fairy tale films.
Another thing to remember that for most partnerships Xmas wouldn't happen at all without the woman going above and beyond physically and mentally to ensure all family members have a nice time.
I've been on my own many times at xmas, it's a state of mind, if your determined to have a good Xmas you will.

Yes! This is sadly so true. Christmas and New Year was definitely an escalation in the cycle for my ex-partner. I spent probably 20 Christmas Days and New Year's Eves in despair and thinking, please let this be the last one I have to spend with him.

Belladog1 · 22/12/2025 11:33

This is my first Christmas as a single woman. I got married at age 18, and I am now 51 - and I don't really know what to do with myself between Christmas and NY. I am working until Christmas Eve afternoon, and the office is closed until 5th January. I have bought some good snacks and a ham and I will probably spend the time gaining 20Ibs

StopBothering · 22/12/2025 11:53

Right now loads of women with partners are dreading the drudgery of Xmas with useless partners.

There will be loads of threads on here over the next week or so about how awful Christmas has been due to the man's moods, behaviour, selfishness, cheating, etc etc meanwhile the woman has been doing all things to make Christmas nice for everyone. And countless women out there experiencing the same who never post or have never used Mumsnet.

Worse still, the abuse ramps up for many this time of year.

Honestly OP you are not missing anything. A man who genuinely cares about a woman's inner world enough to engage equally in making Christmas nice with HER in mind ... That's a fucking unicorn.

The "good ones" are really just the bare minimum men as generally the bar resides in Hades. They're useless too, but at least less offensive, and the women are just used to it and accept it.

I do know how you feel, I used to feel the same. But then I got married, and now I'm not!

Netcurtainnelly · 22/12/2025 12:10

TheOnlySingle · 21/12/2025 14:24

Yeah I think it’s the lack of family as well, I’m sorry some people are not in good relationships at Christmas but it doesn’t make me feel any less lonely sadly, it’s just me and the kids no extended family at all.

Your assuming even if you had family they would be present and it would be enjoyable and stressful free.
Think what you've got not what you havent.
No one's life is perfect.
Some women would have loved a couple of children also.

Original poster

TheOnlySingle · 22/12/2025 13:02

Netcurtainnelly · 22/12/2025 12:10

Your assuming even if you had family they would be present and it would be enjoyable and stressful free.
Think what you've got not what you havent.
No one's life is perfect.
Some women would have loved a couple of children also.

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my feelings are valid, like I said ive felt way more lonely as a single mum than I ever did as just a single person.

OP posts:

twinmummystarz · 22/12/2025 14:15

Wishing you a really good Christmas. It’s definitely tough when there’s so much expectation around family and having a romantic partner. I don’t know what to say except to wish you all the best.

cloudtreecarpet · 22/12/2025 17:21

TheOnlySingle · 22/12/2025 13:02

my feelings are valid, like I said ive felt way more lonely as a single mum than I ever did as just a single person.

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Yes, being single at Christmas is a specific thing and your feelings around it are valid - whether you have children or not is not the issue.
I definitely hear you & understand how you feel. It's that feeling of wanting to be spoilt & looked after rather than being the one doing the spoiling and looking after.

Definitely try to spoil yourself even if it's just with a box set or a good movie xx

DottyLottieLou · 22/12/2025 18:10

Count your blessings. It won't always be like this.