To find it increasingly annoying, that parents send clearly ill children into school

[Howarewealldoing]

As the title states really, why do parents continue to send clearly ill children into school . When they should
A. Be at home resting and recovering
B. Stop spreading their illness on to everyone else
It’s not fair on the child and everyone else , and I find it incredibly selfish

For some people such as myself, colds make them very poorly. I'm still recovering from the cold I got 2 weeks ago which also involved steroids for 5 days.

Oh silly me, the pandemic proved that no one cared about those of us who are vulnerable to illness. It's like people are happy to spread their germs around

That school is ridiculous! My 5 year old has had 8 days off after having her tonsils and adenoids out in September and 4 days with scarlet fever this month plus hospital appointments and they’ve not been bothered about any of it.

I have a DC who is in remission from cancer and naturally has a lowered immune system, so catches every bug going, and has a lot of hospital appointments. The school are aware of all this and have been provided with evidence of appointments and treatments. One term we managed attendance of 94.8% which was remarkable considering her health and I still got a threatening letter from school saying that her attendance wasn’t adequate.

Sounds like OP has sent kids to private schools where of course they won’t argue with you keeping your children home.

and OP clearly doesn’t understand that not all employers will let you WFH or have paid carers’ leave. For some families if the parents don’t work the kids don’t eat, and in even worse cases they rely on the kids getting fed at school.

Unless you provide “proof” and that’s a doctors appointment or prescribed medication they mark it as unauthorised absence every time.

As a teacher you see both kinds of people. You have one type of parent who doesn't bring their child on their day off, for the slightest sniffle or because they flat out don't feel like it. Their attendance is horrendous and then because the school has them on monitoring because their attendance is so horrendous and phone, the one time their child is legitimately ill they leap down your throat and post it on social media that the school is pressuring them to bring in their sick child. When actually it's because attendance overall is so low that the local authority is breathing down the back of both school and parent.

Then you have the other type of parent. Whose. Child. Is. Never. Absent. Often they are parents who need to work and don't have forgiving employers. They will bring their child in even if they have vomited and not tell the school. Then act surprised when we ring them (we know because the child will have told us). They Calpol their children up and hope for the best. They shout at schools when they attempt to send their child home. I once had a dad yelling at me because clearly it was my fault their child vomitted. Clearly we had been jumping up and down or something. We had been doing maths. Then it was, well it's not a lot of sick. If it was a bug she would have been projectile. The poor little mite was stood there with sick down her cardigan as her irate father was doing this as she was adamant that she didn't want to take it off and was getting distressed.

Then there are the sensible parents (increasingly few and far between) who bring their child in 90% or above of the time. And don't when they are obviously too poorly.

My son’s school absolutely has a problem with children being off even when sick. They don’t follow the 48 hour rule for sickness. They ask that you send them back into school as soon as they aren’t being sick.

They provide a list of what they think is acceptable for reasons for absence.

i have 100% kept my son off for genuine reasons when he had a fever and he was marked as unauthorised the first day and the second day was authorised.

I have challenged them on the unauthorised day and they have ignored me.

so lots of schools have absolute issues with absences. I am pleased you haven’t had issues with your school. But I have had a letter about absence (despite me challenging the incorrect information) and have even sent pictures of antibiotics when my son was unwell another time with tonsillitis.

I do keep both my children off when it’s needed - but in my area schools are absolutely cracking down on what they perceive as genuine reasons to be off! And there are not many!

This is quite a privileged take and suggests a) that you’ve always had salaried work rather zero hours or contracting/self-employed where you don’t get paid or screw up client relationships if you can’t work and b) that you have never worked for a terribly boss/company that absolutely will put you on a performance review for poor attendance.

People tend to get more annoyed at being around ill people at this time of year because they are worried about getting poorly themselves over christmas so I wonder if thats where this post is coming from?

Obviously different parents have different thresholds for what they consider worth keeping children off. Children commonly have 8-12 infections a year with each one taking 1-3 weeks to fully recover from. If we all kept them home every day they were poorly with something there wouod be no one there so there’s got to be a line somewhere.

If my child doesn’t have a fever and they haven’t got an illness the school/ gov say they should avoid school for (D&V, chickenpox etc) then they go to school as per the schools policy. If the teachers feel they are too ill to be there then they can call me and i’ll go and get them.

There have been times when I have kept my child home because I’ve thought they were too poorly and then they’ve bounced around all day looking bright as a button and sometimes when I’ve thought about keeping them home but decided to give it a go and send them in half expecting the phone call and when I’ve picked them up the teacher has said they’ve been absolutely fine. There have been very very few occaisions when i’ve been called to pick them up.

You may not have any issues yourself with schools hassling you for poor attendance but many have. 3 days in 4 weeks for my daughter meant we got a phone call even though my kids both have over 97% attendance each year.

Unfortunately although you seem to have a supportive workplace some workplaces are really toxic (you should have seen the hassle my husband got about being at my sons bedside in the intensive care unit in a previous job!) and many people dont get paid for emergency/ carers leave so if things are very tight then they might have a much higher threshold than you for sending them in.

I hope you all have a healthy christmas.

So if you had to take a few days off work with an ill child what would your employer say? Many would en unpaid leave or you have to use annual leave. Many people can’t afford those days to be unpaid.

Not at my daughters secondary school. Whole different ball game to primary.

It’s very common.

My child has a autoimmune disease and she gets ill so much that we have chosen I stay home as her school attendance has never been over 80% a lot of time she's off because school make it so hard for children to be off and she gets the illness from other kids 10 times worse usually requiring a hospital stay !!

Schools reap what they sow.

My son was off for a week with flu I rang school everyday, prior to this he had 98% attendance and I had a home visit and had to get a docs note. It's alot of faff, it is the schools making it like this!! It's ridiculous! Apparently the government are cracking down on it. We've even been sent a note at what we can and can't keep them off for ..... foot and mouth send them in.... whooping cough send them in.. it's ridiculous

I have been the recipient of vile letters threatening court, the EWO (who happens to be a good friend of mine) and social services.
My son was out of school 4 times for appointments with services for his autism - ARRANGED BY SCHOOL. Then he was very very sick for a week. Went back to school and had an appointment on the Friday in school with a support worker. He was counted as absent.
The following week he had the Friday morning off for his Healios meeting and then another Friday for a follow up, finished with the week before Christmas where he spent 2 days throwing up and 2 days flat out refusing to move - CAHMS were called and told me he was suffering mentally with everything that was going on and do not send him.
First day back, I ended up in the headteachers office as she essentially told me I was the scum of the earth for refusing to send my son to school….
She verbally threatened me, sent emails and letters with “Social services have been informed” and “The EWO will be contacting you shortly”
Needless to say nothing came of it (I had appointment cards to everything and the CAHMS plan laid out) but the following term he went on chucked up and was sent home. It happened every day for about 2 weeks until the school accepted they were in the wrong about his mental health. They started recording his absence correctly and I didn’t have to send him in sick again.

This really drives me nuts when people send there kids in sick.Our child has a weak immune system and when they get sick it floors them.Ive heard parents talking saying there child was been sick that morning but they had to get to work etc it is so selfish for people to do this

The school my children go to put lots of pressure on parents to send their children in.
My daughter had a single day off and we had a call from the well being team to "check up on her"
They also sent her home one morning and called the same afternoon when she was missing from afternoon registration to check how she was and to check if she was going to be back the next day.

My friend was harassed every day her son was off school with tonsillitis.

The students with full attendance get rewarded

With regards to parents taking time when unwell, I think you have to be very lucky to be in a position to phone in sick and take time off. I often go into work when I feel unwell. I get full sick pay, but often force myself to go in sick as I know I will be letting people down.

Those who do have regular sickness get put on a health improvement plan and are told they need to reduce their sickness and are blocked from doing extra shifts and may face disciplinary.

I have literally gotten a threatening letter and a call from the attendance officer this term. My dd has missed 3 days. 2 half days because school called me and said she felt ill and I had to come collect her. 1 day each after the half day where she was sent home. Her attendance is 94%. It’s not 95% so threatening letter and attendance officer. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We follow school guidance on absence. 48 hours for d&v, keep her home for a fever, send them right back in with COVID because that’s what school told me when I asked what should do.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/626669cb8fa8f523b7221b98/UKHSA-should-I-keep-my_child_off_school_guidance-A3-poster.pdf

We got sent this fairly recently …. I’ve had phone calls (as have other parents I know from other schools) saying ‘oh but the class could get 100% attendance this week … could you bring them in late and see how they feel later’

Some LA’s (and therefore schools under them) are absolutely ruthless and parents are getting criminal records for unauthorised absences where they can’t get proof of a doctors appointment because doctors don’t want to see patients with d&v for obvious reasons (some LA’s will prosecute for 1st offence when over the threshold and not bother pushing for the FPN).

Sounds like you’ve been very lucky but this isn’t the case with all schools …. For what it’s worth I ignored this advice with HFM as I did not want to be responsible for other people getting it but the government department are literally saying it’s ok so you can surely understand why some people send them in?

My son's school have been strict on absence, I have to ring in everyday to report him being off ill, symptoms and the 5th day I have to get evidence of a dr apt otherwise they wont authorise abscence!🤯

My son's close friend was ill at school, my son told him to go home as he was so unwell, then he ended up getting this horrible virus and got a bad chest infection!

My son then got ill a few days later and was off with similar symptoms, temp of 39.4, but luckily didnt develop chest infection, but this illness has affected his asthma bad.

The dr advised not to send him in with a high temp, which I wouldnt anyway and the school sent out guidance on when children can be sent in and not.

I know my own child and wouldnt put him at risk if hes ill sending him in. Schools are a breeding ground for illnesses to be spread around like wildfire.

Some kids and families are more vulnerable with illnesses than others.

I think maybe some parents cant take time off work, or maybe worry about the schools rules about absences!

But I agree it isn't fair. The schools should ensure that they are ventilating properly and keeping environments as hygienic as possible!

Naive and untrue
Even for comparatively safe jobs eh NHS.

We get 3 days per year, any more and it's unpaid and expected you'll get a carer in to look after kids.

Alot of jobs would find ways to let you go if you were off sick yourself never mind your kids.
And your school doesn't argue it, great, but alot do.
You can't judge the world by your experience only.

Schools do have issues with genuine illness.My daughter is awaiting a endoscopy for a coeliac diagnosis and the GP has advised her to eat gluten until she has this procedure.This makes her unwell frequently and she has had 4/5 days off this academic year, it return I get phone calls from school

Our school & MHS require it. I refuse to send a sick child in.

Please look up the government sickness policy - schools are not allowed to do this. But do!