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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:27

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:27

Another symptom of a respiratory illness. Post-nasal drip is a condition where excess mucus accumulates in the back of the throat, often caused by respiratory illnesses like colds and sinus infections.

Edited
Show quote history

Also a symptom of my horrible malformed turbinates. But you do you

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 21:28

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:27

Another symptom of a respiratory illness. Post-nasal drip is a condition where excess mucus accumulates in the back of the throat, often caused by respiratory illnesses like colds and sinus infections.

Edited
Show quote history

Or just an issue that OP has already posted about that she has addressed with someone from ENT.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:29

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:27

No, the NHS absolutely does not say that if you have a cold you need to wear a mask and avoid all but essential trips out.

Show quote history

Here it is, look at #8:

*Here is a list of simple actions you can take to reduce the spread of respiratory infections, and protect those at highest risk:

  1. Get vaccinated if you are eligible
  2. If you are feeling unwell, stay at home
  3. If you’re meeting people indoors, open a window for fresh air. Just keep in mind the room temperature and whether anyone might be sensitive to the cold
  4. Practise good hygiene:
  5. cough into your bent elbow, or use a tissue and dispose of it afterwards in the nearest bin
  6. wash your hands frequently with warm water and soap
  7. clean your surroundings often, especially areas that are touched frequently such as door handles
  8. Wear a mask when you are unwell and need to go out*
DahlsChickenz · 20/12/2025 21:29

Some of you wanging on about imaginary guidelines and selfish behaviour would be the first to complain about the absolute societal collapse which would ensue if everyone took your advice and stayed at home for the duration of any cold and its lingering symptoms.

Schools, hospitals, the service industry, public services etc would all completely disintegrate if everyone stayed at home until every lingering trace of a cold was gone.

I bet most of you don't even follow your own advice and are more than happy to get yourselves out and about when you've got the last traces of a cough or a stuffy nose. You just like feeling self righteous and imagining you have moral superiority.

Binus · 20/12/2025 21:29

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:22

Or unilaterally decided that they should go to the back of the queue.

Yes the shouting was not on, but OP’s attitude of I have had a cold all week but instead of getting a coffee to take away, I’ll just sit in the cafe drinking it and coughing. She even said that if my cold is actually Covid, it wouldn't make a difference to her. She would have done it anyway.

Selfish and entitled.

Show quote history

No, he unilaterally decided OP shouldn't be out in public. He didn't say anything about queues. This is not actually usual and accepted behaviour in our society. Thankfully, and despite the contributions of some of the more morally suspect posters on this thread. There will have been any number of people out today with coughs, some of whom alone and easy targets, and most of them will have been able to go out their days unbothered.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 21:29

beingtakenforafool · 20/12/2025 21:27

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice that guidance clearly says stay at home if you have a temp, many people will have to work with a cold as cannot be off home and they may be serving in shops / cafes etc as well or travelling on public transport

Exactly. I said in a PP that the staff in my local cafe had a cold. She had to work or the place would close.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:29

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:29

Here it is, look at #8:

*Here is a list of simple actions you can take to reduce the spread of respiratory infections, and protect those at highest risk:

  1. Get vaccinated if you are eligible
  2. If you are feeling unwell, stay at home
  3. If you’re meeting people indoors, open a window for fresh air. Just keep in mind the room temperature and whether anyone might be sensitive to the cold
  4. Practise good hygiene:
  5. cough into your bent elbow, or use a tissue and dispose of it afterwards in the nearest bin
  6. wash your hands frequently with warm water and soap
  7. clean your surroundings often, especially areas that are touched frequently such as door handles
  8. Wear a mask when you are unwell and need to go out*
Edited
Show quote history

WHEN YOU ARE UNWELL, I AM NOT UNWELL

OP posts:
Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:30

DahlsChickenz · 20/12/2025 21:29

Some of you wanging on about imaginary guidelines and selfish behaviour would be the first to complain about the absolute societal collapse which would ensue if everyone took your advice and stayed at home for the duration of any cold and its lingering symptoms.

Schools, hospitals, the service industry, public services etc would all completely disintegrate if everyone stayed at home until every lingering trace of a cold was gone.

I bet most of you don't even follow your own advice and are more than happy to get yourselves out and about when you've got the last traces of a cough or a stuffy nose. You just like feeling self righteous and imagining you have moral superiority.

Oh they definitely all go out with a cold, but pretend it's fine because they're not actually that unwell.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 21:31

Binus · 20/12/2025 21:29

No, he unilaterally decided OP shouldn't be out in public. He didn't say anything about queues. This is not actually usual and accepted behaviour in our society. Thankfully, and despite the contributions of some of the more morally suspect posters on this thread. There will have been any number of people out today with coughs, some of whom alone and easy targets, and most of them will have been able to go out their days unbothered.

Show quote history

I went to Lidl earlier. I heard a lot of sniffing and coughing. It is just normal human sounds to me.
I got on with my shop, and I did not approach anyone and shout at them.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:31

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 21:28

Or just an issue that OP has already posted about that she has addressed with someone from ENT.

Show quote history

Except OP also says she is sick for most of a year.
A post nasal drip is a symptom of a respiratory illness or allergies.
It’s not a separate condition.

You seem to be over your head.

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 21:31

DahlsChickenz · 20/12/2025 21:29

Some of you wanging on about imaginary guidelines and selfish behaviour would be the first to complain about the absolute societal collapse which would ensue if everyone took your advice and stayed at home for the duration of any cold and its lingering symptoms.

Schools, hospitals, the service industry, public services etc would all completely disintegrate if everyone stayed at home until every lingering trace of a cold was gone.

I bet most of you don't even follow your own advice and are more than happy to get yourselves out and about when you've got the last traces of a cough or a stuffy nose. You just like feeling self righteous and imagining you have moral superiority.

Or even …..shock horror
care about others

LighthouseLED · 20/12/2025 21:31

I don’t know why people are dwelling just on the cafe visit tbh

Because that’s the bit OP asked about?

EasternStandard · 20/12/2025 21:32

DahlsChickenz · 20/12/2025 21:29

Some of you wanging on about imaginary guidelines and selfish behaviour would be the first to complain about the absolute societal collapse which would ensue if everyone took your advice and stayed at home for the duration of any cold and its lingering symptoms.

Schools, hospitals, the service industry, public services etc would all completely disintegrate if everyone stayed at home until every lingering trace of a cold was gone.

I bet most of you don't even follow your own advice and are more than happy to get yourselves out and about when you've got the last traces of a cough or a stuffy nose. You just like feeling self righteous and imagining you have moral superiority.

It’s not possible. Stay at home came with a hefty dose of furlough. People are going to do stuff with colds. It’s bonkers that anyone thinks everyone will stay at home.

Dawnb19 · 20/12/2025 21:33

I've got asthma so will cough when coming in from the cold. Any change in air temperature will set me off coughing ones or twice. I always cough into a tissues or my elbow but I can't help having asthma. 🫣 But I understand why people are scared, especially older people that watch the news or listen to the radio a lot.

DahlsChickenz · 20/12/2025 21:34

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 21:31

Or even …..shock horror
care about others

Show quote history

Yeah, because you're exhibiting so much care by haranguing OP after an incident in which a man behaved in an unhinged way to her while she was going about her business as she is perfectly entitled to do.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:34

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:29

WHEN YOU ARE UNWELL, I AM NOT UNWELL

Show quote history

You were unwell in the cafe. You were coughing and had a post nasal drip. You’d had a cold (respiratory illnesses) for a week and these were the lingering symptoms of your illness. Just because you had to go to the shops unwell, and were able to, that does not mean you were perfectly well.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:34

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:31

Except OP also says she is sick for most of a year.
A post nasal drip is a symptom of a respiratory illness or allergies.
It’s not a separate condition.

You seem to be over your head.

Show quote history

I have told you, multiple times, that I have sinus issues. These have largely been addressed by the functional endoscopic sinus plus turbinate reduction surgery that I had over the summer, but my ENT consultant explained to me that post nasal drip would be something I always lived with, because of the way my sinuses are formed. He said it may actually be slightly worse now, as he has opened up my sinuses and allowed them to drain better.

I have said that I have previously had colds for a lot of the year - again caused by my sinus issues and the effect they were having on my immune system. But I guess you know me better than my surgeon.

OP posts:
Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:35

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:34

You were unwell in the cafe. You were coughing and had a post nasal drip. You’d had a cold (respiratory illnesses) for a week and these were the lingering symptoms of your illness. Just because you had to go to the shops unwell, and were able to, that does not mean you were perfectly well.

Show quote history

I do not know how many more fucking times you can be told that I have post nasal drip due to my deformed sinuses. I genuinely don't. I coughed. That is a NORMAL HUMAN FUNCTION

OP posts:
EasternStandard · 20/12/2025 21:35

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:34

You were unwell in the cafe. You were coughing and had a post nasal drip. You’d had a cold (respiratory illnesses) for a week and these were the lingering symptoms of your illness. Just because you had to go to the shops unwell, and were able to, that does not mean you were perfectly well.

Show quote history

How will everything function when everyone with a cold has to stay home? Do you remember the disruption of Covid?

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 21:36

EasternStandard · 20/12/2025 21:35

How will everything function when everyone with a cold has to stay home? Do you remember the disruption of Covid?

Show quote history

Apparently I need to be at home year round now as my post nasal drip is actually a respiratory illness.

OP posts:
ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 20/12/2025 21:37

I’ll admit I wasn’t impressed when I met up with a friend last week and she turned up with a bad cold. But the person on the next table to us was also coughing, and I dare say that a few of the people who weren’t coughing may have been at the infectious state of a cold that isn’t yet showing. It’s difficult at this time of year as there is so much going around and often the people who are actually coughing are those who had an illness three or more weeks back and are no longer infectious.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 21:37

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:34

You were unwell in the cafe. You were coughing and had a post nasal drip. You’d had a cold (respiratory illnesses) for a week and these were the lingering symptoms of your illness. Just because you had to go to the shops unwell, and were able to, that does not mean you were perfectly well.

Show quote history

A cough and post nasal drip does not mean someone is oozing germs all over the place.

Maybe, just maybe, the man who shouted at her... spreading droplets and germs , is also going to make lots of people ill over xmas because he could not control his emotions.

Megifer · 20/12/2025 21:38

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 21:34

You were unwell in the cafe. You were coughing and had a post nasal drip. You’d had a cold (respiratory illnesses) for a week and these were the lingering symptoms of your illness. Just because you had to go to the shops unwell, and were able to, that does not mean you were perfectly well.

Show quote history

What is the problem? Op was, intentionally or not, following the guidance you posted - she did not feel unwell so carried on with her normal activities. Why are you droning on? 🤣🤣

RisingSunn · 20/12/2025 21:38

YANBU…but I’ll tell you who was unreasonable…the woman on the Tube the other day - obviously on her way to a Christmas party with a bright red nose from blowing and weeping eyes! Who then sneezed with no tissue 😣

StandingSideBySide · 20/12/2025 21:38

LighthouseLED · 20/12/2025 21:31

I don’t know why people are dwelling just on the cafe visit tbh

Because that’s the bit OP asked about?

OP asked about a guy shouting at her not on whether it was right for her to visit a cafe
Yet most are actually talking about her being out and about …