To leave family alone for Christmas and new year

[Orquid9]

Please help me bring some sense to me. SAD has hit me very hard this year and I am about to buy a ticket costing more than 2k to go to my home country in the tropics: leaving DH and DD18 and DD14 alone for Christmas and new year. DD2 will be 15 on Christmas day.

Every day I wake up wanting to scape, I feel very low atm. We don’t have family in the UK as DH is from Australia

I don’t imagine it will be either, by short break I was meaning a few days in the sunshine for you all. Out local airport currently has flights that give you three nights in the canaries - would give your eldest long enough to study too.

This is why I don’t want kids, because I wouldn’t be able to do selfish things like this.

I have SAD and i don’t get it tbh. Leaving your children? Do you celebrate xmas? Your daughters birthday? Why don’t you plan holidays in the winter to combat it.

Im lucky i fight through mine with morning daylight, lots of outdoor walking, plenty of other exercise and nutrition etc. Vit d helps. I don’t need hot sun i just need daylight. It affects my sleep too. It’s taken years to find a balance

No one is saying it isn’t hard btw but you asked @Orquid9 and it’s not great leaving your family over that time.

As a 15 year old i dont think i would have felt that great if my mum disappeared and missed christmas & my birthday just because she was a bit down in the dumps about the weather.

I do hope that aside from the SAD (which obviously has a major impact on you) that life in the UK isn't totally crap! Maybe it's a matter of what you're used to or grew up with but I like the changing of the seasons - not so keen on winter but there are some blue sky nip in the air days. I can't stand relentlessly hot and humid places myself.
What I'm saying is, I guess it's not just the weather that doesn't suit you. Are you missing your homeland, its culture, food, family? It sounds like until you can get back to southern climes you need to break up the long British winter with a few breaks. Next year plan ahead and you might get a better deal for a break in the
sun between Christmas and New Year. Better to have a week away every couple of months rather than one holiday of two weeks if that's possible workwise.

Everyone saying "book a holiday for all of you on boxing day" make a fair point.

But do the husband & daughters want to go away on boxing day, do they perhaps not want to just spend time at home. I love going on holiday but not sure i could really be arsed to travel etc after christmas busy time.

Seems like everyone in family seems to have make adjustments to accommodate you which doesnt seem massively fair.

How are you when it’s brighter? Is your mood actually better?