What could this be? Autism? DS3

[imcountingtothree123]

My son ages 3 seems different from my older children and other children. This is a list of my observations:

Speech delay, not really any conversation (only responds no or related words. He has a lot of works and phrases (up to 4/5 words) but doesn’t really talk in sentences

Lack of understanding. He sometimes does what we say but not always.

Lost words

Doesn’t point or wave, doesn’t follow point very often

Repeats words and phrases

Doesn’t answer to name very often

Happy to play alone

Doesn’t join in in group activities, singing

Likes to lay down or be upside down

Licks things

Eye movements

Sometimes walks on tiptoes, flaps or claps hands and spins (but maybe once a day)

Picky eater will only drink from one baby cup

very little pretend or imaginative play

Likes a blanket on him a lot

Watching finger movements

Doesn’t like some texture like dirty hands or playdoh

Wouldn’t know how to ride a bike/scooter

Sometimes stares into space (maybe once a week)

kicks a lot (not people, unless they’re there, just into the air)

he has good eye contact
No meltdowns
Not fussy about routine (starting to notice change and gets upset at nursery when there’s a change but he’s just started there)

can anyone help or relate?

My first thought on reading was ADHD. But I’m not an expert just a parent AuDHD kids. I’d schedule an appointment with your health visitor and maybe ask for a CAMHS referral from your GP. Also ask his nursery what they think. They’re usually really good at spotting the neurodiverse kids.

Thanks, I hadn’t really considered ADHD. He’s only done a few sessions at nursery. They have picked up he likes to play alone and doesn’t talk much but they need more time to see how he is

There are a few traits listed that my Ds has and he is autistic. Contact the health visitor.

Also worth noting I thought my DS had good eye contact but he was assessed by 3 people who noted poor eye contact.

That’s interesting @JLou08I’ll keep an eye on it and see what other people say. I mean if he’s busy playing he wouldn’t really look up if I talk to him but he regularly looks at me to tell me things.

He’s got a three year review coming up, I’ve booked a doctor’s appointment and have private speech therapy booked

I taught SEN. The walking on toes and hand flapping are both autistic traits . Does he line up his toys ? I think you're doing the right thing to check his progress .

My son has some of those traits and he has ADHD and dyspraxia.

Kids can behave differently outside the home so I’d be wanting to know what others like nursery thought.

Have you had his hearing and eyesight checked?

@Soozikinzii when I say walking on toes, hand flapping or spinning he does those quite rarely. Probably does one of them once a day. Is that normal? My other kids definitely did all of them at some point but I can’t remember how often. It doesn’t seem often with him though.

I’ve never seen him line things up. He likes towers but not obsessively at all.

We’ve got a hearing test booked. The last one was unsuccessful as he wouldn’t cooperate. Not thought about his sight actually.

Nursery are picking up that there maybe something as he doesn’t join in much with group activities and the speech delay. They want to wait until January to discuss it.

Sounds to me (as parent of now adult son) with autism very classic behaviours. He exhibited a lot of what you have listed above when he hit 3/4 and there was developmental delay in some areas yet often would use very long words which I was told was classic mimicry. Advice as per all pps. Good luck and keep us updated. My experience was that there was a reluctance to label as autistic at such a young age as there may be other causes contributing but yes, eventually had a positive diagnosis. Don’t be fobbed off and be prepared to fight.

Thanks @TheJustJokerhow is he now? I’m really worried about my son’s future 😔

Yes I would think most of those behaviours would indicate Autism. I have a son with Autism and ADHD and I think most of those behaviours are typical for Autism.
Have you started a referral for an assessment of his needs yet via the GP/health visitor? The nursery can help to provide evidence towards this.

41, married and thriving but the road to this point has been so hard for him and all the family-but there is hope and attitudes have changed so much since he was diagnosed. He’s learnt to moderate a lot of his behaviours and I’m very proud of him.x

@dietstartstmozyes, got a doctors appointment to request a referral booked next week. Nursery have said they can help if they feel there is a concern

Some of these sound like autistic stimming. Get in the system for an assessment if you can - it can take years.

@TheJustJoker He sounds lovely. Shame it’s been a tough road for him and you. I can imagine attitudes back then didn’t help at all. Did he have a speech delay? X

@readingmakesmehappy thanks. What things would you think is stimming from the list above? Sorry new to all of this and I don’t know much about it x

My child is 2.5 and recently diagnosed with ASD and the vast majority of this list applies to him. Would suggest looking at right to choose and the wait lists of assessors if your area will still fund a RTC assessment as this.is MUCH quicker than the usual NHS route. We did RYC, referal in May, assessment in October, diagnosis in November. We were referred for the usual NHS route over a year ago and still haven't even had an initial appointment with the child development centre, and if they decided to assess, the wait may be years.

Thanks @MuddlingThrough1724. I’ve heard of the right to choose. Is that through the NHS?

I would also add, given the concerns and his age, it is worth considering if and EHCP to access additional support/an appropriate setting for school.stary is worth having g on your radar as that process is very ongoing but doesn't need a diagnosis already. I was warned for a Sept 2027 reception start, places for specialist settings/those with known additional.needs and an EHCP, are decided in Nov 2026 locally, so pays to be on the ball in case more support than standard mainstream may be needed.

He just seemed to stopping hitting milestones and developing around 2 and yes, that included speech other than parotting long complex words. It was a rough time for many years (getting the diagnosis, the support etc). But he’s in a good place now and please note not all ASD people exhibit all the same behaviours.x

@TheJustJoker that’s what I’m finding tricky, there’s so many symptoms of ASD. Everyone’s experience is so different. Some days I think he’s not that different from other kids (apart from the speech delay) and other days I realise how far behind he is. A lot of people keep saying he’ll catch up so it’s confusing. I’m worried he’ll never talk 😔

He sounds just like my DGS he turns 3 in April and has just been diagnosed with autism.

I completely understand your anxiety. There’s a horrible sense of helplessness as well, but the process is one of exclusion (as in ruling out hearing issues etc) before a definitive diagnosis can be made. It’s almost like they need time to develop further and “catch up”.( Of course there can be numerous reasons for speech delay). In our case the pathway was health visitor, hearing assessment (all ok) then referral to local child development unit but even they were reluctant to diagnose immediately. We’re talking nearly 40 years ago here. There was regular play therapy and gradually they built up a profile that aligned with the diagnosis.x