AIBU? 4 day Fever and I’m panicking

[CaffeineChaosandCuddles]

My daughter is on day 4 of a fever. It’s been anywhere from 37.6-39.5. Calpol / nurofen ALWAYS brings it down ( not to normal, but it reduces )

she’s negative for Flu A, B & Covid

Today she’s only needed one lot of Calpol which brought a temp of 38.0 to around the 37.5 mark, which I’m happy with, but yesterday afternoon it snot up again to 39.5 so I feel incredibly anxious and on edge.

shes seen a GP, said her chest was clear and said tonsillitis immediately after looking in her throat, and gave her antibiotics - but stated it could be viral, but antibiotics are to be taken incase it’s bacterial.

her symptoms are/have been:

• coughing
• snotty ( more today )
• headaches ( gone today )
• lack of appetite ( which seems to be back today, ate a fruit salad for breakfast, pizza at lunch and is now asking for a hot chocolate )

I suffer with terrible health anxiety since my son was born extremely premature and was on life support 18 months ago.

my eldest is very rarely sick, so to see her ill- my mind races to like a child hood cancer, like leuk because of the temps going up for 4 days now.

I spoke to the doctor last night and he didn’t really seem concerned. Can 4 days of temp simply be normal for a virus?! ( or bacterial, but me and husband are swaying towards virus because she’s been on the antibiotics for 72 hours now and other symptoms improving, the temp isn’t )

AIBU to catastrophise? thank you. X

❤️ sorry you’ve been through something so traumatic, but I agree, those that haven’t gone through it simply, do not understand.

I also can’t believe we are in 2025 and people, especially other mums feel it’s ok to kick another mum while she is down.

my children are the most loved, protected and cared for children.

just because I’m extremely concerned about a temperature / virus being 6 days long, I’m getting kicked.

Can you read? I said I don’t need to take it to know she’s got a fever, do you expect me to not go near and cuddle my child?

ITS THE FEVER THATS TRIGGERING, NOT TAKING IT.

Everyone I know is poorly at the moment. Coughs, colds and headaches etc. Sounds like this is what she has. I know how hard HA is as I have it myself but have got over it pretty well. Try and reassure yourself with what the GP said.

So what techniques are you using right now to address your anxiety? What have you been told in therapy to do to manage your catastrophising? Because everything you are doing on this thread serves to feed that anxiety not resolve it.

Thank you lovely ❤️ I think it’s just the fever that is worrying me, the cough cold part is typical and I can see it… just never known a fever to last 6 days!

I am trying all the breathing techniques, grounding techniques, I start hypnotherapy on the 29th, which I’m hoping will help. Lots of the techniques therapy has taught me is pretty shorted lived. I’m hoping the hypnotherapy, mixed with the new anxiety meds will help hugely.

That’s good.

But it doesn’t sound as though you are using any cognitive behavioural techniques?

That would require you to find a way to correct your thinking internally rather than repeatedly seeking reassurance from family/friends and the internet, which gives you only temporary relief and then starts the cycle again. You’ve been reassured repeatedly on here and are no less anxious - doesn’t that tell you that it isn’t the right approach?

I’ve not done any cognitive behavioural therapy. Perhaps I’ll see if there’s anything on YouTube.

not sure how this will help now with the fact I’ve already catastrophised so much with my little girl, but thank you x

Look, your little girl is fine. She has a run of the mill bug, she’ll recover but will get many more.

It’s really important that you find a way to cope with future illness and I’d try and focus now on diverting the excess of nervous energy you have around this into learning some CBT or ACT techniques to use at points of stress. So every time you are tempted to post on here, feel her forehead or text family, I would push yourself to do some research into your own condition and to learn/implement the techniques.

For what it’s worth I am married to someone with terrible health anxiety and there are times when his obsession with whatever thing is worrying him has nearly pushed our marriage to the edge. It has definitely ruined special days, holidays, Christmases because it’s all he can think about sometimes and it massively affects his ability to converse normally and have fun. It is of course something the kids have also picked up on and I’ve had to manage him and then very carefully so that they don’t pick up on his moods and start to see cancer and death around every corner like he does.

DH also had very good reason to develop these fears, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be addressed. He’s made massive strides with medication and therapy but he worked extremely hard on it - constantly reading CBT books, doing homework, listening to podcasts. It won’t go away by itself and the therapist was very clear that the worst thing he could do for his own mental health was constantly seek and be given reassurance by the well meaning people around him. That prevented him from ever having to address his own issues and heal.

@CaffeineChaosandCuddles I hate the way you're being treated on this thread. It's so common when somebody has a disproportionate health worry or actually admits they have health anxiety, that people will respond with "get help for your health anxiety" but it doesn't sound sincere or kind. Rather like a taunt. Like "you're crazy, you need help". Also assuming health anxiety can just be fixed. I had therapy for my own health anxiety for years and it improved but just isn't fixed and will never be totally fixed. It's ingrained into my personality and I live with it. What happened with your son would traumatise anyone. My own health anxiety started being more directed at my kids after a close friend's 3 year old was diagnosed with cancer. These things change how you see the world and it's not shameful and doesn't make you a bad person. I was also upset by "a parent with health anxiety is not a normal parent"! It's not kind to taunt someone that they're going to pass health anxiety onto their own child. I've done my absolute best not to show my daughter how much I worry about her health, but I still have anxiety that I'm giving her anxiety. It's not necessary for anyone to point it out because you're probably already worried about that.

thank you. It feels great to be heard ❤️

Thank you. Thank you for understanding from an outsider looking in. Xx

No it isn't belittling.

Its trying to show you how irrational you're being ! But you're not interested.

As nurses we never look at one number in isolation as its pointless. That was what the poster was trying to get you to understand, to put it in context!

Seriously @CaffeineChaosandCuddles you need help, not your daughter.

Gosh there are some really vile people on this thread. I know people like to be superior on MN but the snide and insulting comments to a mother who has had a seriously ill baby and is simply now worried about her sick child are fucking gross. What’s wrong with people?
It doesn’t sound like she’s obsessively checking her temperature, she can tell she feels warm and after this amount of time I can see why it’s alarming. I don’t think you need to worry op, she sounds ok in her behaviour and that’s the main thing to go on.
All those sniping ‘get help’ should probably follow their own advice and address the reasons why they feel they have to be so needlessly cruel to someone who is struggling. It isn’t being said in a helpful or supportive way, it’s playground mean girl shit, shameful.

Nobody is being cruel.

You would say that, because you’re the one being cruel

That's one way to interpret good solid advice.

But you carry on.