What could this be? Autism? DS3

[imcountingtothree123]

My son ages 3 seems different from my older children and other children. This is a list of my observations:

Speech delay, not really any conversation (only responds no or related words. He has a lot of works and phrases (up to 4/5 words) but doesn’t really talk in sentences

Lack of understanding. He sometimes does what we say but not always.

Lost words

Doesn’t point or wave, doesn’t follow point very often

Repeats words and phrases

Doesn’t answer to name very often

Happy to play alone

Doesn’t join in in group activities, singing

Likes to lay down or be upside down

Licks things

Eye movements

Sometimes walks on tiptoes, flaps or claps hands and spins (but maybe once a day)

Picky eater will only drink from one baby cup

very little pretend or imaginative play

Likes a blanket on him a lot

Watching finger movements

Doesn’t like some texture like dirty hands or playdoh

Wouldn’t know how to ride a bike/scooter

Sometimes stares into space (maybe once a week)

kicks a lot (not people, unless they’re there, just into the air)

he has good eye contact
No meltdowns
Not fussy about routine (starting to notice change and gets upset at nursery when there’s a change but he’s just started there)

can anyone help or relate?

Hi OP. I would get the staring into space thing checked out in case he is having absences, mild seizures.

@PammieDooveOrangeJoof Thanks I did ask the doctor but they weren’t concerned at all

Yes, referral via your GP to a provider of your choice, think there's maybe 3 or 4 that will assess younger children for ASD. We used Held Health who were great.

Could also be a speech and language disorder. Could be glue ear. Could be dyspraxia. He is so little. Get the ball rolling first to check his hearing for glue ear - very common. And start to get into the system.

My son exhibited nearly all of the traits you listed here at that age.

What is brilliant is that you are on the ball with looking into it all now, while your child is so young. Many parents wait until a child starts Reception as they imagine that a) the school will spot it (they might, they won’t tell you it’s autism though, not without a diagnosis and b) by being at school there will be extra support and guidance for the child.

Sadly in most cases neither A nor B are true, the child struggles hugely, gets to crisis point and ends up being taken out of class frequently or refusing to even go in.

The steps you have already taken are very smart and will really benefit your child.

I don’t know how to answer what life will look like for your child at 5, 15, 25, 35 etc but I promise you - I’m looking at my autistic son right now - I promise you that he can and will experience joy and love and live a good life. He has you, and that’s all the difference here.

Thanks so much @geminicancerean That’s such a lovely reassuring message. I was worried I’d left it a bit late to spot. I knew is speech and language was delayed but didn’t think it could be more. Really don’t have any experience of ND at all x

@MuddlingThrough1724 sorry if this is a stupid question, but if the right to choose is through the NHS but quicker why doesn’t everyone take that route? I’ve heard people saying they’ve waiting 3/4 years through the NHS for an assessment.

You’re the expert in your child though, that counts for a lot

Yeah sounds like possible autism. I have it and have never had a meltdown. I had a shutdown (quiet version of a meltdown) when I was a teenager. I'm now in my late 50s and have had 3 shutdowns since August. Many autistic people have normal eye contact and never have meltdown. You won't necessarily notice if your child has a shutdown.

If he's autistic, he probably also has ADHD (my psychiatrist says she has never not been able to diagnose an autistic person with ADHD). I'm mentioning this because ADHD is highly treatable whereas autism isn't. Although my doctor says that she thinks ADHD drugs help with autism too but she is only allowed to prescribe them to somebody with with an ADHD diagnosis.

A lot don't know about it, quite simply. However, more recently people do, and the RTC system has been overwhelmed as a result, so some local authorities have essentially stopped referrals via RTC as it is getting too expensive for them to fund without limits on numbers. Lots of areas and assessors are still using the system so def worth looking at it.

You are doing the right thing with the Doctors appointment they can refer your son to appropriate professionals
If it is autism its a huge spectrum and no one can say at this stage how the diagnosis will, impact your son
He is on his own trajectory and as hard as it might be try not to compare him with others.

Thanks all. That’s interesting about ADHS usually being present with autism.

sorry another question.. with an assessment, whether it’s for ADHD, autism etc. does the same person diagnose each one? I’m wondering if we were to request an autism assessment (private or NH) but it was negative would we have to request and wait again from scratch for a new assessment for something else?

Thanks @x2boys I’m really hoping the SLT can help too

Have a read of this: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/about-autism/repeated-movements-and-behaviour-stimming

Sounds exactly the same as my son who was diagnosed with autism at 4 years old. Early intervention is key, im seeing progress everyday with my son (now 7).

Thank you. Did your kids go to a special school?

Mine always has but as I said your child is on his own trajectory I know its difficult but you need to concentrate on your sons needs and what's best for him .

@x2boys thanks x

Have you had his hearing tested!

I’m a SENCO and normally I see these threads and wish people wouldn’t label their child so young, but I must say there are a few flags here.

From a practical POV, bear in mind that soon as they’re 5, any community speech and language provision falls off a cliff because they expect the school to do it all. Take advantage of any chatterbox groups at children’s centres or free things you can get through the HV. Also, if you’re on a border between two boroughs, register for a GP in the borough with better paediatric provision as you can get SALT through them.

I’ve got a toddler and I’ve found that a set of ‘first 100 words’ flashcards got him talking quite quickly. We just do 3 or 4 in the morning at breakfast.

Even if it is something, please do not be anxious. Schools are very neuroaffirming now in a way they weren’t before. We have a class where 70% of the children have a diagnosis of autism or ADHD. We are a mainstream school.

Thanks @Bubbles332 It’s not really a label I’m after, it’s the support which seems to come following a label. However I have absolutely no experience with SEN or ND so I’m just trying to learn and research what I can at this stage. I have no idea what age is the normal age of diagnosis.

We have some flash cards and he will say some of them but it’s totally on his terms. A lot of them he’ll know but doesn’t say if I ask. He’d rather just play with the cards.

@Happyher Waiting for a second attempt at a hearing test!

No don’t worry I wasn’t talking about you, I was thinking about some posters (one in particular) who overanalyse every aspect of their toddler’s behaviour and freak out that it’s ND. “She won’t eat broccoli is it autism??” kind of thing.

A diagnosis can be useful because it can open doors and also give you more of an idea of the KIND of approaches that tend to work with some high-prevalence needs. But every child is unique obviously.

Re: the age of diagnosis, I believe with children who have autism which really affects them cognitively and developmentally, you can find out quite early. ADHD not really until they’re 6/7 because so much of it overlaps with typical development.

Can you afford private speech therapy?

I would look into Gestalt language processing as well.

@Bubbles332 thanks that’s helpful information. I am finding it tricky that a lot of what he’s doing is also similar to what my older two (girl, boy) both did and they aren’t ND as far as know, it was just toddler 3yo behaviour.