Alexa

[BassBug]

My 17yo daughter has been gifted Alexa for her birthday today by her mum (ex wife) . I'm livid because nobody asked me if it was OK. I don't want Alexa in my house and I don't know what to do next. My daughter lives with me. Her mum and I are divorced but we have a good relationship as friends.

I think you need to unclench, OP. Your daughter can use her new gift in her bedroom

That's true, great for setting reminders and you can make bedtime routines etc on it. Timers too.
My house is full of them. I accept the privacy concerns but the benefits outweigh them for me.
There are also issues with the change over to using cards not cash, and having all your bank details available in your phone, but I don't hear much concern about that.

I wouldn’t have one - having to say “Alexa” followed by a demand/question would make me cringe myself inside out.

I'm with you. I wouldn't allow an Alexa in my house... people are so trusting or technology.

I am livid inside. And I've told her mum how I feel. It doesn't mean that I'm livid in front of my daughter ffs I'm not that insensitive. I have learned to internalise a lot of my feelings about a lot of stuff.

Yeah. Nobody who has any concerns about technology deserves to be in a happy relationship. What a lovely thing to suggest to a stranger on the internet!

I have friend in IT who has everything smart going at home.
People are different.

You don't owe anyone an explanation. It's awful that people have been posting spiteful comments like that when you were asking a perfectly reasonable question. I hope you and your daughter find a solution together, good luck.

Oh one of ours is a bit deaf ! The living room Alexa can hear you even with a terrific din going on as well. The dinning room one you have to wait for quiet and then speak.

We've had ours 3/5 years and no one's stolen our thoughts or identity yet ...

Genuinely, what’s wrong with having an Alexa?

Have you read the thread?

Wtf have I stumbled across here. My lord, the tin foil hat brigade are special. Can only assume some of your pro brexit and reform uk conversations are classified as top secret.

I'm not going to ban it, I just have to learn how to live uncomfortably with it and I have enough to cope with without adding more. I'm HFAU and my daughter is ADHD. I don't cope well with change especially when it comes to my safe space which is my home. It's more of a case of OK, so you have introduced something that makes me feel uncomfortable and stressed so don't be surprised when I hide away more than I already do. And people are also concentrating on government listening in when I'm concerned with strangers possibly hacking into tech owned by an already vulnerable child

It's very important as parents that we avoid, as much as possible, making our children be affected by our own issues.

Love my Alexa although I only use it for an alarm and audiobooks.

Fair enough if you are autistic and struggle with change. But if she keeps it in her room, it won't hear anything from the rest of the house... they are not that sensitive.

I also think that a smartphone is infinitely more likely to get hacked than a smart speaker.

Hopefully your dd will find that the Alexa helps her to manage her adhd more effectively. I know I would struggle without mine.

Wrong. It's on all the time otherwise how can it listen for it's name if it isn't on.

It isn't GCHQ to be worried about. It's hackers, foreign governments etc. that will listen for information it can use to break passwords, pretend to be you etc. They listen for your pets name, or your birthday, or your favourite so and so to look at breaking passwords. Most people aren't that sophisticated and use things that are familiar as passwords. Large corporate companies that employ people to rule out cybersecurity are hacking all the time. Look at JLR and we are inviting listening devices into our homes. The sheer naivety is astounding.

I know people that work at GCHQ and they have said this is true. That is what our world is now - it isn't scaremongering. And they have all universally said they would never have an Alexa, so I'm going to listen to experts.

Well, if I worked for GCHQ I wouldn’t have an Alexa, but I suspect most people are safe. I doubt the Chinese could give a monkeys what I’m having for dinner.

You missed the point entirely.

Could you just wear some tinfoil and enter the house?

And your naivety is the same. We agree on both spectrums (voted to remain and would never vote reform so that sweeping generalisation is out).

No, I think you have.
Letting fear restrict you benefitting from technology, for a normal person, is just silly.

This.

Whether or not the issue is Alexa or something else is not really relevant. All the posters going on about the pros and cons of Alexa have missed the point.

@BassBug
The issue is that your DD has had a very bad time with her mum, plus dealing with her ADHD. You have autism, which makes things harder for you, but you are the parent here, the adult, the one with more maturity, so you need to be the one to help your DD with emotional support and help her to manage her life. She should not have to be helping you with your autism - that is not a child's role.

Does your DD really want to use the Alexa? If not, there is no problem to solve - she can give it away, sell it, or just leave it packed up in its box until she leaves home and takes it with her.

If she really wants it, let her have it in her room, but have a calm conversation about your point of view so that she learns to listen and respect people who have different opinions to her.
You also need to listen to her and respect her point of view.

Why what are you concerned about?

I didn’t say it wasn’t “on”. It’s just not streaming or recording until it hears you say its name. I can’t really explain it any other way.