To tell them to F*** off and quit before the Christmas break?

[icyblast]

I’ve been working full time at a nursery for 3 years now, and honestly, it’s been terrible. I’m not sure how I’ve managed to stick around this long. I think I just got too comfortable. The kids are lovely, and I genuinely enjoy that part of my job. But the management / owners? That’s a different story. It’s a chain of nurseries, and all they care about is profit. The staff are treated like shit, paid peanuts, and they act like they’re untouchable / above employment law. I could share so many stories, but I won’t bother. However, this latest incident has pushed me and a few others over the edge.

To keep it short, the owners like to donate to charity (which isn’t a bad thing), but they’re not good people, and no one sees what happens behind the scenes. They’ve organised a charity event for tomorrow that lasts 3 hours and threatened us with disciplinary action if we don’t show up. We all work Monday to Friday (that’s what our contracts say) and won’t be paid for our time tomorrow. Plus, it’s the last weekend before Christmas, so naturally, most of us have plans or are going away. They only told us on Tuesday that we were expected to attend. One of my colleagues only started 2 weeks ago (already had plans for the weekend), and while our manager let her off, she basically got a warning and was told not to let it happen again. Seriously? It’s her day off! Why shouldn’t she be able to make plans?

The thing is, if they had just asked us nicely to help out, most of us would have agreed. But they’ve given us no choice and threatened to sack us if we don’t go! Then we have to act like it’s a wonderful company and put on smiles and act happy for the parents and kids. We’re going just to avoid the hassle, but most of us are now looking for new jobs.

I talked to my partner about this, and he told me to just leave. I don’t have another job lined up yet, but I’m fully qualified and have over 10 years of experience in child care. I’m not trying to be cocky, but there are so many care jobs available right now that I doubt I’d have a hard time finding something better. AIBU to hand my notice in on Christmas Eve and enjoy my time off?

They sound awful and don't have a right to expect you to work for nothing for a charity event at very short notice and just before Christmas. However I, personally, would not give them any opportunity to give a bad reference. Be 'too ill' to attend at the weekend then look for a new job in the New Year. It is their own fault if they look bad if few people turn up for this event. People on the minimum wage should not be put in this position. They work long tiring hours for little pay, doing jobs like child care which enable othe people to go to work. They need their time off or properly paid for any extra they do. You are right,bothered are plenty of care type jobs out there. Don't work for nothing at this event, don't give them any opportunity to block your chances with a bad reference and try for a job where you'll be treat better in the new year. 💐

Just don’t go! If they sack you, take them to a tribunal.

I personally wouldn’t go tomorrow and let them try and discipline you, I would then tell them you are taking them to court. Get out of there but don’t let them get away with tomorrow

Have you got a notice period? One nursery I worked at updated to a compulsory 3 month notice period. Luckily I never signed it (deliberately), and they didn't notice, so I was on one month - but you need to be careful of the notice in the contract as it may affect references etc.

Women are too agreeable which is why this shit goes on in women dominated industries.

They are completely unhinged to expect this. Don’t go.

I'd be walking asap. Most nurseries are crying out for staff. I'm sure you'd find something quickly, even if you do bank work to start with to bridge the gap. It's appalling to treat people in that way.

I hope you didn’t go. They can’t discipline you for a rule that doesn’t exist

Women are too agreeable which is why this shit goes on in women dominated industries
This 100%
Even in local authorities where there is power mad male manager and the team is females working with a vulnerable client group so much shit gets pushed under the carpet. It happens everywhere

Would it depend on the contract you’re on? When was a teacher, we had to attend, unpaid, on the Saturday Christmas market they did. We didn’t get a choice but as a teacher, this is always the case.

What does your contract say?

I just wouldn't go and see if they actually sack me. And pull them up on it if they did try while applying for other jobs.

If you're at the point of quitting then just don't go tomorrow (today, sorry), tell them why, and see what happens. I'd let colleagues you trust know you're not going so if they make the same decision there's solidarity in numbers.

Just check your contract - although I would guess any requirement to work extra will use the word 'reasonable', which dictating to you four days beforehand isn't.

Don’t leave, instead - tell them you won’t be able to attend on your day off as you already have plans. Then don’t show up to this event and see if they fire you. If they call you in and give you a verbal warning - then you need to write up the conversation and email it back to them to confirm the statements. Keep everything you say or write factual and not emotional.

Someone mentioned warning them about taking them to a tribunal. Absolutely do not do that, if you threaten them and they dismiss you and you do try and take them to a tribunal - it’s unlikely to go forward. Do not threaten them with anything. Going to a tribunal takes a long time. The process is lengthy and complex. If you think this is an avenue you would want to go down make sure you get legal advice. There have been changes in this process and if they feel your claim is vexatious it can be dismissed. If they feel you are unlikely to be successful- you can be asked to pay fees for the process upfront. It’s not the case of filing some paperwork and then you get to cry in front of a judge to get a pay award. Doesn’t work like that. It’s administrative law - it’s all paperwork - you’ll be asked for tons of it to back up any claim you make. Hence documentation of any warnings or communication. Threatening them would likely plant you in the vexatious zone and you would be dismissed. Writing crazy emails full of feelings and threats about tribunals is not going to help you in anyway shape or form. Do not follow that silly advice please.

If you want to leave, then leave on good terms. Thank them for the opportunity to work there. Don’t write anything about why you’re leaving. Simply advise you’re leaving and when. Follow their policy for the notice period. There are plenty of roles out there in the care sector that would love to have someone that is hard working and cares about the people they are providing care for. Those companies are going to check references though - and it’s better to just be the bigger person and leave on good terms so you have a good reference, than having to defend your character later on.

Leave and then name and shame them, so many of the big chains are like this

I think that could be viewed as a Coercive threat.

Follow @Pherian's excellent advice.
Contact ACAS for advice.
Get it all down on paper or text.
Screenshot everything.

Well if you all don’t go in what can they really do? They can’t sack you all lol

Sounds like where I used to work . Look for a job in a school nursery or charity run pre school. I would never work in a private day nursery again as much as I loved the children.

Don’t resign. Go off with work related stress and raise a grievance. If you’re leaving anyway if your Dr agrees you are stressed then get your 28 weeks SSP first?

This. This is exactly what I was going to say. Do NOT quit a company that does illegal things. DO tell them to sack you over this “five days warning for a mandatory unpaid event a week before Christmas,” and even if they mysteriously decide not to sack you, call ACAS and get advice on how and if you can report them for this (mandatory unpaid event with threats of dismissal). Simply tell your bosses (via email or text, however you communicate in writing) you won’t be coming to an unpaid event as you have longstanding plans. Then their reaction is their choice.

OP, why go to the event tomorrow? Blackmail by your employer is totally unacceptable. Of course most people have plans for the weekend before Christmas & volunteer work is not part of most peoples' plans. Are you sure the charity will actually benefit??

If you can afford to leave and your DP is fully supportive then what are you waiting for? Life's too short to be stuck in a job that makes you unhappy.

Depends how much you depend on your earnings . If you can do it, yes I would.

I hope the "instructions" you were given were in writing eg must attend and won't be paid.
Keep everything!

a close friend worked for a local nursery (which also has a positive reputation on the surface and charges high fees), and the stories she shares of the owner/management are shocking. The treatment of staff is completely illegal in terms of threats, bullying and on the spot sackings based on whims. Unfortunately the majority of staff are young girls, often on low paid apprenticeships, who become too scared to challenge ‘authority’.

This is where I’d not turn up but, rather than quitting, I’d start documenting things for a claim if they sack you or threaten to. I did this years via ACAS ago in a job where I was being treated like shite. All I did was fill in a form seeking a tribunal and almost as soon as they received word of that they settled ( I received £4000 which was quite a lot back then and covered unused holiday pay etc) so it didn’t even reach a tribunal.