My birthday tomorrow aibu

[unlikelychump]

Should I feel grateful that dh has just buggered off out the house to sainsburys (and disturbed the children trying to sleep as noone here goes out at 10pm normally). I presume he wants to buy me flowers as a birthday gift.

Iabu - if I am ungrateful
Ianbu - if it is a bit lame really.

How is he disturbing people by opening the front door? If he’s making a noise about it then yes he is being unreasonable, but I could easily slip out now without causing disturbance. How old are your children? Mine are in primary so would definitely be in bed way before now.

It sounds like he doesn't prioritise or care for you at all
Has he always been this rubbish?

He is going out at gone 10pm to buy you a birthday present for tomorrow?WTF is he buying you?

That’s a bit crap OP, I wouldn’t be impressed

Maybe he’s gone to one of those delivery lockers to collect an order.

If he's gone to the shop to get you something for your birthday at this time of hour when you have children I'd be a bit peeved there's a time and a place. this sort of thing I'd have expected my dh to have sorted sooner and at a reasonable time of day. you've had the same birthday for however many years, the date has never changed therefore he should've been more prepared! I wouldn't make a fuss but I'd express that you'd maybe have preferred he had this thing sorted earlier and that you wished to have a peaceful rest before your birthday instead of now having to tend to the kids because he's woke them up and left you to it. X

Would you be more offended if he didn’t get you anything or went out on your actual birthday to grab something? Most probably. The man’s gone out the night before to ensure you have something to open on your birthday. Give him a break

Yea I’d be tempted to tell him not to bother. Too late now I guess but it’s a big pathetic.

Why have such low standards? Why not raise your bar? A last minute present from the supermarket for the mother of your kids and your wife, isn’t good enough.

That's a lot of presumption unless he has a lot of form we don't know about.

Could you not have waited until he got home with or without flowers before deciding whether to get angry? Surely it won't be long.

Low standards because he’s gone out to get presents for his wife, mother of his children the night before her birthday and not a week in advance? This is silly!

See my post. Be glad he’s making the effort at all.

In my world, presents have some thought behind them, especially for your immediate family. We plan gifts that we know the other one would like, and there is a lot of love and consideration behind them. A last-minute gift from the supermarket, smacks of panic rather than love or a wish to make your partner happy.

Pah that wouldn’t bother me. My DH is notoriously last minute about everything. His brain just does not do planning!

Well isn’t that just a lovely world you live in! In mine, I’m grateful for whatever I receive whether it be last minute or not. They thought of me nonetheless and we have plenty of love in my family. So my point was OP, don’t read too much into it. He’s thinking of you by making sure you have something to open for your birthday.

Do you know for certain he has gone to get you a gift? Maybe he has gone to get a card, or wrapping paper?

Happy Birthday for tomorrow 💐

I think perhaps you're feeling a bit unseen because you know that his leaving this late will cause disturbances, and that makes the gift feel not worthwhile, rather than feeling ungrateful.

Like he doesn't deal with the consequences of the disturbances enough to realise it's such a big deal.

Yanbu, I would also be unimpressed.

Sorry and happy birthday

Bloody hell, for all we know he has a cupboard full of presents he bought months ago.

OP is 'presuming' his late night shopping trip is for flowers and that's the only thing she's getting. Absolutely bizarre to post on here about it instead of just waiting to see what he came home with, but even more bizarre that you're piling into the guy based on an unfounded idea of hers.

I would love to be wrong!

Thanks for all the replies. I think generally people think it is crap and I do too - although I worded the op neutrally (nevertheless someone decided i am "angry").

There is of course more to the story and he has bad form with gifts so I have said I prefer not to get them. (Forgetting, buying things i cant use like earrings when my ears arent pierced, or not giving me the thibg he bought) I have also said I prefer not to get last minute flowers. It is a lose lose situation - I am sad not to have anything from him to open, but I am also sad he doesn't listen to me. The reason I posted was to try to pitch my response. If everyone thought it was lovely then I'd have tried to reflect that.

I know it was sainos he went to. I havent been down yet so dont know the upshot. Maybe he went for petrol after all.

Buy your own stuff or send him links. Honestly, after years of mutual disappointment, me and my Dh do this. Much easier all round.

Happy Birthday! 💝

It’s rubbish of him. It’s the lack of thought that hurtful. I would be hurt.

Happy birthday OP. Hope someone makes you feel special today xx