Kid yelling Santa isn’t real at a Christmas party

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So I took my 5 year old old to a Christmas party for age 3-8 , parents were to stay to watch their children. Santa came towards the end which we were not expecting, my daughter still believes. A slightly older child kept shouting Santa wasn’t real for a prolonged time 5 mins ish . Parents did nothing, staff were uncomfortable and tried to shush him. Honestly I feel so angry that the parents thought it was acceptable for him to try to ruin the magic for younger children. My daughter is very upset and keeps questioning me now. I know if it was my child I’d definitely have taken them out of the room and told them that if they were going to ruin the magic for others they don’t deserve a gift. I’m not a perfect parent but I find more and more occasions where it seems like there is no parenting going on. I have 3 children and she is my middle so I don’t think I am being precious but this evening I’m feeling so cross. Am I being unfair, is this normal parenting?

Very inconsiderate parenting but unlikely to cause a problem with santa believers. Kids believe adults not other kids and it's very easy to reassure a small child that the other kid doesn't know what he's talking about.

Right but we’re not talking about a 9yo - PP was just 5 years old at the time. And she’s not “taking pride” in anything - merely telling a story in a factual way.

I’m glad your autistic child has that kind of awareness but many do not. As you well know, all autistic children are different and experience the world differently, and it’s not being “smug, selfish and entitled” to tell the truth, either. What an unpleasant way to speak about a reception age child 😬

Say he doesn’t think he’s real because he’s naughty and Santa doesn’t come for him. 😬

F little shit. I’d have said to my kids “take no notice and he needs to watch it or he won’t be getting any presents”

Including you given you’re prepared to refer to a five year old as smug and entitled.

Why is there always someone bringing up “other cultures who don’t do Santa”, on a thread about a Santa?

Other cultures have their own festivals and traditions.

It’s such an irrelevance.

What an absolute pain in the arse.

Absolutely this.

We've always had the most wonderful Christmases without the need to insist someone in a lovely story is a real person.

Yes it's weird isn't it?

Like they think it's some sort of 'Gotcha' but they haven't quite thought it through.

Because it shows that Santa isn’t be all and end all that parents —on MN— make it out to be.

It’s not supposed to be a “gotcha” - just a way of trying to show how unimportant Santa actually is in the grand scheme of things. All this upset about it is just daft.

just a way of trying to show how unimportant Santa actually is in the grand scheme of things.

That's just your opinion and not everyone shares it 🤷‍♂️

My autistic son really struggles with lies and he has an overwhelming compulsion to correct every tiny detail. Its exhausting but he can't help it.

Santa came to visit the kids on the last day of primary school, he was standing on the school roof waving at home time. He loudly told me it's not really Santa, it's just a teacher in a costume. All I can do in those situations is hurry him away from the scene and try and explain how unkind it is to spoil the magic for other kids. He just doesn't have the ability to self censor no matter how much we pre-warn him and practice (and believe me, we do try).

Perhaps when he's older he will learn more masking skills and be able to pretend he's neurotypical to please the masses. Of course that too comes with it's problems as my daughter has reached autistic burnout from trying to be something she's not. There's no easy solution. Square pegs have to try and fit into round holes in order to get on in the world, but his honesty and integrity is what makes him so perfect to me.

But he is important. In our culture.

Other cultures who do not celebrate him are completely irrelevant. They have their own tradition as and festivals.

Would you tell followers of any other culture that a specific tradition they follow is “unimportant in the grand scheme of things?”

Such weird behaviour. Honestly.

Also - I’ve never met a child who didn’t believe in Santa, or an adult who was ever traumatised by believing in Santa.

These threads are always batshit and I tend to stay away from them.

But honestly, the contempt some people have for their own culture and traditions is pretty sad.

But the UK is not one homogeneous mass of one culture - there are people of all kinds of religions and beliefs, so no, it's not "completely irrelevant" that other people don't believe in him.

And yes, I probably would tell them something was unimportant if they were getting worked up and upset about it - because adults behaving like that is just silly to me.

But then, I'm autistic and used to people finding me "weird" for telling the truth and not following society's weird rules about lying to make people feel better about things.

No contempt here - Santa is a lovely tradition, but it's also nothing to get upset and worked up over if someone else doesn't believe in it the way you do.

I never said they did?

But I am under no obligation to behave in a certain way to pacify those who chose to follow the myth of Santa. That's where people go wrong, I think - they think anyone who tells "the truth" is smug, or mean, or selfish, rather than just someone who does things differently to them.

I was a child who never believed in Santa. Most children stop believing in Santa before they turn 10 at latest.

Finding out or working out that Santa is a myth is an integral part of the cultural tradition.

Sure.

But in reality, I’ve never met a child who didn’t believe in Santa. I only hear about them on Mumsnet.

How do you know you've never met one? It's not something most people go round asking other people's children!

I've got no idea whether the children I know believe in Santa. It's not like I conduct a straw poll whenever I see them.

Are you actually serious?

I don’t go around asking random kids, no.

But all the children in my life write letters to Santa, go to visit Santa, are excited about Santa etc.

What a weird thing to be so hung up over.

Most children believe in Santa.

Deal with it, I guess.

Well you certainly implied it by making a statement.

"just a way of trying to show how unimportant Santa actually is in the grand scheme of things."

Next you'll be telling everyone that Christmas foods and decorations aren't important either.

These things may not be important to you and that's fine but you don't decide for everyone.

Well you don’t really know them at all then, do you?

I did all those things too, because it was part of the "tradition" of Christmas. I didn't believe in him though!