Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

[wildgreyocean]

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

Sadly I think post covid a subset of people (apparently 22 percent if this poll is accurate) have convinced themselves that they we would all be able to avoid the majority of respiratory diseases if people just stayed home every time they had any symptom. It’s obviously bonkers, not least because the diseases often spread outside the period of symptons but also because we would all be spending an insane amount of time isolating at home - but you won’t be able to convince them that these diseases are just an acceptable part of living in society.

I wouldn't have shouted at you but I do wish people who were sick would keep out of enclosed spaces. DH and I went to two events last weekend where there were people who were obviously sick. We have both been ill all week. I was diagnosed with pneumonia yesterday. Lucky you that you feel well enough to go out. Your cold could be a serious illness for someone else. Did we learn nothing from Covid?

It's downright ridiculous. Coughs often linger for 3 or 4 weeks after a cold. He can't expect people to become hermits. Not to mention for all he knew you were asthmatic and had nothing infectious at all, or had swallowed a sip the wrong way, or were clearing your throat.

If they want to reduce the spread of coughs, perhaps we could allow schools to allow kids a day off when they're feeling rough instead of demanding they're on the premises unless actually hospitalised or throwing up. Far more colds spreading through the school system than an adult sitting on their own in a coffee shop.

What I’ve learned from covid is that a lot of people have lives that can apparently just stop out of nowhere.

well i think this shows how you actually think. you want your hot chocolate, screw everyone else. You’re entitled to that attitude but you can’t stop others from thinking that you are selfish and gross.

many people will silently judge you and agree with the old man, although they may not say it. You have no right to not be judged.

Yeah we’ve got young kids in the family and if I were to take time off work every time I had a sniffle and felt under the weather I would be sacked within two weeks

Absolutely!
“Why can’t you sit on a sofa and watch Netflix?” “Go to the park if you’re so desperate to go out.”
And all that because of a mild cold 🥴
Meanwhile, schools are sending out mails about attendance and are telling parents that cough and a runny nose are no reason for keeping their kids at home.

I've had a cold this week. By your reckoning I should have stayed at home and left 30 children without a teacher this week.

Oh, stop. You were getting a hot chocolate! no need to pretend you were providing some much needed honourable service that society can’t do without.

Ngl a solid 75% of why I’m feeling this way is likely due to the fact I’m about 95% cheese and carbs now

Jesus Christ. If everyone who had a cough or a sniffle stayed at home until it went away completely then the whole country would grind to a halt.

If you go to a crowded place during the winter months then you take your health in your own hands and accept that there is a risk that you may catch something off someone else. And if you are so angry at people living their lives in a totally normal and reasonable way that you resort to shouting at them in public then maybe it’s you that needs to isolate yourself away and not choose to enter enclosed spaces during the winter months.

I am sick to the back teeth of people thinking their neuroses are other people’s problem.

You didn't use a tissue to cover your mouth, which is pretty disgusting. I'm with the old man.

I’m in two minds, he shouldn’t have shouted and certainly we don’t all have the luxury of staying home but going into a coffee shop isn’t essential, whilst I do shop with a cold i wouldn’t go into a crowded cafe. Coughing into your elbow doesn’t always cover everything like a hand either

I covered my mouth.

No but I fancied a hot drink because I was cold and tired! That’s allowed too.

Neither of you are at fault and both of you are being silly.

In your defence, you’re quite right; it would be horrible for you to stay cooped up indoors every time you got a standard cold and part of life is catching colds. It’s impossible to go through life without catching bugs. However, he’s probably quite frightened. We’ve gone through something unprecedented in living memory where lots of us lost people. And now the news is full of hospitals being full and the flu putting people in intensive care. If he’s elderly, he’s probably frightened that catching something that sounds as nasty as coughs can do, might be what finishes him off. Fear can do things like that to people.

On the other hand, if he feels that worried about his health then it’s him who needs to make the effort to stay away from other people. Life can’t stop just because you don’t want to get ill. Unfortunately, this isn’t helped by people who do go to places knowing they’ve got something nasty and contagious, and who firmly believe that their desire to go out and socialise is greater than anyone else’s need to stay out of hospital. That because nobody has gone on tv and told them that they specifically aren’t allowed to do something, it’s perfectly ok to go and visit great aunty Ethel in her retirement home despite having early symptoms of something nasty brewing.

Try and let it go; you haven’t done anything wrong and he’s just frightened. You’ve been out for some fresh air, you’ve had a nice coffee. With any luck it’ll be gone in a few days and you can have a healthy and germ free Christmas. This man doesn’t have the power to ruin anything for you.

Don’t be so utterly stupid.

If anyone is worried about getting sick before Christmas then they can surely choose to stay away from crowded coffee shops, it’s not essential they go either afterall. Thousands of people are walking around with colds, coughs etc at this time of year, I have had a hacking cough for weeks following the flu and I honestly wouldn’t even consider not going out other than the first couple of days with flu. Life can’t stop every time you catch a cold.

I do think there is a distinction to be drawn between going to necessary places (e.g. work) with a cold and going out and about for leisure. If possible, I think people should stay at home when they have a cold - if WFH is an option - but if they have to go to work, so be it. I wouldn't be very pleased if someone was coughing or sneezing in a coffee shop. Colds hit me hard and take weeks to shake off.

Bloody hell it's like covid all over again. Coughs can linger for weeks. The country would grind to a halt if we all stayed at home for weeks with a cough.

If he’s frightened he should stay home. OP
is in no way at fault. People are allowed to cough.

It’s winter. Lots of people have coughs and colds and sneezing and coughing. I am retired now but when working I would stay home and work from there if I could and now I avoid enclosed areas to prevent passing it on to others. The odd cough though after having a cold a week or ten days ago I would go into shops/restaurants so YANBU. If people are so concerned about catching stuff then they are free to avoid enclosed spaces. Sounds like this man has extreme health anxiety and if you covered your mouth when coughing he was out of line. His health anxiety does not trump your need to be out and about. If you were continually coughing I would say it probably wasn’t the best idea to go into shops or cafes. There is always online shopping if you are unwell.

Yep. The only way to deal with this is to keep telling them to fuck off, again and again and again.

Oh gosh, I've done that thing where I've swallowed a bit of saliva, it's gone down the wrong way and I have a massive coughing fit. 😅

There's some really sanctimonious people on this thread! I had a cold at the start of October (just as I was due to go into hospital for a procedure under general anesthetic.) Phoned them up to tell them, they said it's fine. I felt fine other than having a bit of a sore throat on the day I had to go in.

Yes it is, ignore the idiots.