To take son out of nursery?

[NoSleepMum7]

Our first son (2y 5m) started nursery in September, as we had our second son in August, and he’s been going 3 full days a week. He loves it there and his speech has been amazing since he started going, he’s doing SO well, but I feel like every other week there’s a new illness there. I’m not sure if it’s because of winter and obviously kids immune systems are a bit useless, so I get the colds and stuff but I feel like it’s so constant it’s starting to worry me. Our baby is now 4 months old and I’m not exaggerating when I say I’m pretty sure he’s been ill more than he’s been well, he’s had a cold basically constantly since around 4 weeks old, he’s had a few days between where he gets better but then instantly gets congested and has a vile cough, sniffly, very fussy and unsettled from feeling poorly. The nursery had sickness and diarrhoea in October, so we kept our son off that week to try and limit him catching it which luckily he didn’t. Then November he got hand foot and mouth from there, which was hell as we had to keep him and the baby separate, I was constantly disinfecting everything he touched, my husband worked upstairs while looking after the baby and doing his bottles and naps up there, I had the toddler downstairs and deep cleaned every single night, we used hand sanitiser between touching the kids to try to limit it spreading between them, which luckily it didn’t get the baby. Then they’ve just put another announcement to say another room at the nursery has HFM again - different rooms for different ages obviously but they all share the same garden area and toys. And in between that he’s had basically a constant cold which then we’ve all had too. Now I’m wondering if this is normal and just how it all works, or if the nursery is just slacking on cleaning? Because I swear no one else I know seems to have this many issues with their kids nursery. This is our first time having a kid in nursery so I could just be being silly but it’s making me so worried alllll the time
and I’m debating pulling him out and finding a new nursery. Or is that just what happens at all nursery settings?

please be nice 😂 I have no idea what to expect so if this is relatively normal then I’ll just suck it up but if most places aren’t constantly like this then maybe we should look to go elsewhere? Any advice appreciated!!

Young kids get sick all the time when they start going to nursery. If they don't go to nursery, they get sick all the time when they start school. I personally think that it's better for them to build up the immune system sooner rather than later.

Totally normal and better for them to get the usual illness over with before they start school. They will be be building up immunity.

It sucks though!

It's pretty common across childcare. And like a PP said, if they don't do the nursery setting, they'll catch it all at school.

Just stop toddler touching baby's hands and face, practice good handwashing and it should be fine.

Snap!

Exactly this.

What everyone else has said. It’s what happens at nursery/ school/ anywhere with lots of children getting together.

It’ll probably be like this - back to back colds and such (which you’ll all get) - for the first 6 months. Then it will calm down a bit as their immune systems build up.

And, as others have said, it’s actually pretty vital that your child goes through this. You need some exposure to these things in order to build up a better immune system. But it really is a horrible period!!!

That seems fairly normal and nothing to worry about. I remember my own experience as I was what could only be described as "sickly child". I had virtually everything from common cold all the way to pneumonia and everything in-between. Constant doctors' appointments. As an adult, though, I am almost never ill.

I feel your pain as my dd started nursery September and it’s literally been no gap between virus’! Latest is chicken pox !

That’s just nursery but it really will settle down after he’s had the usual suspects. They don’t, in my experience, tend to get the same viruses as readily again (except obviously colds).

Ride it out and you’ll see that it settles down but illnesses are just one of those childhood things

I just want to counter this comment "it's vital that your child goes through this" that viruses are far more harmful for kids when they're under five years old. For example, it's been shown that if a child has an ear infection when they're under 3 they're then significantly more likely to have repeat ear infections throughout their life - because the virus damages their ear while it's still forming.

It's even worse for babies - some very ordinary illnesses can be deadly for babies. Their skull hasn't closed so viruses travel to their brains way more easily.

Not that the very severe consequences are that likely - but it is way better for kids to get ill and built up immunity age 5 than when they're a toddler or a baby!

If you are very worried about your baby id keep the toddler off tbh - you're not going to stop the repeated illnesses with nurseries, they're all like it!

Pretty standard nursery stuff I'm afraid.

Mine doesn't go to nursery but we have a full time nanny who takes him to playdates and groups etc and he gets sick a lot too.

The week he got HFM is still the worst week of my life. He had it so, so badly, I can't describe it. Four of the kids in his regular playgroup ended up in hospital so I think it was a particularly horrible strain.

For the week before Christmas and before a big holiday, she keeps him off the indoor stuff and arranges playdates outside. So maybe keep him off so Christmas isn't ruined.

Come on, dont be silly.

Wait till school starts and then you'll know about illnesses.

Nurseries at this time of year are full of illness - it won't matter which one you choose! To be honest, the rest of the year we rarely have children off sick. This year some of the illness spreading around has been caused by parents sending poorly children in masked with Calpol and the nursery don't know until the Calpol runs out at lunchtime. It's not fair on the child, the other children or the staff but unfortunately happens. HF&M is difficult because the NHS says no exclusion period for it - we made our own policy because it spreads like wildfire. Same with conjunctivitis. Sympathies - it's hard but really not the nurseries fault

It’s hard but any group childcare setting is full
of viruses at this time of year. Including school, and you won’t be able to avoid that unless you homeschool. If it’s any consolation, DD had her first cold at 4 weeks, caught from DS who was at nursery and then had a succession but with no long term ill effects (she’s now 17). In fact, I think it helped her immune system because when she started nursery, she caught so much less than her older brother.

Thank you all! I think hearing that it’s normal has put me at ease, with him being our first, I didn’t really know what to expect and I think I’ve then been panicking that it’s not clean there, stupidly 😂 this has made me feel much better - thank you guys!!

When my son got sick a few times almost back to back, she started ranting about how the soft play doesn't disinfect enough. I'm like "have you seen toddlers????" They put everything in their mouths, they're constantly covered in snot, you can't bleach a soft play or a nursery every hour. And most of these viruses are airborne anyway!

Same with us OP, I feel sorry for my second who is 4 months and has had colds most of his life bless him. We’ve had chicken pox, HFM and countless colds / coughs over the last four months, it’s absolutely relentless and exhausting.

As tiring as it is having to manage ill toddlers and newborns, I’m just grateful I’m on maternity leave and not also having to deal with the stress of managing work while having childcare disrupted almost every week due to illness.

My ds was unwell a lot in his first year at nursery and I ended up hitting a trigger for absences at work. It did improve then, though, and he is never ill now. The last day off he had for sickness was in 2023.

I do think it’s worth relaxing about things like this. I know hygiene is important but it’s also important to live a normal life and nursery is a part of that.

It’s part and parcel of life however, it’s the selfish parents that send in their children when they’re visibly unwell, d&v, high temperatures, dose the poor child up to send them in and infect another 10 or more children in the process which exacerbates the situation.

It's par for the course op. They get sick a lot the first year and especially September through to March. But it does gradually build resilience. Ds has been in nursery since 11 months and the start was absolutely brutal like this for him, but now he's just turned 3 and he's actually rarely (touch wood) sick. We've only had one mild cold since Sept this year so I feel like that's set him up well for school and I'd rather he missed nursery with illness than school with illness. Id been well warned to expect this so wasn't too shocked but the one thing I didn't expect was that I was going to catch everything from him. It's a rough run but it's also building resilience in your littlest as well.

Totally normal. My youngest had HFM, chickenpox and viral gingivitis in his first year at nursery poor child, as well as usual colds.
I didn’t go to any childcare til playgroup at 3 as my mum was a SAHM and still had mumps and measles (pre vaccination programme).

Do you think you're over sterilising so there's no chance to build up an immune system?

How well I remember this - vomiting bugs, stomach bugs, ear infections, back and forth to the GP, bottles of Calpol, a hot and listless toddler, on and on for weeks. It will pass, OP. Hard though it maybe, you will reap the rewards when your little boy goes yo school.

It’s completely normal, I’m sorry to say! And tbh I’d say it’s only really easing up now that eldest is 10 😂. Some kids just get sick a lot, I definitely have two of that variety. Others seem more robust.