Kid yelling Santa isn’t real at a Christmas party

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So I took my 5 year old old to a Christmas party for age 3-8 , parents were to stay to watch their children. Santa came towards the end which we were not expecting, my daughter still believes. A slightly older child kept shouting Santa wasn’t real for a prolonged time 5 mins ish . Parents did nothing, staff were uncomfortable and tried to shush him. Honestly I feel so angry that the parents thought it was acceptable for him to try to ruin the magic for younger children. My daughter is very upset and keeps questioning me now. I know if it was my child I’d definitely have taken them out of the room and told them that if they were going to ruin the magic for others they don’t deserve a gift. I’m not a perfect parent but I find more and more occasions where it seems like there is no parenting going on. I have 3 children and she is my middle so I don’t think I am being precious but this evening I’m feeling so cross. Am I being unfair, is this normal parenting?

Did you read the part where I said I would take my child out? Clearly not.

It’s a question about Santa on a forum. Try to handle opinions different to yours.

We're not allowed to call children little shits anymore. But he was a little shit. And his parents are arseholes.

Yeah I read it. I also read the rest of your comment.

Ditto.

Are you really not allowed to say that anymore? 😭

most often said by the parents of the dc that are being the little shits…. Aka ‘spirited’ ‘lively’ etc..

Well, usually it would result in a finger wagging, scolding, over privileged lecture on mumsnet but in real life plenty of people still do tbh.

I think there’s middle ground.

shouting out that Santa isn’t real and the parents doing nothing is unnecessary, and the child should have been told to rein it in. But so is the extreme anger at the fact the children were told Santa isn’t real.

Children talk, even friends do, and the topic will come up even among friendship groups. Because once one realises it’s not real, it’s inevitable they will compare notes.

The sneering attitude to those who do believe is pathetic, as is the performative “I was devastated when I realised my parents lied to me.” Bullshit. All children grow up, and as they do, logic tells them the truth. The realisation about Santa is a natural one.

A lot of children pretend to believe long past when the actually do.

I told my primary school class Santa wasn't real. It wasn't a party and I didn't keep yelling it but I just said it loudly. I'd never believed and didn't really understand why I shouldn't say something that was true.

There was a lot of consternation and a bit of crying at the time, I think, and my teacher tried to shush me (and I really didn't understand why).

More importantly though there was no actual damage done to anyone. No one was harmed. No one was traumatised. Children finding out Santa isn't real is a natural, normal part of growing up. They'll usually find out from either other children or using their own brains. It's a positive thing.

What isn't natural or normal is parents going into utter hysterics about losing the magic or whatever. Your child is growing up. Deal with it.

Don't over think it. Ask your DD - "Do you think that behaviour (shouting anything for 5 mins straight infront of a whole party of strangers) is normal?? No its not... so why listen to what hes shouting!?"

You have to guide them to making their own minds up about peoples actions in a way.

Oh I'd have styled this out no bother... it was clearly a very naughty child who knows he won't be on the nice list, he's acting up because he's already had his letter confirming he's on the naughty list. Only people who are on thr naughty list behave like this, look at all the other children here behaving beautifully.... santa will be bringing them lots of presents, just ignore the naughty boy....

Santa isn't real.

This is a fact that your child will be confronted with a number of times across their childhood.

You can't police when or where your child will be faced with this fact. You can only control how you deal with it.

Get the story you want to tell straight. But be aware that at some point your child will know that you have lied/"shared the magic" with them for too long.

How old were you?

This strikes me as a bad lesson to learn.

He is telling the truth!

We were in a Xmas movie today and my 4 yr old (who I'm happily lying to about Santa) yelled 'santa isn't real anyway, it's just an old story people like to tell and those are just people dressed up, mum, mum those are just people dressed up' )

Exactly. I think there are ways of doing it without lying that are just as much fun. Shall we pretend? Shall we play? Shall we see if…?

But I think people, especially with much older siblings or cousins, can easily feel upset when they realise everyone else was in on it, lying to them together. I think it’s much better to sit very lightly to the story and let their imagination fill in the gaps, so that you don’t have to do a big backtrack.

When another child comes out with it, that’s a really good chance to have a discussion. X doesn’t believe that Santa is real, do you? You know, people who don’t believe in Santa like X, still get presents from everyone else, so it’s okay if you’re not sure.

There’s always at least one child in every class who has to shout out first, answer for other people, spoil the end of a story, let everyone know that the santa/fairy/elf wasn’t real, it was a teacher. Such a shame.

Why?
did you do it on purpose to spoil things for others?
did you self righteously feel that as you knew so should everyone?

Classic case of modern parenting when they treat their kid as their "mate"

Badly behaved boy and his parents are inconsiderate and rude not to remove their offspring.
All on the naughty list.

Well yeah, what’s really important here is that we continue lying to our children as a form of control because of course if you’re not good then Father Christmas won’t bring you any presents. We’ll worry about how we’re going to explain it once they reach the last years of primary school and start getting teased and made fun of for believing some rotund old bloke who flies about in the sky with invisible reindeer climbs down their chimney once a year with a sack full of toys that were made in China.

We are staunch atheists. I think God's a load of bollocks. And that religion had been invented and then used to control people to conform and behave in a set way.
But I have taught my children to respect other people's religions, beliefs and view points.

But Santa isnt real. He wasnt lying. Its so weird how parents lie to their kids and then expect everyone else to lie too

He's a patriarchal archetype. Its important we gaslight our children into reverence for such early on. It sets a standard going forward. The naughty list indeed! Just a bit of innocent fun isn't it.

We never did Santa. My kids enjoyed being in on the fact it was a lie, and were proudly responsible about not mentioning it to kids that did believe.