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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
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10
SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:40

sprigatito · 20/12/2025 20:39

Poor form to check someone’s edit and comment on the original 😂

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Excuse me? She edited in her reply after I had commented on her initial post.
see her post at 20:22.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:40

sprigatito · 20/12/2025 20:39

Poor form to check someone’s edit and comment on the original 😂

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I didn't actually delete those words so I have no idea what they are on about.

UncannyFanny · 20/12/2025 20:41

I’ve only felt differently about this since Covid. Last week I was on a crowded bus and a woman coughed and spluttered the entire journey. I actually felt afraid of catching the obvious cold/virus she had. Being vulnerable to complications I worry more than I did before Covid. Obviously not everyone can stay off work but if you’re coughing as much as this lady was, common sense would tell you that maybe spreading it to a whole bus load of people was a bit unfair.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:42

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:40

I didn't actually delete those words so I have no idea what they are on about.

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You did in your response to me. You self censored.

Binus · 20/12/2025 20:42

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:40

Same. I can get over a cold. Rest and Lemsip if needed. Being shouted out in public would mean I would isolate at home out of fear, and be a mess.

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I didn't really get the question because you won't generally know who's given you a cold if you go out in public, notwithstanding that many MNers seem convinced that whatever ails them must've come from someone acting selfishly rather than asymptomatic transmission. Whereas of course you know about it if someone's kicked off at you in public- you'll be very aware of who did it and when.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:43

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:35

OP has post nasal drip. A PP has lung cancer.
People cough. Cough does not mean death.
I mean, you are accusing me of being hyperbolic but I think you should take a look in the mirror.

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I see you in the mirror.

ChubRubADub · 20/12/2025 20:44

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:33

Yes, from people who are asymptomatic. People like OP who know they have a cold and a cough should not be swanning about sitting in cafes and coughing their heads off. It’s antisocial and selfish.

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As I said upthread

(a) my train in the morning has been full of coughers since about October

(b) its well known that viral coughs can linger when people are no longer infectious and even during covid it wasn’t suggested people with residual coughs had to stay home after the isolation period

and also

(c) no one can control what other people do. There’s no law against people going out whether they feel well, shit or somewhere in between irrespective of how “selfish” the neurotic find it, and it’s sensible to take account of that in decision making

EasternStandard · 20/12/2025 20:44

Sesma · 20/12/2025 20:38

That was for the benefit of the striking doctors, once it was clear they were still striking, flu suddenly stopped being mentioned

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There was a More or Less on this. It’s not as bad as made out.

DahlsChickenz · 20/12/2025 20:45

FestiveFruitloop · 20/12/2025 19:55

Why assume it’s health anxiety if someone doesn’t want to catch something and get ill? Especially this near Christmas.

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If someone's fear of getting ill extends to the point that they think a person with a cough should be staying at home and avoiding the public, then it is health anxiety. And health anxiety can be debilitating and awful, but it's the responsibility of the person who has it to manage. The entire public can't arrange themselves around mitigating other people's anxieties.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:45

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:43

I see you in the mirror.

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Mine cracks when I look in it, but ok.

scalt · 20/12/2025 20:45

because the NHS is dealing with the worst flu season in a decade.
And according to some of the papers, it was in 2024. And 2023. And 2022.... and 2019... and 2018... and 2017... and 2016...
"worst flu season ever"... "NHS on its knees..." "NHS winter crisis..."
every single year. It appears in a paper somewhere every winter, usually The Guardian. You can play bingo with them.

I can think of a retort to give this gentleman, but quoting it here would probably bring about a deletion message.

Sesma · 20/12/2025 20:45

There will be loads of people out with viruses that are not showing yet, they are generally the most contagious and you don't know.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:46

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:42

You did in your response to me. You self censored.

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I have looked through all my posts and there was not one I edited where I removed words.
I added things I forgot about, and that is it.

Shedeboodinia · 20/12/2025 20:47

My grandad won't leave the house when he is ill or go to a relatives house if they have a cold. He has a fear of getting ill and then going downhill. It's an very real fear.
However, he would not shout at anyone like this.
Just because someone is elderly doesn't mean they weren't, aren't and can't be an absolute arsehole.

usedtobeaylis · 20/12/2025 20:50

Tessisme · 20/12/2025 18:52

OP clearly knows she didn't have a flu, she'd have been unable to function out of bed.

I keep seeing this nonsense and, although I know it won’t make a blind bit of difference, l’m going to say this is utter nonsense. Some people have very mild symptoms with the flu and others have no symptoms at all. You know to a reasonable degree of certainty that it’s the flu if you have a fever, the shivers, can’t get out of bed and are possibly even hallucinating. But you don’t know for certain that it ISN’T flu just because you can walk and talk. I’m not saying people shouldn’t go out with their mild symptoms of unknown origin, but they need to be aware that it isn’t necessarily a cold. That means being respectful and not coughing all over people in confined spaces.

Its tiring to have to keep saying this isn't it. If you couldn't have mild flu symptoms there would be absolutely no point in the vaccine.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:50

ChubRubADub · 20/12/2025 20:44

As I said upthread

(a) my train in the morning has been full of coughers since about October

(b) its well known that viral coughs can linger when people are no longer infectious and even during covid it wasn’t suggested people with residual coughs had to stay home after the isolation period

and also

(c) no one can control what other people do. There’s no law against people going out whether they feel well, shit or somewhere in between irrespective of how “selfish” the neurotic find it, and it’s sensible to take account of that in decision making

Show quote history

No law against having an opinion that it is selfish and antisocial behaviour.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:52

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:46

I have looked through all my posts and there was not one I edited where I removed words.
I added things I forgot about, and that is it.

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I never said you edited a post. I said that saying “aggressive man shouting at a lone women” was hyperbole. You then responded what is hyperbolic about saying a man shouted at her? You deleted the bits that made your initial statement hyperbolic.,

shuggles · 20/12/2025 20:53

muggart · 20/12/2025 19:28

it’s not about panicking, it’s about showing common courtesy to your fellow humans.

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Coughs and colds are managed by general "catch it, bin it, kill it" advice, along with regular hand-washing.

Again, isolation has never been a requirement with the common cold, and the expectation would be that people carry on as normal and go to work with a cold.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 20:53

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:49

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First - one random "TV medic"

Second - London medic says to not use the tube if you have the flu. Duh.

Third - about Norovirus.

Fourth - NHS Sussex says if you catch the flu you don't have to go to A&E and you can recover at home.

Fifth - 'cover mouth' (as I did)

Sixth - wear a mask if sick. I am not sick.

Seventh - about Norovirus. Again.

Eight - clickbait nonsense to try and stop the strikes.

Nice try though!

OP posts:
henlake7 · 20/12/2025 20:54

I hate people coughing near me. Logically I know that your more likely to be infectious at the start of an illness, when you might be asymptomatic. Also coughs linger so a cough doesn't necessarily mean they are contagious.
Coughs just sound like germs, don't they!?😂

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:54

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:51

Thank you for taking the time but red top papers are not authorities on health matters,

Post actual guidance from the NHS.

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Thank you for not taking the time to click on or even read any of the links you seemed so anxious to receive,

If you had you would have seen that the articles are quoting the UKHSA and NHS bosses, including the chief of NHS London.

It is NHS guidance.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:55

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:52

I never said you edited a post. I said that saying “aggressive man shouting at a lone women” was hyperbole. You then responded what is hyperbolic about saying a man shouted at her? You deleted the bits that made your initial statement hyperbolic.,

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I did not delete anything. When I edit, I add to it, or change cringy typos. Deleting and changing the context is against MN talk guidelines.

Me saying a man shouting at a woman for coughing is not acceptable is not hyperbolic at all. I can't believe there are that many people on here thinking it is acceptable TBH.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 20:55

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:54

Thank you for not taking the time to click on or even read any of the links you seemed so anxious to receive,

If you had you would have seen that the articles are quoting the UKHSA and NHS bosses, including the chief of NHS London.

It is NHS guidance.

Show quote history

Then post a link from the NHS