Page 11 | To find it increasingly annoying, that parents send clearly ill children into school

Howarewealldoing · 2025-12-14T13:39:37+00:00

As the title states really, why do parents continue to send clearly ill children into school . When they should A. Be at home resting and recovering B. Stop spreading their illness on to everyone else It’s not fair on the child and everyone else , and I find it incredibly selfish

SweetnsourNZ · 16/12/2025 06:19

HolTimeAgain · 14/12/2025 13:51

School's absolutely do have an issue with children being off when ill. All illnesses at my DC's are marked as unauthorised unless the parent provides evidence of a doctor's appointment - not all require a trip to the doctor so what do you do? That will cover you for day 1, day 2 requires evidence of prescribed medication.

I received a phone call querying why I had said that my DC with a sickness bug would be off school for two days, apparently at their school only 24 hours absence is required.

I don't want to send them in any more than they feel well enough to go in but every unauthorised absence adds up and no, I don't take them out for holidays.

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So do the school pay for the doctors certificate. Employers do here so would think same rules should apply. Also, why would you drag a child with a cold out to the doctors to infect everyone else when they should be tucked up warm at home.

Talkingdonut · 16/12/2025 06:21

That's true, but looking at it from another point of view, if keeping your child off an extra day and not going to work means you can't afford food or fuel to heat the house which one do you choose? Not every parent has paid leave, understanding employers or extended family that can help in these situations.

Perfect28 · 16/12/2025 06:28

'people have to work'. If you have children they should always come first over work.

Perfect28 · 16/12/2025 06:30

More people need to learn to ignore the attendance nonsense from schools, and I say that as a teacher.

Rpop · 16/12/2025 07:48

Justlostmybagel · 14/12/2025 13:43

Because people have to work.
Because schools send threatening letters, if your child is off too much.

so that other parents then get ill children and have to do the right thing and take time off instead. Hmm…thanks.

if your child is ill, keep them home. Viruses or illness can ravage a family and ruin weeks.

Rpop · 16/12/2025 07:56

ForMyNextTrickIWillMakeThisVodkaDisappear · 14/12/2025 13:57

A friend of mine works in a preschool and says the amount of children who should be at home recovering from illnesses but who come in last week of term before Christmas instead, is shocking. Fear of missing out often. While it’s nice, I guess, for little Charlie to not miss out on the party or the nativity play etc while he’s clearly really suffering from what is apparently more than a little cold, it’s not so great for everyone else including the staff. My poor friend always ends the term with at the very least a foul cold. Once it was a heavy cold, conjunctivitis and hand foot and mouth disease. All at the same time. Happy Christmas. I decided right then I never wanted to work with children and deal with their selfish parents

same here. I caught d and v off my young relative who should have been kept away (but parents couldn’t bear the use of him missing out). I threw up over Xmas for days and then ended with a week of migraine after disrupted eating and drinking. Then off back to work.

Phoenixfire1988 · 16/12/2025 08:10

Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 13:47

Parents have to work but if children are ill they need to come first . The same.way an adult would have time off if clearly sick . School don’t have an issue children having time of if ill . They have an issue with parents lying and taking kids on holiday

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Glad your schools like that most aren't! Your truth doesn't make it THE truth . You know they're ill you know they're going to be sent straight back home but you have to send them anyway .

ALJT · 16/12/2025 09:32

Well blame the gov for making kids and parents increasingly worried to have time off due to risk of fines… also for putting the prices of everything up so we can’t even afford an unpaid day off.

Justlostmybagel · 16/12/2025 09:37

Rpop · 16/12/2025 07:48

so that other parents then get ill children and have to do the right thing and take time off instead. Hmm…thanks.

if your child is ill, keep them home. Viruses or illness can ravage a family and ruin weeks.

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Some people can afford to take time off, and some people absolutely can't. They're going to prioritize keeping a roof over their head and go to work. That's life.

Rpop · 16/12/2025 09:52

TigerRag · 15/12/2025 19:26

For some people such as myself, colds make them very poorly. I'm still recovering from the cold I got 2 weeks ago which also involved steroids for 5 days.

Oh silly me, the pandemic proved that no one cared about those of us who are vulnerable to illness. It's like people are happy to spread their germs around

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Exactly. It’s fine people saying that the OP is naive and some people have to go to work and some children are forced by the school to be there even if they’ve been sick the night before. But fundamentally, some people get very ill and our family has ended up with bugs bouncing from one of us to the other for weeks, totally wiping us and our jobs out. If you’re sick or ill, don’t mix.

IstillloveKingThistle · 16/12/2025 09:55

Canwejustnot · 15/12/2025 18:43

Our school effectively punishes children for any sick days off. Those without 100% attendance, no matter the reason, are excluded from treats and competitions. Parents also demonised as not taking education seriously if child has sick day. It's vile, multi-level pressure on parents to put a sick child among the healthy.

That’s utterly disgusting.
It’s all for their own stats - with no concern or care for the children.
I would be complaining to the Trust or powers above them.
The school sounds horrible.

IstillloveKingThistle · 16/12/2025 10:00

Justlostmybagel · 16/12/2025 09:37

Some people can afford to take time off, and some people absolutely can't. They're going to prioritize keeping a roof over their head and go to work. That's life.

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Not that simple. Why should everyone else have to suffer . You need to find childcare then. . End of.
School is for learning. It’s not free childcare and if your child is poorly then not only are they spreading their germs around ( and potentially to immunocompromised children/ staff / parents , they are also too unwell to learn ( which is why they are at school in the first place) and need rest and recovery.
Parent your child properly and get child care for when they are ill. 🙄

Justlostmybagel · 16/12/2025 10:06

IstillloveKingThistle · 16/12/2025 10:00

Not that simple. Why should everyone else have to suffer . You need to find childcare then. . End of.
School is for learning. It’s not free childcare and if your child is poorly then not only are they spreading their germs around ( and potentially to immunocompromised children/ staff / parents , they are also too unwell to learn ( which is why they are at school in the first place) and need rest and recovery.
Parent your child properly and get child care for when they are ill. 🙄

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I don't have kids old enough to go to school so I don't need to anything. I work in a school and simply have an understanding of what "I have no money, unless I go to work" means.

PigeonsandSquirrels · 16/12/2025 10:36

TigerRag · 15/12/2025 19:26

For some people such as myself, colds make them very poorly. I'm still recovering from the cold I got 2 weeks ago which also involved steroids for 5 days.

Oh silly me, the pandemic proved that no one cared about those of us who are vulnerable to illness. It's like people are happy to spread their germs around

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I’m also immunosuppressed… my last cold lasted 6 weeks, but I recognise that the world can’t stop for me and being jobless/homeless/unable to put food on the table is someone else’s priority over my condition.

PigeonsandSquirrels · 16/12/2025 10:41

Perfect28 · 16/12/2025 06:28

'people have to work'. If you have children they should always come first over work.

Except if you don’t work then your kids don’t eat… working is putting them first

AdjustingVideoFrameRate · 16/12/2025 11:45

Sartre · 15/12/2025 09:14

Same for my DC in secondary. They have attendance events every half term so if your attendance fell below 97% that half term, you can’t attend. They reward 100% attendance at the end of each year too. In secondaries it’s a massive deal to be there. We’ve actually had teachers say, come in even if you feel sick and we’ll only send you home if you actually vomit.

I had really snooty remarks in a school report when my DC were 5 and 6 because they got chicken pox so had a full week off and their attendance was below 97%. It said something like “they would perform better academically with improved attendance”. They expected me to send them in with chicken pox?!

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This just seems so ridiculous to me. Why would they value attendance data over children’s health, teachers’ health, children’s ability to learn (and they learn nothing when ill), parents’ health and the health of the general public?

Priorities seem to be totally upside down.

Usernamenotav · 16/12/2025 11:59

A. The school system punishes kids for being off ill
B. Parents cannot afford the time off

Usernamenotav · 16/12/2025 12:01

Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 13:56

I’ve never had an issue when my kids take time off school when they are genuinely ill . I keep the school informed every morning before register is taken and never had an issue. And FYI if they did it would make no difference .My kids come first And I’m not sending they in to school when they need to be at home resting . Which means they will recover quicker instead of running them down into the ground .

Where do you work?

Dragonmiroff · 16/12/2025 12:51

We are in a world where both parents need to work now. Who will look after the ill child. Whose boss is going to understand that you need to be off to look after a child. How much holiday do people have to take when a child is ill and then half terms etc. We should be supporting people to have a parent be stay at home.

ThatRoseBear · 16/12/2025 12:56

My child hasn't been to school since Thursday, she is poorly and I am not sending her to spread it out when she feels crap. She has now passed it on to my other child who has woken up feeling the same today and is off. If our school want to come and check they are both home sick and not off on holiday they are more than welcome!

BreezyLurker · 16/12/2025 13:06

You might well have a school who don’t bother but my child has had 4 days off sick (2 days spread over 2 weeks) & 1 hour for a medical appointment & the school have sent me a letter about his attendance. They wrote the words “There are of course, genuine reasons (such as illness), which can make attendance at school difficult and as a school we understand this.” However if that was true then there would be absolutely no need for the letter in the first place as I called up & notified them of illness.
This is after I wrote the teacher a message because my son came home crying as he had said he was poorly at 10am & they strung it out all day & never let him go home, Just told him to drink water & see how he goes despite him saying multiple times. I was angry so told them I’m at home & have no issue collecting & that I could see instantly he wasn’t well but she basically lied & made excuses that they wouldn’t send him home unless absolutely necessary! As a whole they care way more about attendance than you realise. Maybe your children just haven’t had that much sickness so you haven’t experienced it.

Kirbert2 · 16/12/2025 13:19

Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 18:44

Most the time letters get sent automatically , It baffles me people are so worried about a letter . If your child is sick your child is sick. Do you really think if the parent disputed it they would lose . Sometimes common sense has to play apart .

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Yet when my son went through cancer treatment, we received no letters about his poor attendance.

The letter shouldn't exist in the first place. It's possible for schools to be reasonable and not put families under such stress when they are struggling in the first place in the case of a child having cancer treatment and similar things.

RendeersDancingTowardsChristmas · 16/12/2025 13:22

Rpop · 16/12/2025 07:48

so that other parents then get ill children and have to do the right thing and take time off instead. Hmm…thanks.

if your child is ill, keep them home. Viruses or illness can ravage a family and ruin weeks.

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The ill child most likely caught it off another child at school...
And for the record, colds can be contagious before a child feels properly ill.

TigerRag · 16/12/2025 13:53

The letters are nothing new. I had 3 weeks off ill recovering from an operation. Day 1 my parents sent in a letter explaining the situation and could they please send work home being aware that I couldn't attend for 3 weeks.

School phoned every week until I returned despite my parents sending a letter in

And then on my return I had teachers moan at me for my absence

Plumnora · 16/12/2025 18:34

My child's school phone up for welfare checks of the child is off for more than a couple of days.
When I was little I had to be dying to get a day off school! We all went, we caught viruses and we built our immune systems up.
I work full time in a very stressful job. I'm a single parent and if I don't work we have no home and no food. It's that simple. And that's the story for many, many other families are in the same situation.
That said, my youngest had had a significant amount of time off school this term, I won't go in to why but school have been very understanding.