Neighbours using me as a parcel drop off!

[SecretNameforMN]

Is this cheeky-fuckery or am I a miserable old scrooge?

I'm nearly 70 and disabled (physical mobility issues). I have a large pre-printed sign on my front door saying that I am disabled and so no cold callers etc.

Just lately I have been answering the door quite a few times to couriers asking if I would take in parcels for my (fit and active) next door neighbours. This causes me inconvenience thrice - once in having to hobble to the front door with my zimmer frame, and then having to grapple with the parcel and my zimmer frame and lay it down on the narrow hall floor, and then again later when the neighbour calls for his parcel and I have to manoeuvre my frame around the parcel, lift it and hand it to him on the doorstep.

Him calling for his parcels, between 4pm and 9pm depending on when he gets home from work, has interrupted me when I've been right at the back of my house, cooking, it has made me leave my hot dinner on the table to answer the door, disturbed me during a counselling session, disturbed me during a long-awaited phone call with my GP, disturbed me whilst I have been on the toilet and woken me up from a much-needed nap. If I don't open the front door within 30 seconds, both the couriers and the neighbour will keep ringing the bell again and again until I open it.

Today I decided that enough was enough! I am on good terms with my neighbour but we are not friends or anything and I don't owe him any favours or anything like that. So when I was once again called away from my cosy, wrapped up in blankets TV session on the sofa to open the door to yet another courier, I told him NO, I will not take in a parcel for my neighbour, not today and never. He then showed me, on his phone, a note from my neighbour instructing the couriers to always leave parcels with me because I am "always at home".

I can't get over the cheeky fuckery of the man. How dare he give such an instruction without even asking me if I minded?

So, am I right to be livid, or am I a curmudgeonly old grump?

Definitely get a video doorbell (Ring, Blink etc) so you can speak to people at the door. Handy even if it’s just to say you’re on your way! But if the delivery was for someone else you can just say no without the hassle of getting up.

You ask about vandalism. They’re becoming so commonplace I’ve not heard of people stealing or damaging other people’s door cams. Also not smart to do when they’d be filmed doing it haha

"I have a large pre-printed sign on my front door saying that I am disabled and so no cold callers etc."

Change this notice to include 'Parcels not for this address will NOT be accepted'.

Inform your neighbour you won't be taking in any more of his parcels. Do not be polite when you do so!

I feel your pain OP. I too have mobility issues and live alone. Its not just being disturbed to accept the unwanted parcel. Its the the stress of waiting for the intended recipient to come and collect it at their convenience, never yours. And there are some people who never come to collect their parcels. They expect you to deliver them. Yeah, right.

Ring doorbells can be made to open on a variety of devices - phones. tablets, computer monitors and (if you have Alexa) smart TVs. So you can monitor who is at the door. If some courier asks you to take in a parcel and its not yours just say "Im on the app and away from home. Sorry your breaking up ..." and hang up. Another good ploy is to tell them (courier) that you are going to be away from home for a few days. That will prompt them to try elsewhere.

My doorbellc amera has software which enables me to respond in different voices _ my own, a robot voice or a deep male voice. When Im not expecting anyone deep male throat usually answers.

Only if I could ask the courier whether the parcel he's holding is for this address. I could get a sign printed (Temu do them cheap) saying I don't take in parcels for other addresses, but most of the couriers can't read English. If they could they would read the existing sign which says "Please be patient, I am disabled and it delays me answering the door" and yet if I don't answer it in 30 seconds they ring again,.

These are brilliant ideas. I see loads of these doorbells for sale but did not get one yet because I am bewildered by the choice so just stopped looking.

yeah but the lazy so-and-so would have to walk all the way down the street instead of the 12 feet to my front door!

your neighbour should have asked you and they probably don’t understand the impact they are having on you. Leave a note on your door (as suggested by others) and explain to your neighbour the situation. Even if they were thoughtless it’s worth maintaining neighbourly relations.

Please take the sign off your door advertising your disability. That's inviting criminals.
Definitely get a camera doorbell. And absolutely tell your cf neighbour you cannot accept their parcels as it has become too much.

Did you take this parcel in or refuse?

My next door neighbour is disabled and can hardly walk. I wouldn’t dream of putting their house number for a parcel drop off. She did offer but I said no because I have a lot of parcels at this time of the year.

You've got more than enough reason to put a stop to this due to your additional difficulties having to keep answering the door. But I put a stop to this as well - I am fit and active, my husband isn't, I work outside the home 3 days a week and another day sometimes more from home. I put a stop to my neighbour doing this for several reasons. One, my neighbour doesn't work and isn't physically disabled just out all the time...and was using us as a depot! My husband kept accepting parcels even though he has difficulties getting to the door. Then after a long day at work or trying to rest on a weekend was either getting doorbell rung on a weekend morning when I was trying to grab some sleep (am husband's carer too so this was no joke, I'm always tired) or neighbour of an evening to pick up his parcels when I was trying to get a meal done! Last straw was when I was working from home one day 3 parcels in one day. Work from home is just that, am working and often on phone. I stopped my husband accepting them anymore, I put a sign on the door- we only accept parcels for our own names and address. Do not ask us to take in parcels for others. Please do not ring the bell otherwise. Disabled resident and other WFH. I got really angry towards the end of it. People order stuff now knowing they will likely not be in to accept it, thinking someone else will. Its beyond cheeky, and it's entitled and inconsiderate. In our case even more so, juggling my work and caring is hard enough, my single neighbour has none of these challenges, is just never in. I told him no more. You order something, be in for the delivery. It won't get accepted by us.

get a parcel box and put a sign on it stating parcels addressed to this house please drop in the box. Any parcels addressed to any other house will be returned to sender.
I guarantee that will stop the parcels.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Things are so much easier now to get deliveries. I have mine delivered to work, but have had them delivered to lockers.

My 15 year old, at the time, accepted a parcel for a neighbour. It was massive double bed. When the neighbours got home, they said they’d tried to cancel the order so didn’t want it. The thing sat outside our house for a week!

Remember, no good deed goes unpunished.

No doubt he’ll get shitty with you now you’ve had enough.

I have one neighbour that I refuse parcels for, as they always took ages to come and collect them. I just tell the delivery person no. Often the neighbour is home, they just choose to not answer the door. If she ever asks I will tell her why.

I’d say options are : -
Put a note through your neighbours door telling him that due to your disabilities, answering the door is causing you a lot of pain and potential injury due to falling, and to please ask the couriers to deliver elsewhere if he is out. Hopefully, it will put into perspective for him about your disabilities and difficulties answering the door. He really won’t have thought how this affects you, he’s just a man and his brain isn’t fully developed!!

If that doesn’t work, every time something is trying to be delivered for next door, refuse it. Tell the delivery driver to remove your details because you won’t accept anything that is not for your house. If your neighbour stops getting his deliveries then he’ll get the picture.

Put a note up saying you will only accept deliveries for your address only- your neighbour will hopefully see this. Also the couriers can read enough English that they can see you as designated safe space so don’t assume they can’t read English.
Or a sign saying “no 49 CF house is next door.”

Contact the courier company directly and ask them to take your address for delivery off your neighbours account.
Evri - 0330 808 5456
https://www.evri.com/contact-us
DPD-0121 275 0500 or https://www.dpd.co.uk/content/how-can-we-help/contact.jsp
explaining your disability and difficulty answering the door. Whilst you are on with them, explain your want a note on your account for your deliveries that your are disabled and need time to answer the door.

Get a ring doorbell, though this would mean having a gadget with you at all times! This is an expensive option so unless you were thinking of getting one anyway…

Agree with the taking of your disabilities sign down for safety.

We had this, a long time ago when I was on maternity leave with DS2.

I took in parcels most days for next door, but the absolute audacity was when I was told by the delivery driver that there were notes on parcels saying to always leave with me!! NDN had never said a word to me about it, we weren’t friends, in fact she was a noisy pain in the arse.

So I started to refuse the parcels and in time they stopped knocking…

Since Amazon tell you when they're delivering, you know when the delivery's for you. When it's not just don't answer the door. The couriers don't have that much time to hang about.
Equally you need to have a word with your neighbour and tell him you're not his local parcel shop..

Get a Ring doorbell to save you getting up. Then don't answer the door to anyone

You are definitely not being unreasonable.
I have lovely neighbours who always take in parcels for en, but I have never once asked for this to happen, and nor would I, even if they gave their permission!

I try really hard to arrange deliveries for when I will be at home, or where possible, to have them sent to a pick up location. It doesn't always work out as sometimes things get delayed, and then my neighbours do often step in (as I do for them on the rare occasion it's the other way round), but there's no way I'd expect it.

You need a sign or ring doorbell. I once selected on DPD to deliver to any neighbour, I've been unable to unselect it ever since!

Oh and it might stop anyway after Christmas so much.

You can get one that 'grips' round the door - no installation needed

Ring doorbell holder

If you're not in Amazon can deliver to a neighbour 😅

YANBU. There’s a particular neighbour who we refuse to take in for because they never come to collect (surely that’s parcel etiquette?!!) Then, when you finally give up and deliver it yourself they have the gall to ask what took so long!! Never again.

We had a couple across the road do this after the husband had aggressively shouted and swore at my husband in the street, because he was washing his car while the guy was watching TV and it was disturbing him apparently. It happened the first time because our builder took it in. He sent his wife across to collect several times and never apologised for his awful behaviour, so one day I said no. The postman explained we were their nominated address, and I told him we never agreed to this and we wouldn’t be doing it again. People should have the decency to ask first. YANBU.

Just don't answer the door. Or put a sign up saying you won't take in parcels it's good to stay active though, so getting up to the door isn't necessarily a bad thing.
As to the parcels , ask the courier and the collector yo do the putting down and pucking up.