Neighbours using me as a parcel drop off!

[SecretNameforMN]

Is this cheeky-fuckery or am I a miserable old scrooge?

I'm nearly 70 and disabled (physical mobility issues). I have a large pre-printed sign on my front door saying that I am disabled and so no cold callers etc.

Just lately I have been answering the door quite a few times to couriers asking if I would take in parcels for my (fit and active) next door neighbours. This causes me inconvenience thrice - once in having to hobble to the front door with my zimmer frame, and then having to grapple with the parcel and my zimmer frame and lay it down on the narrow hall floor, and then again later when the neighbour calls for his parcel and I have to manoeuvre my frame around the parcel, lift it and hand it to him on the doorstep.

Him calling for his parcels, between 4pm and 9pm depending on when he gets home from work, has interrupted me when I've been right at the back of my house, cooking, it has made me leave my hot dinner on the table to answer the door, disturbed me during a counselling session, disturbed me during a long-awaited phone call with my GP, disturbed me whilst I have been on the toilet and woken me up from a much-needed nap. If I don't open the front door within 30 seconds, both the couriers and the neighbour will keep ringing the bell again and again until I open it.

Today I decided that enough was enough! I am on good terms with my neighbour but we are not friends or anything and I don't owe him any favours or anything like that. So when I was once again called away from my cosy, wrapped up in blankets TV session on the sofa to open the door to yet another courier, I told him NO, I will not take in a parcel for my neighbour, not today and never. He then showed me, on his phone, a note from my neighbour instructing the couriers to always leave parcels with me because I am "always at home".

I can't get over the cheeky fuckery of the man. How dare he give such an instruction without even asking me if I minded?

So, am I right to be livid, or am I a curmudgeonly old grump?

Exactly ,you're neighbours logistical problems are not yours to solve.
That's why I don't take parcels for any neighbours.

What I find even more amazing (slightly off topic here!) is that people are still ordering and getting parcels this close to Christmas!!! It seems very close I’d be very stressed I’ve had my bits for ages now!!

Good! I thought you may have caved in as I couldn’t work out from your OP if you had relented at the last hurdle. Lockers are there for a reason and they are conveniently located too!

Op, please don’t have a sign saying you’re disabled on your door, that makes you a target. Absolutely recommend a ring doorbell you can answer from your phone, if the parcel is for you ask them wait or leave it, if not tell them you can’t take it in. The only problem with them is keeping the bloody things charged.

You can hardwire them. I'd personally get an electrician to do it.

https://ring.com/gb/en/support/articles/7hvj2/Hardwiring-your-battery-powered-Ring-doorbell?srsltid=AfmBOoq5Mq2_oBtoyT7S-0AGEeWUYBJ1q2SJActWz8yV3TTzSD5N2r3

I think it’s neighbourly and not that big a deal…I do hope you never need a favour from him.

OP is elderly with a physical disability and she uses a zimmer frame. It causes her pain every time she has to go to answer the door so it is a big deal for her.

I work from home and found out that 4 neighbours had put my house number on their delivery info or a note on their door, incase they weren't in! No one asked first. I have a tiny hall and had to deliver the parcels in the evenings or I'd trip over them! Final straw was a tall bookcase, delivered on a Monday, neighbour ignored messages and collected Friday! I now tell couriers, no, sorry.

Its not neighbourly. Its become a massive problem for a lot of people. Neighbourly is a very occasional good turn. Not being treated as a parcel depot.

Youre right to be annoyed and want to stop, I would!
he has probably assumed you wouldn’t mind and took no consideration to your mobility issues.

Pop a notice on your door saying you only accept your own deliveries. If you see your neighbour explain you won’t be accepting anything for people as of your mobility issues and it’s got too much.

If I was on a busy street I wouldn't put that I was disabled.

I think it’s neighbourly too, @quietlysad, so I happily take things for my my neighbours also, when I’m in.

But it doesn’t always work out. I stopped taking things for a guy who lived locally for a year or so, because he criticised me rudely when I was extremely unwell and didn’t on one occasion answer the door. Instead of returning he gave me a piece of his mind for not dropping his parcel round. Never again.

Op should write a not to her NDN explaining how difficult and tiring it is for her to act as a parcel depot with her disability. She should make it clear that she will not be doing so in the future. The ring doorbell is the way to go. Then you can montor who knocks and who you decide to answer to. Remove the "disabled" ntice from your door. There are some evil people who prey on the vulnerable.

As often happens in this forum, it seems to me you're asking the wrong question. The question should be, How should I stop this?

Seems to me a simple answer is at hand. You put a sign on your door, preferably printed from your computer in large type:

This is 1001 Elizabeth Street. Please do not leave ask about leaving packages for 1002 Elizabeth Street, which is next door.

I don't think it's the wildest of cheeky fuckery unless you've said something to him. Given you acknowledge any parcels left on doorsteps will get nicked where you are, and given you literally are home all day and presumably have been friendly handing over any parcels I can kind of see his logic. Would I do it - no, I'd have asked first and he has been rude there! Instead of getting grumpy just explain to him (you should have done it the very first parcel I think) - sorry, my disability makes it really hard to answer the door, please can you arrange another safe place. We get loads of parcels for basically our whole road and I love having a chat on the doorstep and I'm in most of the day so don't mind them using me- nobody has ever asked. I'm not disabled though and it causes me more bother, I'm sure if your neighbour knew it was a problem they'd stop. Just tell him.

I deliver parcels as part of my job and I hate asking a neighbour - I would only do that when I can’t find a safe place to leave it instead, but the time pressure delivery drivers are under, especially at this time of year, they just need to get the parcel dropped and go, so I don’t blame the driver at all. Your neighbour however…

if you feel awkward talking to him about it, tell him that he’s not the only one who’s put you down and then tell him all the ways you’ve been disturbed and how much pain and trouble is causes you. I imagine he’s just thoughtless rather than actually nasty so hasn’t really considered the impact on you.

FWIW when I’m working at home I often have my hands covered in sticky stuff so always answer the door with gloved hands waving in the air and ask the driver to set it down inside the door for me so I don’t have to touch it. They are always happy to do so. If they’ve left before you open the door, leave the parcel there. Not your problem.

Also agree about the notice - no cold callers will suffice , they don’t need to know why. I used to deliver to someone who had a note saying to allow extra time as she was disabled, so it meant being more patient before looking for a safe place but I always felt it was an invitation for nefarious types.

What does "That's on you" mean?

Are you blaming me in some way?

He did me a favour two years ago -- but I PAID him for it. He wanted payment and I paid.

How are you in a position to say how much of a deal it is for a disabled elderly woman to leave her dinner table or be interrupted during a GP phone call to hobble 30 feet to the front door, twice?

My neighbour did this. They had me down on Amazon as their chosen drop off, without asking me. I got very fed up of answering the door. Some days I was still upstairs getting ready. Fortunately the neighbour moved. She didn’t even call round to tell me she was moving, although I’d seen it on Rightmove. Another neighbour had bought her children Christmas presents every year but she couldn’t be bothered to knock and say goodbye.

Some people are definitely CFs. I now have a lovely Muslim couple living next door. The original neighbour was white British. It makes you think!

Refuse from now on @SecretNameforMN . You aren’t obligated in any way.

I don’t take parcels for one of my neighbours because we don’t speak. After you say no a few times then the courier/postman stop asking.

My neighbours and I take in parcels for each other ad hoc, and I don't resent doing it at all – it's beneficial to us all.
But I'd be pissed off if any of them actually put me down as their place to deliver to.
Tell your neighbour you never gave him permission to give you as his drop-off person and he must change it. And you won't be answering the door or accepting any more of his parcels.

I used to take in parcels, then I got a parcel box, and they don't bother me now.

It's also much easier all round. They don't have to wait, and I don't have to wonder if I've time to nip out, or have a shower, or put the washing on (can't hear knocks at the door when it's spinning).

It means that you have chosen to interrupt your therapy session to answer the door and you could instead choose not to. I never answer the door when I am in a meeting or it isn't convenient. It isn't about blame, it is about taking charge of your own response to other people's behaviour. He would soon stop using you as a post box if you stopped answering the door.

The selfishness these days is appalling. I think you need to be direct and tell your neighbour you cannot do it. Put a note through his door.

The ring doorbell could be a good idea.

The utter selfishness of comments saying it's not a big deal and it is neighbourly is dreadful too. It is not neighbourly to expect people with disabilities to be inconvenienced and in pain for your convenience!

My next door neighbours are elderly and have health problems. I don't put them down as my usual place if I'm not in, because I don't wish to put on them. Because I'm considerate. They always say they don't mind if the postie does it occasionally, but I certainly don't like to bother them.

I can't believe the lack of empathy around. So poor.

Put your foot down @SecretNameforMN .