Husband’s opinion?

[LetTheMemberSpeak]

NC incase family member recognises this

Today’s reminder that “ask your husband what he thinks” is still alive and well in 2025.
The context was I suggested shortening an email.
The suggestion came from a female family member who knows my qualifications.
My husband does not work in this field. I do. But sure, let’s consult the nearest man.
(my DH laughed at the suggestion with significant eye rolling too btw)

So my question is:
IABU - I should let his member give its opinion
or
YANBU - I should reply with scorn

That is very clear, thank you.

I’m sorry I literally don’t understand this post, like the way it’s written. I can’t understand if you were asking your husbands opinion on shortening an email? Or asking a woman

I think yabu and they were just including the other person in the conversation.

You suggested shortening an email? And a female relative also suggested this. What? Are you the female relative? What does your field and/ or husband have to do with your identity crisis?

Did you get his opinion before this post? It might have helped.

What qualifications do you need to suggest shortening an email?

'I should let his member give its opinion' say what now?

Did you shorten this post and leave out lots of key words?

I don’t think it’s that difficult to work out what happened - the family member got OP to read an email, she suggested shortening it, the family member now wants the DH’s advice even though he knows less about it. So eg family member is emailing a complaint about her GP practice, asks the advice of OP who is a doctor. Then wants to know what DH thinks when he is a fashion designer. Is it just because he’s a man though, or more that she wants to canvass various opinions?

I understood this as Op suggested to shorten an email that needed to be sent off, whereupon OP’s female relative said to ask OP’s husband his opinion. The Op thinks this is ridiculous because presumably she is more qualified/ better at that type of thing, and the relative presumably knows this.

The fact it took another poster to explain what the OP meant then maybe the OP isn’t as expert as she thinks.

eh?

If you write emails like you wrote this post, then yes - ask your husband for his opinion/help.

Could you ask him to edit your post so it makes sense?

So, you drafted an email and have asked a female relative if they think it could be shortened and that person has advised you to 'ask your husband what he thinks'?

Seems like a reasonable reply. Why did you feel that you needed to ask her opinion, anyway? Have more faith in your own email-writing skills.

You asked; she answered diplomatically.

'Hello Penis, should I shorten this email?'

What does the female family member have to do with you shortening an email?

What do your qualifications have to do with shortening emails?

I think I need another coffee.

That's exactly where i went as well. Chortle.

In fairness if you're considering editing a written communication, it can be helpful to ask an outside person's opinion, as they can tell you if it still makes sense. Did you disagree with the woman and she said "Ask Nigel what he thinks" because she thought he'd agree with her?

I voted YANBU because you are not if you think DH was suggested simply because he's a man, but i would say sometimes i do get others including my husband or daughter to read emails i've drafted simply because that are not experts, the use of fresh eyes is very useful sometime, when you know a lot about something , you know what you mean but others may not read as you intended, and when you have a lot to say because you know a lot, sometimes a non expert view is good to see if its landing or as i would often ask am i going on too much.

Sorry it’s unclear - it was late at night and really annoyed.

Family member and I are having to deal with a formal process and need to craft an email response. The female family member takes charge because they like to be in control, but I have professional knowledge in the area.

She drafted an email for me to review. I made suggestions to change some language (to something suitable and specific to the profession) and to make it briefer ie leaving out stuff previously covered which the other party is well aware of. She can be prickly so this was done gently, but it is getting urgent.

Her response was, maybe I should check with my DH, who has no knowledge in this area. Knowing the relative DH can’t decide whether this is because she still sees me as a child (it’s not a parent and I’m in my 50s), or sees him as a walking pen1s.

In other words, DH was only suggested because he is a man and be being male may know more than me. She would not have suggested asking a female friend.

I think you should take all the help you can to write something coherent.

Did you read the update?

I had no trouble reading the OP, OP and totally understand your annoyance. Tell her you don't need his opinion and does she want your help or not?