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Original poster

To find it increasingly annoying, that parents send clearly ill children into school

295 replies

Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 13:39

As the title states really, why do parents continue to send clearly ill children into school . When they should
A. Be at home resting and recovering
B. Stop spreading their illness on to everyone else
It’s not fair on the child and everyone else , and I find it incredibly selfish

OP posts:
MannersAreAll · 14/12/2025 14:19

Schools do not have an issue with children being off when ill . It’s when parents lie and take them on holiday etc

Some absolutely do. I worked in schools for 20+ years and some are absolutely reasonable about illness and some aren't.

They are under huge pressure to show they push attendance.

My DS has flu (tested positive - we were all tested for covid and flu when my other child was hospitalised) so I obviously kept him home so as not to spread it round and the school agreed. Had a call the following day saying the school had been advised that if he's not feeling too unwell for school physically then he should be in.

They did sound very grateful when I lied said he was feeling much worse and wouldn't be in for the rest of the week.

SwirlyShirly · 14/12/2025 14:20

Ds7 woke up being sick a couple weeks ago. I kept him home, phoned the office. That evening I had a welfare phonecall from his teacher… this was his first day off sick this school year, mind you.

Truetoself · 14/12/2025 14:20

@Howarewealldoingwhat work do you do? If a child is actually ill, I don’t think any parent will send them in. But the threshold has to be higher than just a snuffle or feeling under the weather

MannersAreAll · 14/12/2025 14:20

NaturePlace · 14/12/2025 14:11

Do schools no longer have medical rooms or sick rooms? When I was a child, if I was taken ill at school I was sent to the medical room. Sometimes I was lying on a bed in there all day until home time. Parents were only called in exceptional circumstances - and many parents were uncontactable anyway, as they didn't have a phone. Sometimes one of the teachers would give a sick child a lift home, if they didn't seem well enough to walk home by themselves.

Nobody stayed at home if they had a cold.. But we were expected to stay away if we had an infectious disease (the most common ones that everyone had at some point during primary school were chickenpox, mumps, measles and German measles).

Many schools don't have that kind of space now. It's also no longer acceptable to leave a child unsupervised for that kind of period of time either.

Original poster
Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 14:22

I don’t mean a little cough but when you see kids looking clearly ill , snot constantly dripping down their face, coughing up a lung , weak and lethargic, drained. Been throwing up the morning /night before , flu etc . Your child should not be in school regardless it’s cruel on the child and they come first .

OP posts:
sweetkitty · 14/12/2025 14:26

I’m a teacher in an ASN with children with compromised immune systems and life-limiting conditions. We’ve just had an outbreak of norovirus plus this flu that’s doing the rounds. Yet children are still sent in clearly unwell. They can’t even tell you how they are feeling either. A lot are dosed with Calpol and sent in with parents expecting a phonecall later in the day. The poor children are lying crying clearing very upset and nothing comforts them, or they’ve had 2/3 episodes of diarrhoea but the parents are arguing it’s their diet! (If it was their diet they would be having diarrhoea everyday).

For us it means other children getting ill, and also staff. Some have been reprimanded for having too much time off, they themselves are scared to stay off so drag themselves in. I know parents have to work and also need time to sleep etc but we aren’t respite care.

yzme · 14/12/2025 14:26

Just because you’ve never had an issue with attendance doesn’t mean no one else has. Just because you’ve never had an issue with an employer doesn’t mean no one else has.

I’m lucky that my current employer allows me to work from home if my child is sick. In a previous job, after a few days I wouldn’t have been paid, and I had very limited childcare around me. Not everyone can afford to take unpaid time off work, especially in the current climate.

My youngest had what sounded like an awful cough for a month last year that just wouldn’t shift but she was fine. I couldn’t have kept her off that long.

Whilst I don’t agree with children being sent in when they are clearly unwell, I do think you’ve been in a very lucky position.

Nevermind17 · 14/12/2025 14:28

Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 13:44

Schools do not have an issue with children being off when ill . It’s when parents lie and take them on holiday etc .

Show quote history

You’ve obviously never had a DC dip below 95% (through illness). They’re relentless.

StuffyHuffyPuffy · 14/12/2025 14:29

We got a letter when my kid was so ill he had to go hospital, so his otherwise excellent attendance dipped below 90%. Never happened before or since, but that letter still burns. Sometimes kids are left upset because they won't get the 100% attendance award because they caught a bug.

Also, work/uncompromising management/service capacity challenges... Employees have kids who get sick, but it's not easy for many to take the day off. It's cruel to the kids, but an unemployed parent could be the outcome.

Original poster
Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 14:30

sweetkitty · 14/12/2025 14:26

I’m a teacher in an ASN with children with compromised immune systems and life-limiting conditions. We’ve just had an outbreak of norovirus plus this flu that’s doing the rounds. Yet children are still sent in clearly unwell. They can’t even tell you how they are feeling either. A lot are dosed with Calpol and sent in with parents expecting a phonecall later in the day. The poor children are lying crying clearing very upset and nothing comforts them, or they’ve had 2/3 episodes of diarrhoea but the parents are arguing it’s their diet! (If it was their diet they would be having diarrhoea everyday).

For us it means other children getting ill, and also staff. Some have been reprimanded for having too much time off, they themselves are scared to stay off so drag themselves in. I know parents have to work and also need time to sleep etc but we aren’t respite care.

Sorry you have to deal with this it’s unfair on the children and staff. Staff should not be expected to step in as nurses to look after children so parents can go into work .

OP posts:
AussieManque · 14/12/2025 14:31

It doesn't have to be this way. The "attendance trumps all" attitude is self-defeating as it's leading to more illness absences. The Dept of Education data itself shows that illness is the leading cause of persistent absence.

I can share my experience from an Asian country where public health is still focused on infection control, unlike the UK. Diseases like RSV or flu are notifiable. More than three cases at once in a class and the class gets shut down for a few days to break the chain of transmission. Parents are regularly asked to do rapid COVID/flu/tests if there are cases, before sending children in, and to send the photos via the parents WhatsApp group (which teachers are also part of). Someone catches something, the parents inform other parents to watch out for symptoms. Masking is common, yes even amongst 3-year olds, it is perfectly normal and accepted. There is genuinely a culture of trying to avoid spreading illness to others.

The UK has gone in totally the opposite direction and is completely failing to mitigate against contagious illnesses, in both the education and healthcare sector. As a result, the population is sicker. And yes there's data showing this. No coincidence that this started in 2020.

Original poster
Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 14:36

AussieManque · 14/12/2025 14:31

It doesn't have to be this way. The "attendance trumps all" attitude is self-defeating as it's leading to more illness absences. The Dept of Education data itself shows that illness is the leading cause of persistent absence.

I can share my experience from an Asian country where public health is still focused on infection control, unlike the UK. Diseases like RSV or flu are notifiable. More than three cases at once in a class and the class gets shut down for a few days to break the chain of transmission. Parents are regularly asked to do rapid COVID/flu/tests if there are cases, before sending children in, and to send the photos via the parents WhatsApp group (which teachers are also part of). Someone catches something, the parents inform other parents to watch out for symptoms. Masking is common, yes even amongst 3-year olds, it is perfectly normal and accepted. There is genuinely a culture of trying to avoid spreading illness to others.

The UK has gone in totally the opposite direction and is completely failing to mitigate against contagious illnesses, in both the education and healthcare sector. As a result, the population is sicker. And yes there's data showing this. No coincidence that this started in 2020.

Totally agree if people didn’t send sick children to school . Then the sickness rates would go down it seems so simple to be .

OP posts:
Lorrymum · 14/12/2025 14:36

I worked in education for over 20 years and the emphasise on 100% attendance was ridiculous. Many obviously poorly children traipsed into school spreading whatever they were suffering from. End of term certificates for attendance were given to those who came in everyday. The class with the lowest absence rate were rewarded with a school trip as a treat.

Keeponshining · 14/12/2025 14:37

Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 14:02

your job is not going to fire you for taking time off if your child is sick . So sending them in ill is selfish. If everyone Stopped standing there sick children into school and spreading it less children would catch it .

Show quote history

Do you work OP? Because your job is not going to fire you for taking time off if your child is sick is the most naive thing I’ve read in a long time.

I agree that kids who are lethargic/febrile/vomiting shouldn’t be in. That doesn’t happen very often at our school at all though, I can’t ever once recall seeing a kid that poorly being dragged in through the gates (although granted my eldest is only year 1).

DC are in all the time with coughs and colds - because that’s what our school attendance policy states. They’d rather have them in and contact the parents later if they turn out not to be well enough.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 14/12/2025 14:38

Usually one of three things:

  1. Can't take time off work to look after them.
  2. Can't leave them at home for fear of being accused of/arrested for neglect (in which case you get sacked anyway).
  3. School has been complaining about poor attendance, but get a bollocking if you send them in anyway.

If it feels like everyone is out to get you, that's because there might be some element of truth to it.

yomellamoHelly · 14/12/2025 14:39

One of Ofsted's new focuses is attendance I believe and what school's are doing to maximise it. Not their fault that they have to challenge each and every one.

MannersAreAll · 14/12/2025 14:40

There is a school round here (my DS should have gone there but didn't) where the HT's stance is that parents should send their child in and if he deems them unwell enough he'll send them home.

popsthecat · 14/12/2025 14:40

Barrenfieldoffucks · 14/12/2025 13:41

Presumably cause the school crack down on absence and they have to work.

This!!!

Jamesblonde2 · 14/12/2025 14:41

Barrenfieldoffucks · 14/12/2025 13:41

Presumably cause the school crack down on absence and they have to work.

Good grief since when did working trump a child being unwell. What has the world come to. Most (I assume, or hope it’s still most) children have 2 parents and many have family to assist. Some don’t but MOST do.

Original poster
Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 14:41

Lorrymum · 14/12/2025 14:36

I worked in education for over 20 years and the emphasise on 100% attendance was ridiculous. Many obviously poorly children traipsed into school spreading whatever they were suffering from. End of term certificates for attendance were given to those who came in everyday. The class with the lowest absence rate were rewarded with a school trip as a treat.

Yes the whole 100 percent attendance should be scrapped. It’s discriminating against kids with long-term illnesses. And encouraging spreading illness . Never understood why going in to school while ill was considered something to celebrate. And glad my children seen straight through it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 14:45

Jamesblonde2 · 14/12/2025 14:41

Good grief since when did working trump a child being unwell. What has the world come to. Most (I assume, or hope it’s still most) children have 2 parents and many have family to assist. Some don’t but MOST do.

Show quote history

Exactly some off the reason people give for sending their sick children to school
A teacher phoned and had a moan = so
I need to go to work
Your child is ill your child you know your main concern. Blows my mind 🤯
teacher are not a step in nurse to look after your sick child .

OP posts:
Shoestalk · 14/12/2025 14:47

I agree with op. Mine has just had a week off for chickenpox finally well enough to go in and then picked up nasty infection and is now most likeky off again with temperature and really runny nose tomorrow. I know its coz parents send unwell kids into school abd its not coz of work as the ones I know who do it are stay at home parents

Shoestalk · 14/12/2025 14:49

Poor kids who are Sent to school sick as if its a health centre not a place of education let alone passing it to all the other kids and staff so close to Xmas.

Stade197 · 14/12/2025 15:01

Luckily my ds hasn't needed any days off sick but his school along with others put incentives out for kids that have 100% attendance. Ours sent out emails that any child who attends everyday until Christmas gets the chance to win a massive festive food & treats hamper and the rest of the year there are fun school activities for the children, certificates and a small prize each term for 100% attendance so people send their kids in sick so they don't miss out on these things

Mumofteenandtween · 14/12/2025 15:01

My kids caught what I suspect was flu a few years ago. Both in bed for a week. Unfortunately this was the last week in September so school had been back less than 3 weeks. Their attendance figures were therefore appalling. Below 75%.

And boy did we hear about it!

Every sodding parents evening we had the target figure (96%) pointed out to us and how our figure was below it. Slowly slowly the figure went up which they were very happy about.

And I am a well educated, well off, borderline posh woman with two kids who are excelling at school. I have enough social capital that there is very little they can do to me. I prefer to have a positive relationship with school as that is nice but I don’t need to. I am not reliant on them to support my children with SEN as they do not have any SEN that needs supporting. I do not fear being reported to Children’s services because I am confident in my parenting. If the relationship with school fell apart I could afford to send my kids to the local private school.

So it was easy for me to shrug off their obsession with a quick “yep - they had the flu in September - it’ll go up hopefully”. But I can imagine it must be very hard to do so for some other parents whose lives are much harder than mine.