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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
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10
TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 18:59

"Yes, of course. I covered my mouth with my elbow and was sat at a table alone. I didn’t cough on anyone’s drinks."

Please can you explain how you managed to cover your mouth with your elbow OP. I'm sitting here in contortions trying to do this and my elbow is refusing to go anywhere near my mouth.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:00

TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 18:59

"Yes, of course. I covered my mouth with my elbow and was sat at a table alone. I didn’t cough on anyone’s drinks."

Please can you explain how you managed to cover your mouth with your elbow OP. I'm sitting here in contortions trying to do this and my elbow is refusing to go anywhere near my mouth.

The inside of your elbow. It was advice given out during Covid too.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:00

TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 18:59

"Yes, of course. I covered my mouth with my elbow and was sat at a table alone. I didn’t cough on anyone’s drinks."

Please can you explain how you managed to cover your mouth with your elbow OP. I'm sitting here in contortions trying to do this and my elbow is refusing to go anywhere near my mouth.

Bring your arm up to your mouth. Inside of elbow, meet lips.

OP posts:
Devonshiregal · 20/12/2025 19:02

Thechaseison71 · 20/12/2025 17:08

I assume your employer is fine with you sitting watching Netflix if you have a sniffle. Meanwhile others need to work. Get real

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She was in a coffee shop - and stated she couldn’t stay in because she’d ‘go insane’. Nothing to do with needing to work.

EasternStandard · 20/12/2025 19:03

TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 18:59

"Yes, of course. I covered my mouth with my elbow and was sat at a table alone. I didn’t cough on anyone’s drinks."

Please can you explain how you managed to cover your mouth with your elbow OP. I'm sitting here in contortions trying to do this and my elbow is refusing to go anywhere near my mouth.

As in pp inside of.. children are taught to do it at school too these days

Mumtobabyhavoc · 20/12/2025 19:05

TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 18:59

"Yes, of course. I covered my mouth with my elbow and was sat at a table alone. I didn’t cough on anyone’s drinks."

Please can you explain how you managed to cover your mouth with your elbow OP. I'm sitting here in contortions trying to do this and my elbow is refusing to go anywhere near my mouth.

🙄

ChubRubADub · 20/12/2025 19:05

TheWillToSurvive · 20/12/2025 18:16

As someone who is clinically vulnerable I would be distressed to hear your cough and would agree that you should be home recovering and protecting others.

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If someone coughing causes you “distress” you’d be better shielding, as people coughing in public has happened every winter for god knows how long. It’s only since Covid that people have claimed to be “clinically vulnerable” and lost their shit over it though

inamarina · 20/12/2025 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

She wasn’t spitting, fgs! 😩
Everyone agreed with him? More likely no one wanted to be shouted at next. Jeez, this thread…

Stressedoutmummyof3 · 20/12/2025 19:06

The world doesn't stop because people have colds and coughs. My DD works in childcare (first winter) and has had a cough and cold for at least two months. It's a risk you take in that job because as we all know children aren't super hygienic.
I wouldn't expect her to hide away. If people are so worried about getting a cold (especially in winter) then they should stay home or wear a mask or just get on with it.
I mean DD and everyone she works with could all self isolate but then I expect you'd all be moaning about having no childcare.

TamzinGrey · 20/12/2025 19:10

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:00

Bring your arm up to your mouth. Inside of elbow, meet lips.

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Oh I see what you mean now. I was trying to get my actual elbow up to my mouth, not the inside of my elbow. Still can't make my lips meet the inside of my elbow but that's probably due to being unfit.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 20/12/2025 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

"I imagine you were braying like an old goat-despite trying to present it as a Jane Austen fart into a tissue-for someone to shout at you."

MN is 🔥 today! 😭😂

LevelHed · 20/12/2025 19:15

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:54

Exactly this! I get lingering coughs and my nose almost constantly runs so I don’t know what I can do

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Well, you don't HAVE to go in to a coffee shop now do you. People are so selfish.

Grendel7 · 20/12/2025 19:16

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:53

It’s definitely not a nice cough but also, is a cough ever nice? It sounds a lot chestier than it is because thanks to ongoing sinus issues I get post nasal drip from even the most minor of hay fever.

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Oh,thats sounds disgusting. I would have shouted at you! Take your germs home and stay there.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:16

LevelHed · 20/12/2025 19:15

Well, you don't HAVE to go in to a coffee shop now do you. People are so selfish.

Show quote history

So I can never go in a coffee shop again, because I’ve got a sinus issue,

OP posts:
Puffsox · 20/12/2025 19:19

Wear a mask.Official guidance says not really effective but it is reassuring to others! Of course,you have to remove it to drink your coffee,but it is still a lot better than nothing for allaying anxieties.@

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:19

LevelHed · 20/12/2025 19:15

Well, you don't HAVE to go in to a coffee shop now do you. People are so selfish.

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OK, so anyone with post-nasal drip/asthma/COPD/lung cancer etc, not go to cafes ever so the worried well can be less anxious.
Hospitality is struggling as it is.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 19:20

Puffsox · 20/12/2025 19:19

Wear a mask.Official guidance says not really effective but it is reassuring to others! Of course,you have to remove it to drink your coffee,but it is still a lot better than nothing for allaying anxieties.@

Wearing a mask makes my sinus issues worse.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:20

Grendel7 · 20/12/2025 19:16

Oh,thats sounds disgusting. I would have shouted at you! Take your germs home and stay there.

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Shouting spreads droplets and germs.
Keep your shouting and health anxiety to yourself and stay the fuck at home.
No one wants to hear someone aggressive shouting in a cafe.

EasternStandard · 20/12/2025 19:21

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:20

Shouting spreads droplets and germs.
Keep your shouting and health anxiety to yourself and stay the fuck at home.
No one wants to hear someone aggressive shouting in a cafe.

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True

Mumtobabyhavoc · 20/12/2025 19:22

Puffsox · 20/12/2025 19:19

Wear a mask.Official guidance says not really effective but it is reassuring to others! Of course,you have to remove it to drink your coffee,but it is still a lot better than nothing for allaying anxieties.@

Wearing a medical mask keeps your germs in. Wearing an N95 in keeps other peoples's germs out.

TempestTost · 20/12/2025 19:23

Sesma · 20/12/2025 17:18

All these vulnerable people should be at home if they are worried about the viral load, not in a cafe.

It's nuts. There will be all kinds of cold and flu germs in public places like that, even if no one in them has symptoms.

If someone doesn't want to be exposed to germs they should stay home themselves, because even if everyone with a cold stays home for 3 weeks there will still be germy people out there who are not showing symptoms.

TorroFerney · 20/12/2025 19:24

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 20/12/2025 15:54

I’d be pissed off if someone with a clear bug was coughing in a space near others. It’s selfish germ-spreading, whether you like hearing that or not. He shouldn’t be shouting though.

Edited

He is a very clever man to be able to tell an infectious person from someone with post nasal drip. NHS need to employ him. He must spend a lot of time shouting. Op is suggests he is scared and can't manage his emotions to be honest. I'd not think anything about it other than feel a bit sorry for him. It wasn't really about you.

queenMab99 · 20/12/2025 19:24

I find if I've had a cold in the past few weeks, a change of air temperature can trigger a cough, so going inside from outside, or visa versa. You were not unreasonable. I am wary of colds and flu as I am over 70, I just don't go in shops or coffee bars much, I'm not a people person anyway!

muggart · 20/12/2025 19:28

shuggles · 20/12/2025 18:51

Some really weird responses in this thread.

The common cold is unpleasant, but it really only causes nuisance symptoms and doesn't prevent people from working or going about their daily business. Isolation has never been a requirement for the common cold, and as far as I can remember, we've always been expected to carry on as normal.

The flu has been causing a lot of strain on the health service, but quite clearly, OP does not have the flu or her symptoms would have been more severe.

I am astonished that there are so many people who go into a full blown panic when they see someone with the common cold, and yet, no one ever seems to bat an eyelid at people (for example) idling their engine for no reason, which is far more harmful to society.

Edited

it’s not about panicking, it’s about showing common courtesy to your fellow humans.

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 19:28

muggart · 20/12/2025 19:28

it’s not about panicking, it’s about showing common courtesy to your fellow humans.

Show quote history

The old man in the OP lacked that.