What will I buy your kids for Christmas?

[BeFairOliveBear]

AIBU to be slightly annoyed with people asking me this?
My mil called yesterday, told me to buy gifts for my kids, wrap them etc and give them to her at christmas to give to my kids. She will revolut me the money. My sister messaged asking me for ideas of what to get my kids and my sil asked the same.
I know I am lucky ( my kids are lucky! ) to get these gifts and people want to get things they know my kids will like but I'm struggling to come up with ideas. They don't want that much stuff and Santa is bringing what I know they want. I know they will be upset if I say just give cash or vouchers.
I think my brain is just full with planning everything, picking out gifts etc

It’s ridiculously late and selfish of them to ask you now

I think it’s a bit much your MIL expecting you to buy and wrap but personally I prefer people to ask me what my children want. Yours are older than mine so I can imagine it’s more difficult but that’s where I’d just be suggesting vouchers or money.
no drama or fuss and guaranteed the kids will be happy!

Keep it vague - "DS is really into Paw Patrol - but has all the figures and cars already. DD is just getting into makeup so any smellies or age appropriate kits would be great"

They want to consider their interests to get them something they want.

MIL is a cheeky fuck to get you to order it and wrap it!

Honestly, this comes across as a bit over the top. It’s very normal for relatives to ask parents for ideas so they don’t waste money or duplicate gifts, especially when kids already have plenty. If you can’t think of anything you can get your own children, let alone someone else gets them, that kind of suggests they’re already very well catered for.

The whole wrapping them for your MIL aside, it’s also not unreasonable for grandparents or aunts to want guidance. If your head is full, you could simply suggest a book, clothes, or one small experience and be done with it.

While you have have paid lip service to the fact that compared to many families, this is a pretty lucky problem to have, but you might need to actually reflect on that fact.

Alternatively, you time travel to the olden days, when children generally to wait for birthdays or Christmas to get things they wanted; that always meant there was an actual wish list!! Sadly time travel is tricker than reflecting on the fact it's not really a burden. Maybe just hand the task over to the children's father.

Who cars if THEY’RE upset, it’s your kids that matter and if they appreciate vouchers or cash over gifts then tell them that, mine would rather that as they ca put all the money together to buy one expensive thing they want rather than receiving multiple smaller things they likely won’t use or the novelty wears off after a day or 2. Tell your in laws exactly that, I’d much prefer handing cash or vouchers than running around buying loads of gifts and wrapping them 😩

It’s ok that they ask for ideas but takes the piss to expect you to wrap - though mine do the same to me and it’s especially annoying when women ask knowing the pressures we mothers are already under having bought everything for everyone in all the family already!!!

as for asking this late in December. Terrible @BeFairOliveBear

I generally think asking for suggestions is a good idea but they’ve left it very late. Cash/vouchers seem a perfectly sensible suggestion at this stage

I buy and wrap for family who live abroad or who are elderly. Cheeky to ask you to do this if they’re just as capable of doing it themselves.

I tell people to ask my kids. They are older so have phones now. I just say to grandparents to text them

I'm the opposite. Although I'm grateful for any gift they recieve, I'd much rather be asked what they want. Avoids duplicates. Ensures they get stuff they will actually use. And doesn't fill my house with crap.

I don't mind being asked for ideas. That's sensible.
I've bought the kids presents from MIL and wrapped them for years now. She sends a cheque to my husband once a year to cover everyone's Christmas and birthday presents. She is older now though, so much more understandable.

I do have another family member who is not old or incapable but will ask for ideas, then send me pictures of things she's seen, often not from the ideas I've said, ask if the kids will like it... it goes on and on for weeks. Sometimes they have an idea of what they want to get and ask me to find it and buy it etc. When I've got my Christmas shopping done early so I can relax, it just feels like I'm having to do her Christmas shopping too, except she's way more uptight and picky so it's picturs and links being sent back and forth. It comes from a good place, but I get really annoyed by it.

I’ve got 4 kids and had to do this for years… even now they older ones are in their twenties.
It did annoy me, as I have enough stuff to buy of my own… but then I realised at least they’re getting things they’ll like. I couldn’t expect my husbands 85 year old Nan to know what to buy for them. She gave the older kids cash as they became teens, but u always bought toys for the little ones. My mums asked me what to buy this year too, have to buy for my 20 year old from her.
Id rather find ideas or buy stuff than to em miss out.
Just accept it

How about a day out or Merlin passes that something both of them can add to ? Merlin passes , cineworld memberships , animal experiences

This 100%. I’m not even going to do all the ‘I know I should be grateful’ thing. I honestly find this one of the worst parts of Christmas. Can’t we all just stay in our lanes? I’ll buy what I need to buy for people and you get on and do your bit. Give them money or vouchers if you don’t know what to do. I’ve batted off one SIL by being direct on this, but still have 5 or 6 people who I have to decide their Xmas gifting for them. Drives me absolutely nuts.

Like you say, put a bit of thought in - happy if you run it by me. Basically make me your PA? I resent this. The rage I am feeling as I type makes me think, I need to do something about this!!

Feel your pain @BeFairOliveBear , my mum sends money and asks us to buy and wrap something for the kids from them.

I suggested just putting the money in their accounts this year but apparently that’s too impersonal 😂😂😂

I buy and wrap for my kids from both their grandad and great grandma. GG is 91 so can’t get out and GD is shite at shopping 🤣

I also get asked for ideas for all 4 of my kids, plus 2 have birthdays in December. as much as my brain is at full capacity I love how my family an I always want to get the kids things they will like rather than something they might already have

would You bring the kids shopping with you and get them to choose a gift from MIL?

I agree OP. My dh manages what his family buy our kids, fair enough he provides a wishlist but they are constantly in contact about specifics. Dc don't have a big present as such this year so are getting lots of bits, he was allocating some of the nicer bits to his family to make it even. I got annoyed, I bloody well do all the work I think I get to give them their favourite stuff and extended family give whatever we don't get. Or feel free to come up with their own ideas. It's our first year without Santa, first time I'll ever get thanks. I want to get them what they want most.

My mother is the only person who I buy for, she is elderly. I don't mind people asking, it's hard to know what kids want and already have. Helps avoid landfill.

I can't imagine what wkdgarag could have said in reply to my fairly mild post that got deleted!

I get where you're coming from but equally I know if my relatives didn't ask they would buy gifts that would go to waste (clothes they would never wear, things they would never use). My children are older teens now but even so I sort a specific item related to a sport, for example, that they actually need not some generic present that is related to the sport but would never be used. As they're older they perhaps want an item of clothing that is expensive so I ask aunties and grandparents if they would be happy to buy jointly. I still have to do it but I can't bear waste.